Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

Thank you for your kind words. I can certainly relate to the difficult situation you find yourself in. Thanks for sharing your experience. It seems so many of us are having to deal with this after spending 50 years together.

I would encourage you to follow your interest. The Senior Center as well as our community both offer painting classes. If this is of interest to you, you may want to look into this. I am interested in doing more things than I have the energy to do. I did sign up for some strength & balance classes that meet twice a month, I may be able to get my husband to join me in these. I also signed up again for weekly guitar lessons. Like you I also journal. In addition I am seeing a psychologist. My support network isn’t good which is what encouraged me to sign up on this site in order to communicate with others who are in situations similar to mine. It’s easy to feel very lonely when your friends are able to life out their lives as planned. They really don’t understand & I really don’t want to burden them & my son by always complaining. This site has been a Godsend. Thanks for reaching out. Best wishes on finding an activity that will interest you both!

I wish we were friends. This site offers a wonderful connected community.
Yes-married 51 years and here we are. I cherish when we can laugh and have a real discussion in between my worries and fears about the future.
Moment by moment is all I can do. One foot in front of the other. One day at a time.

How wonderful that you have a relationship that you can discuss your concerns. With my husband’s ADHD we have had issues through out our entire marriage & the current cognitive issues only complicate it further. I really can’t have any meaningful conversations with him. It’s very challenging. I tend to isolate myself while he chooses to watch TV. He does keep the kitchen picked up so I do have to give him credit for that. It’s complicated.

My husband has similar limitations. I’m learning to be VERY patient in answering the same questions multiple times. I find that if I structure some time in my studio with “I’ll be working in the studio and will be done in 2 hours I decompress. If you have an independent passion/hobby you can pursue I think it helps. I’m SO happy to find this site. I know it will be helpful.

She is very lucky to have you. What a great attitude!

It’s good you have found a way to decompress & renew. That is so important. Thank you for sharing. Between talking to a psychologist, finally getting “brave” enough to sign up on a support group site & hearing from others dealing with situations similar to mine, & finding interest that keep me from focusing on the negative all have helped “put me in a better place mentally” than I was. I do have to work on improving my strength & endurance & have signed up for classes for that at our local senior center. Thank you for reaching out & sharing what has worked to help you cope.

My situation is a little different from yours, but also has some similarities. I have been married to another man for 15 years. Last year he was diagnosed with MCI and this year (in October 2024) he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It was a shock for me. I became anxious when I projected myself into the future and I felt enormous sadness when thinking about the beautiful moments of our relationship. Eventually, I could not stay in that terrible state, and I made a list of what were my currents personal needs. I needed to plan for the future, but also stay in the present, cope with the situation which is sometimes stressful and enter in a process of grieving a lot of things. But beyond all that I needed to talk, especially with people who are going through the same things as me. I think seeing a therapist (which I also do) is excellent. I am also looking for a support group for people living with someone with Alzheimer's. I will talk to my husband’s neurologist for references. I am sure that would help. In addition, I have found a hobby that has become a kind of passion. I joined a group with which it is pleasant to exchange on our common activity. This allows me to stay connected with life outside of the disease.

That being said, I cherish every moment I spend now with my darling. We continue to have a fulfilling relationship despite the hard times. It is not always easy, but the illness is there and we have to find ways to adapt and stay connected.

I do not know if my comment is helpful to you, but I hope you meet a network of support in this ordeal that is experienced every day. Good luck and I wish you find want you need in 2025.

Thank you for sharing your story with me. I’m so sorry to hear his condtion was confirmed to be Alzheimer’s . It’s something that certainly is in the back of all of our minds when the uncertainty of an MCI diagnosis is given.

It certainly sounds like you have given careful thought to your situation and options & have with the help of your therapist arrived at a plan you can move forward with.

When I was looking for a support group for MCI, it seemed they were few & far between. It seems there are more Alzheimer’s support groups around. I would definitely encourage you to check out your options. I can emphasize enough how helpful the responses from the people on this site have been to me. I feel like I’ve been given a new lease on life just being able to have a discourse with people in situations similar to mine. It’s so hard when you feel you have no one but your therapist to talk to. Getting feedback from others has been tremendously helpful. I’m so appreciative of everyone who has taken the time to write. Another thing that has been helpful for me is journaling. I sometimes share what I have written with my therapist. That too sometimes helps to seek clarity.

I still have unresolved issues I’m working on. We’ve been married for 52 years but not all has been bliss so I’m finding there are unresolved issues that also act as blocks for me & what I feel willing to do. It’s complicated. I’m so thankful for my counselor.

Thanks again for writing. I’m sorry it was confirmed that it’s AD you are dealing with. I would encourage you to contact the Alzheimer’s Association. I understand they have a lot of resources available. I wish you the best as you move forward.

Thanks for your reply.

Even if it is virtual, it’s reassuring to know that some people care. I am glad that you received many supportive comments. Thank you for the advice about Alzheimer’s Society. It is a excellent idea indeed.

And yes Journaling can be so helpful during these ordeals, especially when you consult a psychologist. It sure helps the therapy process outside the doctor’s office.

Take care and have a wonderful day!