Preparing to Age in Place

Posted by edsutton @edsutton, Apr 23 7:58am

Many of us in the Aging Well Support Group express similar concerns. We are currently doing o.k. in our homes, on our own, but recognize that disabilities may be on our horizons.
Can we be reasonably proactive about this?
What can we do to stay in our homes as long as possible?
What can we do to gracefully reach out for assistance when we need it?
What can we expect the costs will be as we try to imagine the economies of our lives as we age?
What modifications can we make now that will make life easier when we have less strength and energy?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@bebold

Oh. I was just re-reading. We have "lots" (?) of low income housing. Not lots as the waiting list I think is years.
But also, rereading what you said about HUD. I'm in that gray zone. I have too much SSA to qualify for any assistance, food etc. But that also makes me way way better of then people making < 1000 month which is who really needs those places based on income.
The thing for me is I bought a condo 7 years ago that it was kind of in bad shape and was in pre-foreclosure so I was able to get it, and a local organization that helps first time homeowners buy a place by giving the deposit at 0% interest that is a lien on my condo but doesn't need to be repaid till the end of my mortgage. My seven year old 30 year mortgage ends when I'm 93. I'm not concerned. My "estate" lol can handle that or the gov takes it all to put me on Medicaid for a nursing home.

My mortgage is only $700 which is just amazing. As long as they dont cut down SSA, I'm ok. First floor. Ramp. All that stuff is good for being able to stay here I just don't qualify for anything. Make too much to get help but not enough to pay for it myself. Hundreds of thousands of us in this between place.

So I'm more fortunate than many! But that doesn't make or those in that gap with me, lucky right?

I'm also particularly depressed right now living in the middle of a war zone still since I'm in Asheville and it's going to be like this for a long, long, time. Doors on falling down houses marked with a big X which means people died there. Up and down streets all the furnishing piled up in the front yard. Just 1/2 mile from me and I'm not close to the really bad spots.

We just get to hear the personal stories that aren't on the news. A family from church and their house just floated away. I don't even know if they found the kid's bodies. That's where I'm living. So that feeds my depression. Everyone living in the air of trauma. It took me days to realize how close I came to serious damage from tornadoes. Trees the width of trucks uprooted and still just laying there.

The world moves on. It affect all of our mental health. And Christmas with kids who have zero belongings. People all pitching in to try to normalize something for these kids also who have lost friends. 10 and lost their best friend. So yeah, feeds how hard it all feels. So, Im sorry.

Its going to be about a year before Mayo can replace my hip I injured when I fell last March. Its been a wake uo call to be in so much pain AND yes, get my groceries, almost falling in the bath a few times a week.

A wake up call to this topic. I just need a hip replacement but will waiting put me in a home?

Are we all are one fall from a nursing home? Kind of yes but its been that way for seniors for decades or more. I've just never been here before with it being me?

Too close to the bone I guess. Ill stop.

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Why is it taking so long for a hip replacement? I thought it had to be done immediately. God bless you. So sorry for Ll the devastation in NC. Praying and sent what I could.

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@vic83

"...Also a home is a very poor investment if you don't pay cash for it."
Generally, I advise younger people to start saving for retirement as soon as they have a job. Today, pensions are gone and have been replaced with a 401K.
Regarding the purchase of a home, remember that one has to pay rent if one does not buy, And rents increase and that is money one never sees again. With a home one builds equity.

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Buying a house was the best investment I have made. I made sure that the mortgage was paid off before I retired and now I have no house payments or rent to worry about.

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@cembry

Why is it taking so long for a hip replacement? I thought it had to be done immediately. God bless you. So sorry for Ll the devastation in NC. Praying and sent what I could.

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Here, it takes several months before one is scheduled for the surgery and when you do get a surgical date it is several, 2 or 3, months in the future. This town has undergone extremely rapid growth and the medical community has simply not been able to keep up. We have only so many lower extremity surgeons. It takes several months to get in. But once in, the treatment is first class.

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@vic83

"...Also a home is a very poor investment if you don't pay cash for it."
Generally, I advise younger people to start saving for retirement as soon as they have a job. Today, pensions are gone and have been replaced with a 401K.
Regarding the purchase of a home, remember that one has to pay rent if one does not buy, And rents increase and that is money one never sees again. With a home one builds equity.

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@vic83. So true. The vast majority of us don’t have cash for a big purchase like a house. A carefully chosen house - with manageable mortgage payments to avoid stress and be able to still enjoy life - is a good investment IF possible. If at all feasible paying for a mortgage over dead rent grows a sellable asset.

So important to also build a separate retirement cash flow as tax effectively and as low risk as sensibly possible. Big gains are so attractive but come with big risks.

I’m so lucky that by the time I was forced by ill health to retire early I was totally debt free, had a decent self funded pension and an emergency cash fund. Thanks to an old fashioned father and up bringing!! Not easy and took dedication to achieve but luckily achieved before I knew I was very ill.

I don’t live expansively - don’t wear high end brands, don’t drive a luxury car etc (in fact my Mazda 6 is 18 years old and looks and is going great thanks to being able to keep servicing up to date).

It’s all a question of prioritising and keeping an eye on what the plan is when a wage is no longer coming in

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@mikebiker

Buying a house was the best investment I have made. I made sure that the mortgage was paid off before I retired and now I have no house payments or rent to worry about.

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I bought my very first home (condo) when I was 63. It will be paid off when I'm 93. Then I have to take out another loan to pay back the local group that gave me $20,000 interest free (plus the increased value.) I Don't really think I need to worry about it so much as what are the chances i'll make it to 93, then what are the chances a bank will give me a 5+ year load to pay off the lien I have right now. Kind of funny isn't it? 30 year loan at 63 but so grateful to own something for the first time in my life.

and when I bought this condo in 2017, I had no idea what would happen to housing/rent. I bought it in preforclosure for $140,000. My mortgage (PITI) is $730/month for my 1200 sq ft, 2 bed/2 bath condo. I've been here 7 years. My previous rent was $1000 for a one bedroom 700 sq feet. Then the pandemic and now my condo is worth $300,000 and the rent on my old apartment is over $2,000. I would probably be homeless or I don't know where had I not gotten help to buy this condo. I am a very fortunate and grateful woman. Imagine today, I pay $730, am able to live alone still as I have my entire life, and there are ramps for my now crutches/wheelchaired life. Life is funny isn't it. I've always been lucky.

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@joanland

Here, it takes several months before one is scheduled for the surgery and when you do get a surgical date it is several, 2 or 3, months in the future. This town has undergone extremely rapid growth and the medical community has simply not been able to keep up. We have only so many lower extremity surgeons. It takes several months to get in. But once in, the treatment is first class.

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I fell in March 2024. I hurt my hip. It took 5 months to find a dr willing to do an MRI on my hip. Every note from every dr I had seen stated my pain was not in the place I said. My back, my tailbone, etc. It was my hip. My PCP ordered my hip MRI in August and I have a torn labrum in 2 places. I finally found a surgeon and for many reasons, I decided he was not the one. I was able to get an appt in Jax Mayo for Feb 19th. The surgeon right now, 12/2024, is booking surgery 3 to 5 months out. I expect if he is willing to do my hip replacement it will be 4-7 (?) months out by my Feb appt. So 2025 doesn't seem like it's going to be better than 2024, at almost 70 it's hard to just lose years. But I feel like I will finally be in good hands in Jax. I have to drive myself 6.5 hours to get there. Won't be easy (bad hip is my gas leg) but I will be there. Drive back. then wait for surgery and go from there. The only flights from my airport have a 5 - 6 hour layover in Atlanta. Best to just drive.

It's becoming a long wait everywhere you go. The surgeon here I was going to see, I wasn't going to even get to meet him till March with surgery scheduled for April 2025. If I didn't like him, the whole winter would have been wasted with an entire year basically sitting in a chair. I said no and called Mayo. Very happy I did.

And I've probably already said all this here. Maybe inside I needed to be reminded to feel grateful. I'm also having a little bit of cognitive issues so I've decided no more tramedol even tho I've only succumb to taking it for a couple of months, it's not the best for seniors. There are so many other things that happen to our bodies when in pain and on pain meds and not sleeping well for many many months, and alone, and still trying to be independent for a year, groceries, even laundry, etc. Our entire bodies pay the piper. I fell right when I turned 69. I hope to be better when I turn 71. I'll miss those two years when I'm 74...

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@bebold

I fell in March 2024. I hurt my hip. It took 5 months to find a dr willing to do an MRI on my hip. Every note from every dr I had seen stated my pain was not in the place I said. My back, my tailbone, etc. It was my hip. My PCP ordered my hip MRI in August and I have a torn labrum in 2 places. I finally found a surgeon and for many reasons, I decided he was not the one. I was able to get an appt in Jax Mayo for Feb 19th. The surgeon right now, 12/2024, is booking surgery 3 to 5 months out. I expect if he is willing to do my hip replacement it will be 4-7 (?) months out by my Feb appt. So 2025 doesn't seem like it's going to be better than 2024, at almost 70 it's hard to just lose years. But I feel like I will finally be in good hands in Jax. I have to drive myself 6.5 hours to get there. Won't be easy (bad hip is my gas leg) but I will be there. Drive back. then wait for surgery and go from there. The only flights from my airport have a 5 - 6 hour layover in Atlanta. Best to just drive.

It's becoming a long wait everywhere you go. The surgeon here I was going to see, I wasn't going to even get to meet him till March with surgery scheduled for April 2025. If I didn't like him, the whole winter would have been wasted with an entire year basically sitting in a chair. I said no and called Mayo. Very happy I did.

And I've probably already said all this here. Maybe inside I needed to be reminded to feel grateful. I'm also having a little bit of cognitive issues so I've decided no more tramedol even tho I've only succumb to taking it for a couple of months, it's not the best for seniors. There are so many other things that happen to our bodies when in pain and on pain meds and not sleeping well for many many months, and alone, and still trying to be independent for a year, groceries, even laundry, etc. Our entire bodies pay the piper. I fell right when I turned 69. I hope to be better when I turn 71. I'll miss those two years when I'm 74...

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I came back to delete this and it was too late. Sorry to go on and on.

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@bebold

I bought my very first home (condo) when I was 63. It will be paid off when I'm 93. Then I have to take out another loan to pay back the local group that gave me $20,000 interest free (plus the increased value.) I Don't really think I need to worry about it so much as what are the chances i'll make it to 93, then what are the chances a bank will give me a 5+ year load to pay off the lien I have right now. Kind of funny isn't it? 30 year loan at 63 but so grateful to own something for the first time in my life.

and when I bought this condo in 2017, I had no idea what would happen to housing/rent. I bought it in preforclosure for $140,000. My mortgage (PITI) is $730/month for my 1200 sq ft, 2 bed/2 bath condo. I've been here 7 years. My previous rent was $1000 for a one bedroom 700 sq feet. Then the pandemic and now my condo is worth $300,000 and the rent on my old apartment is over $2,000. I would probably be homeless or I don't know where had I not gotten help to buy this condo. I am a very fortunate and grateful woman. Imagine today, I pay $730, am able to live alone still as I have my entire life, and there are ramps for my now crutches/wheelchaired life. Life is funny isn't it. I've always been lucky.

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I had similar experience as you. Just before I retired I was able to purchase a condo. The mortgage, property taxes, HOA fees, and public utilities combined total less per month than I was paying for rent. The condo value has greatly appreciated, and rent at my old apartment has increased. So, I still pay less for home ownership than renting. And my condo square footage is larger than my old apartment's. So, I consider it a win-win for me.

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@bebold

I came back to delete this and it was too late. Sorry to go on and on.

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Bebold-
I appreciate what you wrote, and hope you will continue to share as you find ways to stay independent through a difficult time.

We can use these "short term" periods of disability to make adjustments to our homes and living skills so that we know we are prepared (somewhat) in advance for difficulties we may face in years to come.

I'm currently having mild vertigo, to be seen early next year by a highly recommended Physical Therapist. I'm surprised at how the slight uncertainty of balance and difficulty of extended reading and playing harpsichord impact my confidence. This therapist helped my wife with similar problems and I'm hoping for myself.

Meanwhile I'm looking for ways to simplify my environment and get basic living tasks done easily. Office and library resources always expand if you don't edit and simplify regularly! Today I'll straighten the bookshelves and see what I can send to a new home.

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@bebold

I fell in March 2024. I hurt my hip. It took 5 months to find a dr willing to do an MRI on my hip. Every note from every dr I had seen stated my pain was not in the place I said. My back, my tailbone, etc. It was my hip. My PCP ordered my hip MRI in August and I have a torn labrum in 2 places. I finally found a surgeon and for many reasons, I decided he was not the one. I was able to get an appt in Jax Mayo for Feb 19th. The surgeon right now, 12/2024, is booking surgery 3 to 5 months out. I expect if he is willing to do my hip replacement it will be 4-7 (?) months out by my Feb appt. So 2025 doesn't seem like it's going to be better than 2024, at almost 70 it's hard to just lose years. But I feel like I will finally be in good hands in Jax. I have to drive myself 6.5 hours to get there. Won't be easy (bad hip is my gas leg) but I will be there. Drive back. then wait for surgery and go from there. The only flights from my airport have a 5 - 6 hour layover in Atlanta. Best to just drive.

It's becoming a long wait everywhere you go. The surgeon here I was going to see, I wasn't going to even get to meet him till March with surgery scheduled for April 2025. If I didn't like him, the whole winter would have been wasted with an entire year basically sitting in a chair. I said no and called Mayo. Very happy I did.

And I've probably already said all this here. Maybe inside I needed to be reminded to feel grateful. I'm also having a little bit of cognitive issues so I've decided no more tramedol even tho I've only succumb to taking it for a couple of months, it's not the best for seniors. There are so many other things that happen to our bodies when in pain and on pain meds and not sleeping well for many many months, and alone, and still trying to be independent for a year, groceries, even laundry, etc. Our entire bodies pay the piper. I fell right when I turned 69. I hope to be better when I turn 71. I'll miss those two years when I'm 74...

Jump to this post

Fear not. I had a complete hip replacement at age 87. I am 90 now and can walk fine with no pain. Thankfully I had an excellent surgeon. He still sees me once a year. I also had a lot of physical therapy. This is very important so please make sure that your doctor orders this for you. Good luck.

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