Not Incontinence but bathroom messes and clothes soiling

Posted by spolson53 @spolson53, Nov 22, 2024

My wife has been rogressing along the dementia path for several years now and is clearly at Stage 5. She is NOT incontinent, but every couple of weeks she will get totally confused in the main bathroom (tile floor fortunately) and I will find her standing surrounded with poop. She wears wool clogs and I have to run them in the machine to clean after this, using OxiClean along with detergent. One time that didn't total work on odor, so I used my ozone generator in a cardboard box to treat them. Fortunately that worked. The cleanup in the bathroom is major. But even worse is that she wears nothing but dresses and has given up on underwear. Not that it would make any difference. Her current dress has dried poop on it, on the inside surfaces. Fortunately, after it is dried, it doesn't seem to smell like dog poop would. But one can make out dicoloration on the outside of the dress that hints at an issue. She absolutely refuses to change her dress or be cleaned in any manner. To the point of becoming combative if you try and force the issue. On normal days, she does wipe herself but puts the tissue in a drawer, not the toilet. That is rritating but not the wrost problem. Who knows the condition of her body when she has the big blowout. She is on Lexapro daily, and the doctor has given me Ativan to give before trying to change clothes/bathe. The last blowout was after I gave that to her, so I am nervous about trying it again. We have a caregiver come in once a week, but that company has said they can assist, but can't make her do anything. It is mostly just to visit with her (they get along great). I am at a total loss as to what to do....

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@jehjeh

I'm so sorry you're in this position. I'm glad you are there to support your mom though. My 5 siblings and I did that for our mom, twenty years ago and it was the best decision we could have made.

I'm now going it alone with my husband not wanting in home caregivers and resisting a move. It's so hard to navigate at this point. I kind of wish the disease would progress further to force me to make a move but, for now, I stick with the status quo.

You're right, those who haven't been here don't get it. Moving him seems logical to outsiders but they don't realize the complications and emotions involved.

Sending virtual hugs to all who struggle with this.

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Thank you! Hugs to you as well. It is difficult. It’s almost like a club. When you live this life, it’s a unique experience. I certainly never expected anything like it. It makes me appreciate life so much and the simple things like a night out with friends.

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I’m dealing with same with my mother. She and dad moved in with me 8 months ago. Mom had a bath this morning after peeing on floor in bedroom. When she was getting dressed in bedroom, she pooped on everything and needed a another bath. But we had to wait because my husband was helping my dad with his bath. Horrible morning. This kind of thing only happens a couple times a month at this point. I am going to try better to make sure she is never without a diaper outside the bathroom, but unfortunately she takes it off herself where she shouldn’t.

I am thankful I have a husband who supports us.

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@tschierk

I’m dealing with same with my mother. She and dad moved in with me 8 months ago. Mom had a bath this morning after peeing on floor in bedroom. When she was getting dressed in bedroom, she pooped on everything and needed a another bath. But we had to wait because my husband was helping my dad with his bath. Horrible morning. This kind of thing only happens a couple times a month at this point. I am going to try better to make sure she is never without a diaper outside the bathroom, but unfortunately she takes it off herself where she shouldn’t.

I am thankful I have a husband who supports us.

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Man, that’s a lot! I think I mentioned up thread that there are sites that sell adaptive clothing for those who have dementia which prevents them from removing them unassisted.

I have read that incontinence is the main reason care is not maintained in the home. I would imagine it is quite distressing.

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@celia16

Man, that’s a lot! I think I mentioned up thread that there are sites that sell adaptive clothing for those who have dementia which prevents them from removing them unassisted.

I have read that incontinence is the main reason care is not maintained in the home. I would imagine it is quite distressing.

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It certainly is! That is not thevonly messes cleaned up! Frustrating..but what can you do? Your best!

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