Dementia patient all of sudden starts being angry at one person?

@robertwills

This long .. so you can skip to last two paragraph is you want. 😁

My mom lived with one of my brothers .. he was single. (she passed in 2020) So he was her caregiver to begin with. Mama had dementia from strokes.

I called her just about daily. I am a patient of Mayo Jax. I had had 3 abdominal surgeries (2013, 2014 and 2015) there and the last one was open surgery. It was difficult for me to.. and still is .. to ride long distance and 35 miles one way was too much for me to do very often to see Mama.

A few months after I got my feeding tube removed in October of 2015 Mama started calling me every seven to ten days .. she was angry with me for stealing photographs from her albums. I had not looked at her albums in years. I never stole any. I did borrow one album to make copies of some of the photographs. I returned it in with all photographs.

We had Christmas Eve dinner at her house in 2015 and I (light bulb) understood what was happening. My brother had Mama’s medications on a metal tray .. about 12 bottles or so. He just set the tray in front of her at the table and she took a few medications. I tried to get him to listen to me and put her medications in pill boxes so he could give her her medications properly.

She would run out of her pain medicine and some others she would take when she thought about it. She went to the orthopedist who controlled her pain medication. Because she kept running out he prescribed a pain patch. Her family dr put her on a bp patch. Two medications my brother could handle.

In June 2018 the brother she lived with had to be hospitalized His gallbladder and part of his colon were gangrene. The surgeon said he died during surgery and they revived him. He had a small stroke during surgery. He had c-diff after the surgery and stayed in the hospital a few weeks and then to a nursing home for rehabilitation .

Mama and her mini-poodle came to live with me and my husband. During her time with us no angry accusations of me stealing photographs. My oldest brother helped this brother out during recovery and oldest brother had separated from his wife.

I had to go to Mayo ( a 5 1/2 hour drive one way) for test and a procedure in August and my (AS THE WORLD TURNS soap opera of family) said they could take care of her .. with my niece and her two teens moved in too.. When we got back from Mayo .. Mama said she wanted to stay at her home.

Yep, the angry accusations started sgain. We went to check on her a few days after we got back from Mayo. I had filled Mama’s pill boxes before we left for Mayo. Some pills not taken. They said they didn’t know how to load the pill boxes even though I showed them how and left a sheet there with a time chart. Oldest brother is attached to his phone and I told him he could do like me and set the alarm clock for pill reminders .. no, that is too hard. After Thanksgiving the niece and teens moved back to their home My oldest brother went back to his wife. So my sickly brother was left with Mama. A few days later he called me and said he can't take care of Mama.

Mama did well with us until my brother she lived with died in October 2019 .. my younger sister died in March of 2018. The loss of her children were hard on her. Strokes came more frequently. We hated to, but had to place her in a nursing home. My health was declining too.

I do have another brother.. he lives in Washington State .. not DC .. a long way from Georgia state .. not country. I think he is very wise. … Oh Ziggy still lives with us .. still looks for Mama. He is 14 years old now and in pretty good health.

The reason for the angry accusations about photographs seemed to be Mama not taking her medications properly. One of them was a medication for the dementia. I can't remember the name of it. .. um .. am I doomed to get dementia. ….. (a little organ music .. AS THE WORLD TURNS)

A reconciliation of medication might be needed. The patient's doctor needs to be notified to Make sure medication is being taken properly and making sure it is the correct dosage or maybe a different medication is needed.

ZeeGee

@robertwills

This long .. so you can skip to last two paragraph is you want. 😁

My mom lived with one of my brothers .. he was single. (she passed in 2020) So he was her caregiver to begin with. Mama had dementia from strokes.

I called her just about daily. I am a patient of Mayo Jax. I had had 3 abdominal surgeries (2013, 2014 and 2015) there and the last one was open surgery. It was difficult for me to.. and still is .. to ride long distance and 35 miles one way was too much for me to do very often to see Mama.

A few months after I got my feeding tube removed in October of 2015 Mama started calling me every seven to ten days .. she was angry with me for stealing photographs from her albums. I had not looked at her albums in years. I never stole any. I did borrow one album to make copies of some of the photographs. I returned it in with all photographs.

We had Christmas Eve dinner at her house in 2015 and I (light bulb) understood what was happening. My brother had Mama’s medications on a metal tray .. about 12 bottles or so. He just set the tray in front of her at the table and she took a few medications. I tried to get him to listen to me and put her medications in pill boxes so he could give her her medications properly.

She would run out of her pain medicine and some others she would take when she thought about it. She went to the orthopedist who controlled her pain medication. Because she kept running out he prescribed a pain patch. Her family dr put her on a bp patch. Two medications my brother could handle.

In June 2018 the brother she lived with had to be hospitalized His gallbladder and part of his colon were gangrene. The surgeon said he died during surgery and they revived him. He had a small stroke during surgery. He had c-diff after the surgery and stayed in the hospital a few weeks and then to a nursing home for rehabilitation .

Mama and her mini-poodle came to live with me and my husband. During her time with us no angry accusations of me stealing photographs. My oldest brother helped this brother out during recovery and oldest brother had separated from his wife.

I had to go to Mayo ( a 5 1/2 hour drive one way) for test and a procedure in August and my (AS THE WORLD TURNS soap opera of family) said they could take care of her .. with my niece and her two teens moved in too.. When we got back from Mayo .. Mama said she wanted to stay at her home.

Yep, the angry accusations started sgain. We went to check on her a few days after we got back from Mayo. I had filled Mama’s pill boxes before we left for Mayo. Some pills not taken. They said they didn’t know how to load the pill boxes even though I showed them how and left a sheet there with a time chart. Oldest brother is attached to his phone and I told him he could do like me and set the alarm clock for pill reminders .. no, that is too hard. After Thanksgiving the niece and teens moved back to their home My oldest brother went back to his wife. So my sickly brother was left with Mama. A few days later he called me and said he can't take care of Mama.

Mama did well with us until my brother she lived with died in October 2019 .. my younger sister died in March of 2018. The loss of her children were hard on her. Strokes came more frequently. We hated to, but had to place her in a nursing home. My health was declining too.

I do have another brother.. he lives in Washington State .. not DC .. a long way from Georgia state .. not country. I think he is very wise. … Oh Ziggy still lives with us .. still looks for Mama. He is 14 years old now and in pretty good health.

The reason for the angry accusations about photographs seemed to be Mama not taking her medications properly. One of them was a medication for the dementia. I can't remember the name of it. .. um .. am I doomed to get dementia. ….. (a little organ music .. AS THE WORLD TURNS)

A reconciliation of medication might be needed. The patient's doctor needs to be notified to Make sure medication is being taken properly and making sure it is the correct dosage or maybe a different medication is needed.

ZeeGee

Please don't torment yourself, @ robertwills. There's no rhyme or reason to this. Their brain is broken and they can't make connections in the usual way. Maybe they see you and their brain goes to a place that was always reserved for someone they really didn't like.
A friend of mine told me her mother turned on her completely, but was fine with her sisters. It broke her heart, but she knew her mother was ill.
An old friend visited my dad who had dementia and he told my mother that the friend was an imposter. When he had a stomach ache he told my mother that two men were fighting with sticks inside his stomach. He also used to kick my husband under the kitchen table while muttering "A...hole."
Sadly, that's just how it goes. Not much we can do, but remove ourselves from unpleasant situations and not beat ourselves up.
You are special for what you are doing, your care and concern.

Everyday is a new experience! Sometimes they know you. other times they are not there . The person with their loved one always gets the worse treatment . Sometimes it's meds or just confusion. Sometimes I bring up something unrelated and my spouse starts laughing. It is the hardest thing to do as far as I am concerned. The name calling and getting angry over something you are unable to figure out. Hugs 🫂