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Dealing with adult son with mental health: Parents want to share?
My 39 y. o. son suffered 2 major losses since April 2022 & has never been the same since. He is under the care of a psychiatrist & taking trintellix & adderall which are not helping. Gradually he became more & more isolated and suspicious of all - including his parents. His therapist for 2 years recently started a new position so he has none. And not interested in getting another. I believe he checks off almost every symptom of Paranoid Personality Disorder. I live in the east, he's in the midwest, not married, living alone. I must walk on egg shells with him, an innocent remark becomes an argument. He is never wrong, but everyone else is. Recently we had a blow up over the phone, he didn't like the way I asked him a question, saying I was "abusive"...he now refuses to have any contact with me. He is my only child, our entire lives we have always been so close. His Dad & I are divorced for 17 years. His relationship with him, worse than mine. Hasn't seen him in 1 yr. I am so depressed & heart-broken. I have reached out kindly to him since the blow up & no response. I can't talk to his psychiatrist due to HIPPA laws but thought I could...but he can not talk to me about him. His mental health clinic will not allow it. He did a complete 360 with his life, unrecognizable to everyone who knew & loves him. He is very paranoid. I don't know what to do - how to help him and the longer he doesn't contact me the worse it will be.
This is impacting my entire life...I am 69 y.o. and so very sad my beautiful son has now developed this truly awful personality disorder.
Any thoughts from other Moms going thru this, greatly appreciated.
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Thank you for your support.
How wonderful for you and your husband your son is "living his dream" in Hollywood and you are in constant contact with him. How I wish I could say the same!
But what is very difficult...? the distance away from him?
I have just been told by my elder son that he is seeking help for his mental health and also having a second baby on the way. I feel helpless and also giving him space to deal with it on his own way. What should I do ??
I FEEL YOUR PAIN MY SON IS 21 AND EVERYDAY IS A STRUGGLE I HAVE TO WATCH WHAT I SAY SO HE DOESNT GET UPSET BUT IM HIS MOM AND IF I KICK HIM OUT HE WONT SURVIVE HES NEVER WORKED BECAUSE HES ANTI SOCIAL DOESNT DRIVE BECAUSE AGAIN DOESNT LIKE BEING AROUND PEOPLE HOLIDAYS HE STAYS IN HIS ROOM FAMILY GATHERINGS STAYS HOME I WORRY FOR IF I DIE WHOS GOING TO PUT UP WITH HIM ITS A VERY SAD SITUATION AND A SCARY ONE BUT I PRAY EVERYDAY THAT GOD WILL RESCUE HIM I HAVE FAITH I HOPE THE BEST FOR YOU TOO
So very sorry to hear your son's awful, very sad situation and it's impact on you.
Yes, when our children suffer, no matter their ages, we Moms suffer even more.
I more than understand what you are going through. My son too has ostracized himself from his father's family as well as mine (we are divorced). Not to mention his many friends! The isolation is terrible but he wants it this way...it's a struggle all the time. To make it worse I am on the east coast, he is in the mid-west. So our visits are just a few a year but we do speak on the phone. Hopefully he will make it here for Christmas but he struggles to get to the airport on time, all the time, missing multiple flights (his own fault). You have heard of NAMI? If not, do investigate a local chapter near you as YOU need help to cope with your son.
Get some books on the subject...I have and they can be helpful. In fact, I am seeing a therapist for the SOLE purpose of how to deal with my 40 year old son - who completely did a 360 with his life, now over 2 1/2 years ago. I too am praying non-stop for him...but there has been very little improvement. I do have faith he will change as I do know (you do too) nothing stays the same forever in life. Good goes to bad, bad goes to good eventually - & 'round it goes. The very best to you & your son as well!
@life1, it is good that your son is seeking help. Did you see the helpful replies from @momof374 and @briarrose?
I know that feeling of being helpless and giving him his space. You want to do something. When my daughter was a teenager, I found it helpful to join a parent's group to learn I was not alone. I also read the book "Parenting a Teen Who Has Intense Emotions." There are resources and supports out there to five you tools to know what to say and when.
I realize your son is older than my daughter was when I needed support. Have you considered a parent's group counseling or talking with a therapist?