How do you handle when husband fixated on credit cards?

Posted by bobbisedlmayr @bobbisedlmayr, 4 days ago

I had to take my husbands credit cards away. He was buying products promising cure dementia on automatic delivery. He is furious. I am stealing his cards. He is calling the sheriff. It is his money! I set up a debit card acct with limited funds in. So he has money. He is fixated on this and I cant get him off. I tried redirecting.
Telling him we are not using cards anymore. Anytime I ask if he wants to go grocery shopping. He is at it again. My son made a card to put in his wallet. Saying Dad your credit cards are put away. We are keeping you safe from scammers. Call me if you have questions.
I had our son call his dad. As now his dad is saying he is moving to iowa we r in wis. He has friends there. Etc etc. it is exhausting. Sat he ranted for over two hours. Any suggestions? Dr had upped paroxetine to 40 mg. He was crying continually. The crying has stopped somewhat. But not the anger.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

Sadly, that kind of behavior is quite common. My dad has various versions of it, though it’s intermittent and not as bad as it was earlier on. Seroquel has helped somewhat.

I might ask his doctor about medication for dementia agitation. I recently saw a tv ad for a new one.

And, if he has the means to get to large sums of money, I’d seek legal advice from an attorney about the options to protect the marital assets.

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I have a special bank acct set up for him with limited funds in. So he still has a debit card. Small $$ in acct. But he continues to rant about his cards taken away.
Does seroquel help with agitation like that?

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@bobbisedlmayr

I have a special bank acct set up for him with limited funds in. So he still has a debit card. Small $$ in acct. But he continues to rant about his cards taken away.
Does seroquel help with agitation like that?

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I can’t say exactly how it helps, but it seems to help him not be as compulsive and agitated. He also sleeps more, which is time he is resting snd not compulsively worrying, rubbing his eyes (convinced there is a stick in his eye. There isn’t. We know this after 2 different ophthalmologists have given him complete exams) and stressing over small tasks like sweeping the porch or changing the oil in the car. He intermittently asks about locating his car keys, even though he doesn’t drive. He worries there is a water leak underneath the house. There isn’t. I read that treating the mental anguish is just as important as physical pain, so I intend to explore more options at his upcoming doctor appointment. Based on my experience with my cousin, who died after 6 years with early onset mixed dementia, a certain amount of distress seems inevitable. Eventually, she stopped being insistent about anything. Her verbal communication lessened. This has taken longer with my father. I suspect it’s due to him having Alz and not mixed with another condition. Oh, he also takes Sertraline daily and Xanax for breakthrough anxiety.

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@bobbisedlmayr

I have a special bank acct set up for him with limited funds in. So he still has a debit card. Small $$ in acct. But he continues to rant about his cards taken away.
Does seroquel help with agitation like that?

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I told mine the cards were cloned by scammers, the credit card company closed the accounts, and we're waiting on the new cards. He was also doing the crazy ordering on Amazon.
My daughter's card was cloned and the physical clone presented at a lumber yard by somebody IN PERSON!

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@centre

I told mine the cards were cloned by scammers, the credit card company closed the accounts, and we're waiting on the new cards. He was also doing the crazy ordering on Amazon.
My daughter's card was cloned and the physical clone presented at a lumber yard by somebody IN PERSON!

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Is your name on "his car" registration? You can do that quietly at AAA- he doesn't have to be there in person. Then, when necessary, you can drive the car away, go back to the dealer and sell it them. Takes care if the driving issue. With an angry person with dementia, you tell them what they will accept even if it's not the truth- for ex- collection agencies started calling about old medical debt, we had to pay it right away, whatever.....

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I get the ranting. My husband has still been ranting for the last six weeks because I had to have him surrender his driver license. He is in capable of driving since we just had his eyes examined for cataracts plus he has glaucoma. Not to mention don’t drive with dementia.

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