Caretaker's Humor

Wish we had a laughing emoticon! Thanks for sharing! 😃

We have been asking for one of those!

@billiekip - You brought a smile to my face this morning. I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself, because fall brings out my aches and pains, and this made me laugh. It also reminded me that things could be a lot worse - in spite of medical issues, we are not dealing with memory loss yet, even though it is common in our families.

I am my own caretaker, God help me😎

Being able to laugh is a sign we have not entirely gone around the bend. Here's a new wrinkle on the art of the scam. In a previous post, I mentioned a weasel who almost got me. After leaving a msg with the VA looking for benefits for respite care and caregiver assistance in the house, the phone rang. In my weakened condition, I assumed it was the VA. However, it was a scam artist with timing on his side. As I relayed my sad story, he listened attentively. He must have thought he hit the jackpot. He said he would call back about approval, and he did so three days later. Then, he asked for banking information for direct deposit. In all the extra flurry of a nurse and a bath aide, the additional workload from a catheter in addition to a colostomy, plus more doctor appointments, it never entered my mind that the sympathetic guy with the consoling voice had ill intentions. Fortunately, people in this line of work are not always the brightest bulbs. He called back three weeks later for more info. That's when the light bulb in my head went on. A call to the bank and the VA proved I had been duped. While closing the accounts at the bank, I discovered the scammer had tried to get into my account through online banking using only partially correct information. In my favor, 1) I do not do online banking, and 2) he was inept. The added work of closing the accounts and informing institutions that do direct deposit has been a doozy, as has the paperwork from the real VA to get us into the system. I have been tested, and I was almost broken. We all have a limit, no matter how much we would like to believe we are the exception. -- After almost three months, that catheter seems like a permanent item in our lives, and YES, it sometimes leaks. The carpet cleaner is on permanent call. The better news is the VA was terrific and timely. We have been approved for respite care (30 days a year in a VA care facility if I chose to take advantage) and 16 hrs per week for in-home care. Those who have read my previous posts know I am 87, and my dear boy is 93. I can't tell you what relief it is to know that additional help is coming. It seems the assistance from Jen and Kayla, who clean and do odd jobs, is insufficient. I can now prepare for the next phase of this journey. -- When we were at the VA, the urine in the bag was "Deep Purple," which promoted some jolly references to the song. At the moment, there was amusement, but I'm not sure how much amusement will be in the future. One day at a time. Find those moments that bring humor into your lives. And for those to whom it may apply, contact the VA. The paperwork is worth it. GloRo

Good for you to catch it in time!!!

Gloro, you are a wonderful mentor and source of courage, thank you! We have just received notice of some VA help and still plowing the path of discovery but you are right, the paperwork is worth it.

Boppi, a hug or a helpful always lightens the spirits, but you took the time to reply. It means so much to me. Last week, I was down; this week, I am a warrior. I am sure the only people who understand the toll these emotional swings take are those of us in the trenches. -- Something funny to share with you if you appreciate black humor. During the meeting with the VA doctor, my husband's son, a kid 58, sat in. At one point, he tried to put a more positive spin on his father's dementia. {Only those who live this 24/7 understand. } Softly, I said to him, "You do remember why we are here?" Oh, those who refuse to see what is right under their noses. But, in support of him wanting to see his Dad as still a strong person, I don't think I was any better noticing my Mother's decline, even though I was in my 60s and lived with her. The doctor's assessment was more objective. -- Tomorrow, there is an interview with a home care agency. I hope that I can get back to my writing group. After two months of nothing, a poem popped out of nowhere a few days ago. A little something to keep me going. -- Stay strong. GloRo

hi gloro, lilyann here. you are a treasure.

I came very close to having a mental breakdown over my spouse developing dementia. Could not sleep, extreme anxiety (there is a joke in here, hold on). So I. tell my psychologist I'm dealing with five problems, one of which is I'm suspecting my wife has dementia and there isn't anything I know how to do to help it. I'm explaining what I do that I don't argue and I go along with it and I ask her questions. And I think she is understanding and we have these meaningful five minute conversations about her memory issues. Like she really understands. And then he says, "But she doesn't remember you had the conversation about memory fifteen minutes later, right?" And I say, "Yeah, your right, she doesn't remember what we just talked about." We both kind of laughed. It was an insight that had humor.

Hi All, The last three weeks have been a real roller coaster. My husband has been seen by his regular oncologist and urologist, along with a doctor and an audiologist from the VA. The paperwork and digital sign-ins required seemed like punishment for doing the right thing. The hours spent driving and sitting in waiting rooms seemed like an imposition on my old body. All that disruption to our normal has exacerbated my darling' boy's confusion. We have barely moved this weekend, going from one nap to the next. Of course, all that fatigue during the day has brought us nights without sleep. My poor guy is back to forgetting he has a catheter and wants to get out of bed to urinate during the night. When I couldn't take it any longer, I got up for an internet search to find out what I might have in the house to safely give him. Melatonin was the suggestion. When I returned to bed at 2:30 a.m. with info I knew would have no effect, I was greeted by a Good Morning, Honey. While I was gone, he figured out how to move the chairs, known as the Great Wall of China in our household, to keep him in bed during the night. He was eager for breakfast. If this recap of our last three weeks isn't the height of ridiculousness, I don't know what would be. -- All this activity has confirmed the cancer near the bladder is still near the bladder. The bladder and urethra are heavily scarred from old radiation treatments, and that catheter we came to grips with is a permanent part of our lives. -- As for tomorrow, the health care the VA doctor authorized starts. I am excited while also trying to figure out how to utilize the help best and become accustomed to turning strangers into trusted assistants. I would have liked to ease into this new arrangement quietly, but my darling boy's daughter and her husband insisted on being helpful for a long weekend visit starting Thursday. For comic relief, on Wednesday, before they come, he will have a tooth pulled before it creates a problem. -- Why am I not freaking out? I think exhaustion has mixed with curiosity and created a new chemical in my brain. I desperately want to know if two sleepy ancients and two supposedly helpful houseguests can stay out of the way of a care person intent on bringing order to mayhem during her 6-hour shift. It is a question for the ages. -- While barely moving in my LaZBoy, I have added the caregiver's schedule to the calendar and made a list of appointments that must be changed tomorrow morning to accommodate our new normal. Much like having the A/C or the furnace checked out before the season of their need, I think of all this extra work as being prepared for the day I will enjoy being cooled or warmed. However, I am dreaming about dreaming without any interruptions. Stay Strong. GloRo