Aren't you tired of living and waiting for things to get better?

Wonderful attitude refers to "just judy's" comments. Forgot to reference her. Kay

Dont let them win! Dont give up.I know its hard, my husband is a Narcissist and has mild dementia. He sucks the life out of everything, including me. But I just have to have hope. Find something that gave you joy, whether its music, reading, whatever brings you some peace, and lets your mind escape for awhile. If you can, find the strength to start a plan to make things better. That alone can bring you some hope. Just keep trying. You can change the situation and all these people are here for you. Therapists never did work for me, but thats me.

dfb: Since you mentioned God, I will mention Him, too.
He IS the source of all peace and He IS our help.
We wrestle with ourselves, others and yes, Gods enemies… the ones Hes created, both spiritual and flesh.
He created us, He knows us, He loves us and He has a plan for us.
Here's the thing: we are co-laborers With Him.
If you want freedom from despair and want His Hope and Healing, its there for the asking.

Your part will be to pray to Him and pour your heart out to Him and to Read His Truth in the Bible.
If you dont have one, get one.
Ask Him for what you need.
Then start reading a psalm in the morning and a proverb at night. Keep a notebook with you and write what speaks to you. Ask God to give you His wisdom. Ask Him to teach you what He wants you to learn.
Sit quietly and listen.

Then go outside an look at all the beauty around you. Focus on creation. Look at the ordinary as extraordinary.
Try to discipline your thoughts to All things good.

Then write about your experiences; noting all GOOD revelations.
Your mind and heart are weary. There’s hope! Because God created both and since Hes the manufacturer, HE has the remedy.
He loves you and created you for His purpose. EVEN in the pain. Yes, its true. Hes mindful of your pain.

Place youself into His hands. He WILL guide you, comfort you and lead you. To do that, read His Word.
Thats a lamp unto your feet!
Blessings to you. ❤️❤️❤️

So hard. I get it. I keep going to therapy and force myself to do things. I have to just believe it gets easier and find small things to be grateful for like indoor plumbing or a purple light in a window. It doesn’t help much I know. I’m so sorry. I wish you the absolute best and hope you find some depression lift.

hi elkre 1211, I also have bad depression my tablets aren't working . spoken to Dr last week says that too many side effects with higher dosage.i finally got a social worker.

@esikora Life is so funny, isn't it? I was feeling down this morning, so I searched for info and found this discussion. I just turned 64 on Aug 26 and just 9 days before that, my son, who was 38, died from the cancer that was diagnosed in Jan 2023. We (my whole family) fought it for 20 months and now it seems like our hope was foolish. I thought I was handling it well, knowing about the stages of grief, but the anger is apparently still raging. As I read the posts, I wondered if it would do me any good to hear about other people's problems because they are depressing. I felt some compassion, but also anger and some cynicism. I wanted to relate, but at the same time, I didn't want to relate. It's so weird. Part of me wanted to write something like you wrote, and I might have, had I not read yours. Then I was glad that @gingerw replied to you and was very relieved that you came back and apologized... not because you were wrong to have said it; you weren't. You expressed what you felt and also what I felt, so I didn't have to. That is part of what this forum is for, right? I was relieved because I would have been embarrassed and sorry if I had expressed what I felt. So your apology made me relate in a way that actually made me feel better. Thank you.

Hello @drteddy and welcome to Mayo Connect. First, let me say how sorry I am to hear of your son's death. The loss of a child is one of the most difficult losses to endure. The range of emotions that you expressed in your post is common among the grieving.

I would encourage you to find a place for support. A grief support group would be a good place to start. On Connect, we have a support group for those who have experienced loss. Here is a link to those discussions,
--Loss and Grief
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/?pg=2#discussion-listview
The first post in this group is found at this link and it is a good place to start,
--Loss and Grief, how are you doing?
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/loss-and-grief-how-are-you-doing/
I would encourage you to read through the discussions in this group and find a place to talk about your son and your grief. As you share this loss with others, it will help you.

How are your other family members doing with their grief?

Thank you Teresa @hopeful33250. I found the Loss and Grief discussion page and replied to
"Child loss and coming to terms with life never being the same."
My wife and I are currently at our younger son's house in San Antonio TX. We only had 2 children and he is doing about the same as we are... keeping it together but clearly suffering. He has a wife and 3 kids so that responsibility gives him strength and courage. My late son is survived by his wife and 3 sons. The youngest was having the hardest time when we left there and the others seem to be hanging in there pretty well. They are very active in school, band and athletics, so that helps them tremendously. We are all driving back to Virginia on Sep 21 for a celebration of life, so we will see them again then.

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your son. There is no greater loss than the loss of a child...
And if anything I wrote made you feel the least bit better about anything, I am deeply touched.
Peace.

YOU MADE ME SMILE...thanks for your thoughtfulness! The devil oftn jumps on my shoulder as I awake but folks like you make me smile as I approach 91 next week and give thanks for this chance to meet wonderful folks like you!