Alzheimers and sexual behavior: Any suggestions?

Posted by terrilynne @terrilynne, Jul 30, 2023

My hubby has Alzheimer's and has become hypersexual. He is on meds which have helped a bit. The problem is that he constantly wants to have sex and be sexual. This does not happen outside the home. He starts first thing in the morning wanting to "play around". He is constantly asking me for sex. We enjoy a healthy sex life but he doesn't remember and thinks I am denying him. He is now getting angry when I say no or later or tomorrow. I am sure others have experienced this with their loved ones. Any suggestions? I am getting desperate.

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I came to this topic looking for help, too. Sorry to say I don't have any to offer. I am asked to have sex of some nature daily, and sometimes more than that. He doesn't remember the asking or the doing -- I sometimes comply but it is actually no fun, if not annoying. I hate that it hurts him. Sometimes I think I just need to keep his mind busy and I do think that helps but how to cope with this ongoing theme is what I need help with. Maybe there is no answer. He takes no meds for dementia/Alz--previous ones have failed or had side effects. I often wonder if denying him will result in some sort of anger but it hasn't so far.

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I am so glad my husband doesn't do this. A few years ago, before dementia symptoms appeared, he would take 'the little blue pill' to aid him, and I dreaded accommodating him. He would have trouble reaching 'the conclusion' and would spend several painful minutes (for me) trying. Finally, after my having to see a gyn for spotting, I denied him sex. He doesn't ask any more.
Maybe you could ask your hubby's doctor for something to suppress your husband's urges? I recall reading in some article about this problem that you might have to lock your bedroom door at night.
I hope you can find some relief from this problem.

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@talkingbird

I came to this topic looking for help, too. Sorry to say I don't have any to offer. I am asked to have sex of some nature daily, and sometimes more than that. He doesn't remember the asking or the doing -- I sometimes comply but it is actually no fun, if not annoying. I hate that it hurts him. Sometimes I think I just need to keep his mind busy and I do think that helps but how to cope with this ongoing theme is what I need help with. Maybe there is no answer. He takes no meds for dementia/Alz--previous ones have failed or had side effects. I often wonder if denying him will result in some sort of anger but it hasn't so far.

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I have no solution other than a paper calendar and stick-on gold stars. After an encounter, have him add the star, so you can point out to him how busy he has been all month. I do think that it is part of the unraveling of his tether; a desperate grasp at keeping connected to a spouse. I remember seeing people chasing each other around, giggling, like in a school yard but with adult gestures. This was at an ALZ facility I was visiting for my mother in law decades ago. The social filter has faded or is gone completely. Since reasoning is also on the way out the door, I'm not sure if the golden glimmer on your calendar will convince your husband that he indeed has had many romps, but you can try.

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