Introductions: Are you caring for someone with dementia?

Here is a more detailed introduction to me and my situation. I have been caring for my Mother for almost 8 years now. Mom’s dementia has progressed from repeating herself endlessly to a point I wanted to run head first into a wall, to where we are now. She is in good physical shape outside of the dementia and her lack of strength and balance. She still walks but only while holding on to someone’s hands, she is bent so far forward that I fear she will fall on her head any minute. I work, so we have a paid care giver come into the house gets her up and ready for the bus to take her to day care where she spends 4 hours a day during the week. Mom does not miss a trick, she is very alert to what is going on around here. She is easy to get along with and seems happy in any situation she is in, she is not frightened or uneasy at all. The care giver returns to our house and gets Mom off the bus and stays with her until I get home from work. In the evening it’s just Mom and me, and the 16 year old dog! Mom does not speak much and when she does her words are unrelated, so communication is a problem. She will feed herself maybe 60% of the time, we feed her as well. She doesn’t toilet herself or let us know when she needs to go. She likes Mylar Balloons and folding cloth napkins. She can’t get up from the bed or chair, we have to lift her to a standing position. I have NO idea how I will manage her when she can’t walk anymore. At that point I’m not sure I will be able to manage her at home at all, hate that thought! Any tips on that condition would be greatly appreciated!! We have a lift recliner and a hospital type bed for her. At night I put down a rubber mat beside her bed just in case she tries to get up, I think we are beyond that, but you never know. She has started to put inappropriate items in her mouth, crayons, and parts of stuffed toys. I put together a “work board” for her that sits across the arm rests of her chair, which holds all of her toys and stuff to keep her busy.

Take Care,

@tsoy

Thank you for your information. When the time comes to get someone to help at home, such as a paid caregiver, to enable the main caregiver to run errands, keep appointments, etc., how do you find someone for that service? We live outside of a small town. Is there some sort of agency? Is there a choice? What if the person you get is not a good match - for instance, if there are trust issues or if your vulnerable adult finds the substitute caregiver irritating?

@tsoy

Thank you for your information. When the time comes to get someone to help at home, such as a paid caregiver, to enable the main caregiver to run errands, keep appointments, etc., how do you find someone for that service? We live outside of a small town. Is there some sort of agency? Is there a choice? What if the person you get is not a good match - for instance, if there are trust issues or if your vulnerable adult finds the substitute caregiver irritating?

Hey There,

I just joined, I care for my soon to be 94 year old Mother with dementia, I’d say late stage at this point. Since ideas and plans you put into action today may not work tomorrow, I think a site/group like this can be helpful to share ideas and methods of coping with issues. That is why I joined. I know I wish I had been more clever sooner, you can’t think of everything, so ideas will work for one person and not for another. For intendance, over a year ago my Mother got up during the night and opened the front door, the next day I installed a dead bolt with a key on each side. She was having trouble finding her bathroom at night, which was literally 10 steps from her bed, so I installed a string of those tube lights on the bathroom wall leading to the toilet. Now we are using doggie poop bags for Mom’s soiled briefs, it really controls to odder. Wish I had thought of that one months ago! Anyway I’m looking forward to getting more, better ideas for copping here.

Today is a bad day ...He has argued with me sense he got up , non stop about silly things such as how to frame a picture he has , its of an eagle and a wildlife pic so I suggested not having matting around it , but he insist and I don't really care so dropped it , but he an hr later is still going on and obsessing about it ...he says he is going to take a nap but has been up sense he has said that and non stop eating, I tried distraction and that didn't work , his mind is set on non stop food , food , food, ugh so frustrating ! He also has brought up things I cannot do anything about over and over again from the past ??? Like me not filing for disability myself , I didn't file because I have needed to take care of him with my fibro and it hurts like heck but I manage, and if I wanted to get caretaker fee I cannot file for it myself but he has gone on and on about how I should have and we would have money if I would have , and etc. over and over again , I told him he is obsessing about it and that its over with I didn't and we cant change it , but he wont stop telling me how stupid I am , His FTD is terrible today ...any suggestions appreciated .

Today is a bad day ...He has argued with me sense he got up , non stop about silly things such as how to frame a picture he has , its of an eagle and a wildlife pic so I suggested not having matting around it , but he insist and I don't really care so dropped it , but he an hr later is still going on and obsessing about it ...he says he is going to take a nap but has been up sense he has said that and non stop eating, I tried distraction and that didn't work , his mind is set on non stop food , food , food, ugh so frustrating ! He also has brought up things I cannot do anything about over and over again from the past ??? Like me not filing for disability myself , I didn't file because I have needed to take care of him with my fibro and it hurts like heck but I manage, and if I wanted to get caretaker fee I cannot file for it myself but he has gone on and on about how I should have and we would have money if I would have , and etc. over and over again , I told him he is obsessing about it and that its over with I didn't and we cant change it , but he wont stop telling me how stupid I am , His FTD is terrible today ...any suggestions appreciated .

@tsoy

Thank you for your information. When the time comes to get someone to help at home, such as a paid caregiver, to enable the main caregiver to run errands, keep appointments, etc., how do you find someone for that service? We live outside of a small town. Is there some sort of agency? Is there a choice? What if the person you get is not a good match - for instance, if there are trust issues or if your vulnerable adult finds the substitute caregiver irritating?

@tsoy

Thank you for your information. When the time comes to get someone to help at home, such as a paid caregiver, to enable the main caregiver to run errands, keep appointments, etc., how do you find someone for that service? We live outside of a small town. Is there some sort of agency? Is there a choice? What if the person you get is not a good match - for instance, if there are trust issues or if your vulnerable adult finds the substitute caregiver irritating?