Legal Issues and Responsibilities

@billiekip First of all, I commend you for trying to preserve as much normality and independence as you can for your husband. And even more for having found a way to "let him go" and keep him safe at the same time!

What was the basis for your friend's warning? Has she actually experienced this herself, in your state, so she knows first hand? If not, I would use the same response as one would use when parrying unsolicited fashion, job or medical advice. It would be "Thanks for your concern. The family and I have worked out a plan to keep him safe and happy. If the situation changes, we will adjust, but for now this is what works best for him." Polite, concise, no room for "But..." arguments. Then smile and change the subject.

(I am writing this as my cousin with memory loss just went out the door, tagged cell-phone and water bottle in hand, for a walk in our slightly unfamiliar neighborhood.) I'll find her if she is not back in 30 minutes. By all means, we preserve autonomy when and how we can.

@billiekip You can always count on @sueinmn who has some great ideas with the experience to go with them. But, if your concern continues, you can always ask the police. Usually communities have a neighborhood safety officer. You might just find out your rights before you need to use them.

It’s a valid concern, though I’d be concerned more with things other than falls. Falls are something that can be guarded from but not prevented. Restricting someone who has not been deemed legally incompetent can be challenging. I might consult with an attorney in your area to get advice.

@celia16 I like the idea of the tags/apps, but what if the person sets their phone down, or leaves it somewhere, forgetting it? I suppose the tag on the keys/things they definitely never lose or set down (maybe attached to a belt loop?) is more reassuring.

There is only so much we can do, I realize, but the added insurance of a "neighborhood safety officer", as well as a safe/familiar 55+ community with boundaries adds to the peace of mind and monitored independence of a loved one.

I am not facing this issue with my own family now, but I do wonder if it happened that I'm the one with the cognitive issues what can be prepared for.

Well wishes to all for such thoughtful, smart planning and compassion.

My dad hasn’t left the property without our knowledge, but it’s likely due to his weak legs and poor balance. He has very poor mobility. I have thought about a door alarm that beeps when the door opens. If he were more mobile, I would consider that.

Bedtime is a ritual of steps, the first is for my husband to empty his pockets of 4 things: wallet, key, wallet and comb. They are placed on his bedside table each night. Then bedtime procedures continue. Reverse, in the morning after dressing, the first thing to do is put the 4 things in his pocket. I know he has no memory, but he does cooperate when I am there guiding him. The phone has a friend finder ap and the key has an Air tag tracer. I am going to look into a medical bracelet he said he would wear. Routines do help solve issues.