Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself

Hi, I’m mnina. I cared for my grandmother for the last year before she passed from Dementia and other complications. My husband I have cared for during the past 4 plus years, he is in palliative care with terminal cancer, he has almost passed 4 times in the past four years, with 2 of those times being just this past December. I’m an expat American from California, living in Australia. In the wee hours of the night, when I felt so alone and scared , I stumbled onto this incredible support system through the Mayo Clunic newsletter I received by email. IndianaScott was so helpful as were the others. I could say what I was feeling and didn’t feel so alone and guilty. They are hoping to set up something like this here by 2019. Unpaid Carers are worth 2 billion dollars to the government here, so they are investing in services. We do work! We work 24/7, unless we have respite. I don’t even like when I hear people say “ so how have you been out of work?”. That’s a fallacy that needs to be changed. I look forward to being a part of this community and thank you for being there. I wish you all peace and good self care, on this very difficult road, one day at a time.

Hi, I’m mnina. I cared for my grandmother for the last year before she passed from Dementia and other complications. My husband I have cared for during the past 4 plus years, he is in palliative care with terminal cancer, he has almost passed 4 times in the past four years, with 2 of those times being just this past December. I’m an expat American from California, living in Australia. In the wee hours of the night, when I felt so alone and scared , I stumbled onto this incredible support system through the Mayo Clunic newsletter I received by email. IndianaScott was so helpful as were the others. I could say what I was feeling and didn’t feel so alone and guilty. They are hoping to set up something like this here by 2019. Unpaid Carers are worth 2 billion dollars to the government here, so they are investing in services. We do work! We work 24/7, unless we have respite. I don’t even like when I hear people say “ so how have you been out of work?”. That’s a fallacy that needs to be changed. I look forward to being a part of this community and thank you for being there. I wish you all peace and good self care, on this very difficult road, one day at a time.

Welcome to Connect, Ben @tingkun55. I'm so glad you've joined this group, and I'm sure you'll receive a warm welcome from Mentor @IndianaScott and the other members as well. I particularly like your last statement about, "hearing from folks of different ethnic backgrounds and exploring cultural and generational factors in caregiving."
I'm the moderator for Connect groups this weekend, and coincidentally, I'm originally from India! Although I don't have any experience in caregiving, I do have extended family, who've been in the States for many years, and I'm very aware of the cultural differences in caregiving.

In India, caregiving is very different from formal caregiving here. You stay with your parents as a child, as a college student, and after employment. After marriage, the son stays with the parents, and the daughter-in-law moves in, adjusting to the in-laws. A daughter, conversely, moves out after marriage to her in-laws place.

As parents age and/or disability sets in, if they were living separately, they move in with the children or vice versa. Putting parents in an"old age home" is not acceptable, and looked upon with shame. Usually, the eldest son is the “privileged” person to look after the parents. This is not universal, but very typical in the Indian culture, and completely normal. Plus, with extremely limited alternative facilities or support systems, family members prefer to care for their loved ones at all stages of illness, at home.

In my opinion, those can be positive aspects of our culture. On the other hand, caregiving in india is not recognized as a skill or a profession. The family is supposed to take it in its stride, and more often than not, it is the women who have to give up their careers to do the caregiving at home. Discussions on topics such as caregiving costs are taboo.

However, with societal changes, there have been more demands for support to family caregivers; especially from families who have lived away from home, say in the States, and then return home. There is more more visibility for caregiving as people are understanding the complexity and stress of this role. That being said, I will mention that if it weren't for having my younger brother living in Bombay with our parents, along with his wife and kids, I would have probably tried my best to arrange for them to come here as they grow older.

@tingkun55, we look forward to getting to know you, and hearing more about your mother and her progress. Thanks for posting such an insightful topic.

My significant other has pancreatic cancer. He has gotten so sick after the radiation treatmentsexter and chemo, which caused a heart Attack. We have chosen to stop treatment. 2 months ago. He now has bouts of lack of oxygen. Has anyone else experienced this.

My significant other has pancreatic cancer. He has gotten so sick after the radiation treatmentsexter and chemo, which caused a heart Attack. We have chosen to stop treatment. 2 months ago. He now has bouts of lack of oxygen. Has anyone else experienced this.

My significant other has pancreatic cancer. He has gotten so sick after the radiation treatmentsexter and chemo, which caused a heart Attack. We have chosen to stop treatment. 2 months ago. He now has bouts of lack of oxygen. Has anyone else experienced this.

Hello!