I have been caregiver for almost two years now as my main man has very short-term memory for quite some time now and he has diabetes and is blind in the right eye and his vision is failing in the left eye as well. He becomes very frustrated at times and i try and be very patient with his mood changes as depression sets in as well. We have been married since 1999 and i have such fine memories when we were both healthier and my husband could drive and we would take those special country drives together or just go out for coffee. It hasn't been easy a lot of the time being the main caregiver but my husband is a very kind and good person and it isn't his fault he has poor health at the age of 80. I shall be here until the end comes and never turn away from my soul mate, my husband.

Hello @tcphonehome Nice to e-meet you here at Mayo Connect! I am sorry to read of your husband's healthcare journey and yours as a caregiver. You sound very much in love with your main man and that is so nice to read! I believe it is love, which fuels much, if not all, of what we as caregivers do! I also agree with you that as caregivers one of the tougher aspects is while we are with our loved one everyday, we cannot help but remember 'the better times'. I did it with my wife frequently and now that she's gone I miss those early days, when we were a healthy couple, and did the simple, everyday things. Funny how I think back and it is not to the trips we took or the fancy parties we attended, but the everyday things, which I know now were what bought us close in the first place! I miss all those so much --- as you do with your partner!

I lost the vision and hearing on my right side in December to a stroke, so I can also commiserate with your husband. I hope his sight in his one eye continues as best as can be hoped for.

You are also correct when you say "it hasn't been easy a lot of the time being the main caregiver..." Caregiving ain't for wimps that is for sure! Love may fuel us, but it is an amazing inner strength that pulls us through on the toughest of days! I also like to say this: There are no superheros in caregiving. Superman and Wonder Woman only exist in the comic books! We each can only do the best we can!

Thanks for posting and be sure to keep in touch! Caregiving can also be very isolating and Connect can help bust that isolation down at least electronically!

Strength, courage, and peace!

Mom is 93. I am her only child. I stay with her at nights and have for 4 years. I have care givers with her during the days and some evenings. I leave her house at 7 and go to my
Home and get ready for work. I have no children. I have to get up 2 times a night to help
Mom to bathroom. The broken sleep is rough. I'm considering looking for an assisted living facility for mom but not sure she'd do well there. I'm tired all the time

Hi @braves11 and welcome to the caregivers group. I know that @IndianaScott and others can relate to the challenges of interrupted sleep while caring for a family member. It must make it tough to stay focused at work.

Not sure I'm on your list but have written before. My husband is in hospice, very expensive. Any thoughts?

Hello @braves11 I am @IndianaScott who @colleenyoung referred to in her response to your post. I am sorry I did not see your post until now! Sorry for the delay in responding to such an important and unfortunately frequent issue with caregivers of interrupted sleep!

You are totally correct in how debilitating interrupted sleep can be for caregivers! Throughout her life my wife was never a sound sleeper and often would be up at odd hours. Unfortunately this really heightened with her disease progression. We were told by her neuro doctors that personalities of brain damaged individuals, which in her case was caused by her cancer, can exacerbate existing personality traits.

I know each individual's healthcare journey is unique, but in my wife's case for the last year plus she needed medicines first twice a night, then up to every two hours round the clock. My sleep pattern disturbance was a tough one to manage and I am still not back to a regular sleep pattern.

I am no medical professional, but having lived through caregiving, perhaps having someone come in a couple nights a week to do night duty would help? Or maybe weekend nights to give yourself a break and a chance to get a couple solid nights' sleep.

Decisions such as alternative care are never easy ones, but as I also like to say "Superheros only exist in comic books! Even Superman and Wonder Woman weren't ever caregivers!"

One great thing about Mayo Connect is how many folks have gone through similar caregiving situations and perhaps someone here can chime in about making decisions to move their loved one to a care facility.

I send you strength, courage, and peace!

Hello @minnesota From your screen name I am guessing we may be in the same state right now! "Enjoying" 90 degree temps up here in the north woods already!

You are indeed 'on the list' here at Mayo Connect and a part of the Caregivers discussion group.

My wife made the decision for home hospice care when it was prescribed by her neuro-oncologist. He thought it would be a two month-six month situation and she fought on for 14 months, I agree with you that hospice care can be expensive, but at the same time it was one of the very best healthcare decisions my wife ever made and I thank her doctor for fighting the good fight to get her GP to accept his prescription for hospice. She wanted the home option so we did that.

Most of the other patients in hospice at the time my wife was were either covered by Medicare or Medicaid. She was too young for Medicare and until the ACA (Obamacare) was introduced we were without health insurance since I was unemployed and the only private insurance I could find would have cost us $98,000 a year due to her preexisting cancer. I am still paying off the last of her bill from that first six months. I also will say we gave up a lot, but never regretted the choice of hospice care as it bought much

If you have insurance, do you have any coverage for hospice in your insurance? We had two organizations offering hospice care in our home community in Indiana and I did also learn their costs were a bit different for each. Is your husband a veteran? I believe the VA has some hospice benefits too, but do not know that for sure.

I guess rather than going on and on here, I should simply ask what have you looked into to try and get some financial support for the cost of your husband's hospice care?

Strength, courage, and peace!

Hello Dorothy. What stage is husb in? Mine is hard to judge. His started with not finding his words and now is not able to express at all. Very difficult not being able to understand his,needs. I guess a lot.

Thankyou indianascott. Husb just started being mean. It helps to hear your touching way to deal with it. So much of your post is how I feel and react to people and my husb. Thanks

Good for you. We've been married almost 58 yrs. I'm in it for the long hall but like the most of us I didn't sign up for this. Primary Progressive Aphasia with Alzheimer's is just as hard on the patient.