Say something? Say nothing? looking for advice.

I think it’s a judgment call. I tend to not call attention to when my Dad does or says something that is repetitive, because he won’t recall it and it won’t make any difference in 5 minutes. But, it’s difficult to hold back or I think he is embarrassing himself.

My parents had the gas company come and fill the tank and light pilot light..,I was surprised and upset. No way my dad needs to be allowed to manage gas fire logs. What was my mom thinking? I asked the rep about safety features and wasn’t satisfied with the answer. Later, my brother came and shut it off. I think they are done with gas logs.

I have learned that it is better to say nothing as long as it’s not embarrassing to people around him don’t understand. Or you can give them a look for talk later.
I have found that many people even if they know they have Alzheimer’s will still correct the person, and this is frustrating for me to see.

While probably not for everyone, very early on, my wife's neurologist said to us "Remember her brain is now 'broken'. Logic will no longer work and anger, most often, will make situations worse."

Acceptance of this was hard but incredibly helpful for our family.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

Thank you, Scott…part of me thought maybe he needs to be aware, so we can discuss and plan…but then I felt so bad. (Still a diagnosis of MCI)

And I wasn’t angry, nor was he…but he did get very quiet. 😢

Very much appreciate your comments!!

When I cared for my cousin, who had dementia, I tried to help her feel better by consoling her. I’d say, No one has perfect memory or no one has a perfect bladder. Things happen. It’s ok. Everyone has this. Don’t fret over it. We’ll take care of it. It seemed to reassure her. She often told the staff at the Memory Care unit that she a great support system! I wondered how she remembered that fact. Hmmmm….

My Dad’s not at her stage yet and doesn’t respond to reassurances the way she did..yet.

Hugs to you for caring for both family members suffering from this horrible disease.

Thank you. My cousin passed away after 6 years of vascular dementia. My heart goes out to all caregivers and family members who deal with this. It’s brutal.

My husband has been diagnosed with MCI. When he starts telling me things he just told me, two or more times, I worked out a system where I hold up fingers. If he's already told me once I hold up one finger, told me twice, two fingers, etc. The only reason I do this is so he doesn't waste his breath telling me something again and again. When he sees my finger or fingers up, he just stops his story. He's not embarrassed, he just responds, "oh" and stops talking (he doesn't feel bad, just carries on with what he was doing).

Wonderful plan! Easier on you both, I would think. Thank you for sharing this, Judi!

2me - I have the same dilemma daily with my husband. He gets very quiet when I correct him or let him know what he has done or said repeatedly. I too get upset with myself when I do this. I’m very slowly learning to let it go when we are alone. And trying very hard to not point it out when we are with others. These are difficult times and my heart goes out to all of us who are watching the decline of our loved ones - and also to our loved ones who are still aware of their memory problems. It hurts my husband to know that I am irritated with him so I am trying to be kinder by making it my mission to be his protector, not his corrector. 💕