Preparing to Age in Place

Any suggestions on how to approach a friend who is 4'9" tall and younger than I am; she does not need grab bars. We have regular meetings in at her house - she's the pres. of the organization. I need grab bars in the bathroom. She does not need grab bars. Her home is some 30 minutes from my home; simply "waiting" until I get home is not an option. Plus her home was built with very low toilets. They are no more than 12 inches, and possibly only 10 inches from the floor. There is no need for her to change toilets, but I'd much like the addition of a grab bar.

Can you offer your house for meetings? Sometimes it is hard to find the help you need, don't be embarassed by it. The other option may be Zoom so you can be part of the meeting without being physically present. Good Luck.

I failed to mention that I'm the only one who drives any distance to the meeting; that is why it is held where it is - everyone else lives w/in a very short distance of the Pres's home. I'm about 25 minutes away. It is not realistic for me to suggest that 8 to 10 people drive 25 minutes to my home when I'm the only one who needs to drive any distance to the area where they all live.
Your second suggestion may just be a winner. Because I live at some distance from the others, and the meeting is already held on Zoom for one member who lives part of the year out of state, it will be easy for me to join in on Zoom.
And in reply to another who suggested I simply talk candidly with my friend, the home owner, in the manner of, "What can we do about this?" seems to solve the issue for not only me but also for other people who use her guest bath and are confronted with a very, very low toilet. I think I can approach her in this manner. Thanks for the suggestions.

Hi Joan - I have been thinking about your question since yesterday, and am glad to see all the suggestions you have gotten. While Zoom is certainly a possibility, it is always more fun to be "in the room" as so much goes on that you miss when only a few are remote.

I have an idea for you - when you approach your friend with an eye towards problem-solving, maybe you could suggest a portable, folding toilet safety rails (fits over commode) or, if sufficient, a removable toilet seat riser. Either should be available for under $40-60 and can be removed and stored when your group is not present. Maybe you could offer to pay for it?

Another option, which we used often when traveling with my Mom, was an old-style folding walker (without wheels.) We would place it backwards over the toilet and it provided a safe way to get up and down.

I am 93 and still living in my own home. Fortunately, my son was living alone (he is 67) and decided to move in with me. A cople of thngs that have helped in this transition are my Grabber , sock helper, long shoe horn, and lotion applier. I have both hips and knees, and a shoulder replacement along with 3 fractured vetebraes (ostoporosis and arthritis). These tools have been great, but be sure and try them out before purchase there is a wide difference in these tools. I also have a lift chair,, helps a lot in getting up and down (so far no wheel chair).
I also purchased a small flip phone with an emergency buttun. I have a small carrying case and hook it to my belt. It is a great phone, but it is also great if I have a fall or other emergency, but I can still use the phone for regular calls. Hope this may be of some help
Gina5009

@edsutton I seem to remember answering this question awhile ago. Back then, my future looked bright but things have quickly made a turn.

We never know when our plans will be disrupted and mine have been hijacked by several diseases at once. The worst, Alzheimer’s dementia has thrown my future off sideways, and around the corner! Figuring out where I’m going to spend my last years is a heart wrenching decision. So is the thought of spending all my money for my care.

My faith tells me that I am in the gentle hands of my Savior, Jesus Christ. He is guiding me through this as He always has for everything. He will heal me whether it’s here or in the glorious future. Amen!

@SusanEllen66 Life is never predictable! I'm sorry you're facing the diagnosis of dementia.

Faith in God, thankfulness for his love and care, meditating on the Word, and having peace are proven to have positive effects on many prognoses. I don't want to think where I would be without those things.

I encourage you to continue practicing your faith. The old saying is still true - Prayer Changes Things.

Having hope isn't denial. It isn't helpful to pretend that nothing is wrong. I see in your message that you already understand that. Trusting in God for the outcome increases our peace of mind in this life. Anticipating an eternity with a new body is worth celebrating!

A song from a children's musical about King Jehoshaphat came to mind. A prophet told him, "Don't be afraid. The battle is not yours, but it's God's." And another phrase from the Bible has been helpful to me during times of uncertainty and anxiety - Fear not, for I am with you.

Blessings to you.

Jim

I am confused, if I gave the impression that I am facing dementia. Thank God that is not one of my problems at this time in my life. Everything still seems to be functioning well in that department.
Gina 500 9