Hospice for COPD and Alzheimers or take him to treat cancer

Posted by norram @norram, Jul 24 3:21pm

My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and COPD four years ago. There are times his COPD drops to 84. For the past two years he has been enrolled in hospice at home. Several weeks ago, skin cancer appeared on his hand. I am wondering what the best course is to follow for him, do I remove him from hospice and have him treated for skin cancer or do I continue with hospice since there are days, he doesn't know who I am.

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@norram

Hello @tsc,
Thanks for sharing your experience. My husband has progressed beyond the point your husband is at, he's not able to dress himself, he once ate a fairly balanced diet, but now has a few nonmeat items he will eat. He once was one who could build and repair just about anything, now all he can do is take things apart. He showered every day, was clean shaven, wore clean clothes, had haircuts, and took pride in his appearance. All that has changed to become like living with a stubborn spoiled child that won't budge or has a tantrum to get him to allow anyone to touch or help him with hygiene. It's all challenging for sure and requires lots of patience, endurance and love.

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Hi @norram, my husband is easy most of the time, for now. He does have difficulties with people who hurt him or want him to do things he doesn't want to do - doctors, the dentist, even physical therapists.
You need endless stores of patuence, for sure.
It sounds like taking him to get treatment would be so difficult and disruptive. Have you decided anything yet?

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To answer your question, I am still processing, 59 years of marriage, being left behind, accepting the law of the universe, respecting my children's feeling and knowing how unhappy he is.

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I used to not really understand what “quality of life” meant. We hear that term used a lot, but until you actually witness someone lose it, it doesn’t really resonate, imo. There are many factors that can impact this. I think we are all trying to do the best we can by our loved ones. It’s hard on us too.

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@norram, I'm wondering how you are doing?

As you know, the goal of hospice care is to keep a patient comfortable to the end and facilitate the best ending possible given the circumstances.

Small skin cancers limited to the surface of the skin may not require treatment beyond an initial skin biopsy that removes the entire growth. What have the hospice doctors said about the skin lesion? Is it causing pain or uncomfortable itchiness? How is he doing? How are YOU doing?

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@colleenyoung

@norram, I'm wondering how you are doing?

As you know, the goal of hospice care is to keep a patient comfortable to the end and facilitate the best ending possible given the circumstances.

Small skin cancers limited to the surface of the skin may not require treatment beyond an initial skin biopsy that removes the entire growth. What have the hospice doctors said about the skin lesion? Is it causing pain or uncomfortable itchiness? How is he doing? How are YOU doing?

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Hello Colleen,
Thank you for asking. We are both doing as well as can be expected. Since he is at the stage where he is tired most of the time and does not want to leave the house, we treat it at home. He never complains that the lesion bothers him except when we clean and dress it. It's difficult to know if I'm making choices for him that help him feel good in the reality, he currently lives in.

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