Hospice for COPD and Alzheimers or take him to treat cancer

I’m going to tell you my plan for myself. On my mother’s side virtually every parent and child died of Alzheimers - back at least two generations before me - other than those who died early. The oldest cousins in my generation have already died of it. My mother suffered for 7 years before she died. .

Recently I completed a series of tests which revealed that I have evidence of Alzheimer’s pathology in my blood and neuropsychology tests have labeled me as mild neuro-cognitive disorder. But I hear footprints. Its coming. What i have communicated to my doctors and my family is that Soon - probably next year - I will enact a directive saying that if i am blessed enough to contract a condition that could conceivably be fatal, i will consider that a gift from God and am refusing any treatment other than that intended to relieve pain.

I am not making a suggestion for your situation. I just think that those who love us could contemplate what the most humane action might be.

You will be in my prayers.

As an adult child of someone with Alzheimer’s and former caregiver of older cousin, who died from Vascular Dementia, I understand your position and agree. It's a personal decision, so I have told my siblings my wishes and put it in my Advance Medical Directive.

I arranged to have a growth surgically removed frim my cousin’s head once, even though she had severe dementia, because she kept picking at it and it would bleed. There was no way to make her stop, so removing it was comfort care.

I sympathize with you. This is a terribly painful situation. Unfortunately, there are no good alternatives.

Obviously, I can't speak for your husband, but if it were me, I would want to depart this world peacefully and with as little trauma to my loved ones as possible. The thought that I was causing them agonizing decision after agonizing decision would upset me terribly.

That being said, if the roles were reversed, what would you want your husband to do for you? That may not provide the answer, but it's a place to start.

Whatever you decide, do not second-guess yourself later. You are clearly a loving woman who wants what's best for your husband. That will be your best guide.

I sympathize with you. This is a terribly painful situation. Unfortunately, there are no good alternatives.

Obviously, I can't speak for your husband, but if it were me, I would want to depart this world peacefully and with as little trauma to my loved ones as possible. The thought that I was causing them agonizing decision after agonizing decision would upset me terribly.

That being said, if the roles were reversed, what would you want your husband to do for you? That may not provide the answer, but it's a place to start.

Whatever you decide, do not second-guess yourself later. You are clearly a loving woman who wants what's best for your husband. That will be your best guide.

I’m going to tell you my plan for myself. On my mother’s side virtually every parent and child died of Alzheimers - back at least two generations before me - other than those who died early. The oldest cousins in my generation have already died of it. My mother suffered for 7 years before she died. .

Recently I completed a series of tests which revealed that I have evidence of Alzheimer’s pathology in my blood and neuropsychology tests have labeled me as mild neuro-cognitive disorder. But I hear footprints. Its coming. What i have communicated to my doctors and my family is that Soon - probably next year - I will enact a directive saying that if i am blessed enough to contract a condition that could conceivably be fatal, i will consider that a gift from God and am refusing any treatment other than that intended to relieve pain.

I am not making a suggestion for your situation. I just think that those who love us could contemplate what the most humane action might be.

You will be in my prayers.

A close friend suffering from late stage Dementia was diagnosed with mouth cancer last fall. Her family decided not to proceed with surgery . The staff at her (religiously affiliated) nursing home agreed and gave her comfort care. Her passing in January was sooner than might have been expected but was peaceful. Although sad , it was indeed a blessing.

Hi @norram, I'm caregiver to my husband who has Alzheimer's Disease, about seven years now. He still functions pretty well, although I take care of evrything related to our care, home maintenance and finances. Aside from the Alzheimer's, his health is pretty good and he's been described as highly functioning, by some of the health professionals who have interacted with him.
He was blind in one eye from a cataract, diagnosed last August. He had surgery in November and it opened a door for him. He became much more sociable. He just had surgery last Thursday for chronic sinusitis caused by some kind of blockage and needs to have an abscessed tooth removed which has been contributing to his sinus condition. My worry about surgical procedures is that the anesthesia could make him worse, but so far, we've been lucky.
You're in a tough position, and your decision will come from your love. What is better for him overall? Would the benefits of treating the cancer improve the quality of his life or be detrimental to it? How traumatic would the treatment be for him? If the cancer is painful, can the pain be managed, if it is not treated?
I wish you the best.