Feeling lonely and want to vent

Posted by ellie80 @ellie80, May 22 3:38pm

I don’t know about a lot of you, but I was raised that when your friends or family are sick or going through issues you’re supposed to be there for them. That hasn’t been the case for me at all. I keep choosing to believe that this is God‘s way of helping me eliminate the people out of my life that don’t truly care about me. I need to cut them off like sucker branches off a tree! What really hurts is some of these people ask me if I need anything and when I say yes, they never respond back. Why ask me if I need anything if you don’t want to help or don’t plan on helping? That has really been messing with my emotions. I’m the type of friend/neighbor that is there for you and your family. I’ll bring you food and home items. I’ll clean for you, take you to your appointments, whatever you need so you don’t have to ask for help. So you don’t feel like a burden and have to ask. But that’s me and I’m learning the majority of people around me are not the same.

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I read a comment from a military veteran that said “ I don’t need an army to defeat my enemies, I just need 6 people commited to me and my cause and I can defeat any enemy!” I have had “friends” come and go throughout my life, I have learned the hard way that there are some that are not committed to me and my cause. I have subsequently narrowed my friends to that 6 that have that commitment because they know I have their back as well!! During this part of my life journey receiving a lung transplant they have knocked it out the park for my wife and I!!! Find your 6, keep a positive mind set for yourself, and know that there are many people you will never meet thinking and praying for you!

REPLY
@samcal9977zz

Very sorry about folks dealing with loneliness. I was a violent crime victim in 1982. Instead of people helping and supporting me...like bats flaying out of a cave, they all abandoned me. Friendship never really returned to me. A bit, but not much. I have had 20 year periods where not a single person visited my house.

It is enormously destructive.

Whatever folks can to out there to get some kind of socialization, I strongly recommend it.

Even if it is just going into therapy.

That is better than nothing.

And see if there are ways you can re-explore people from the past. Oh, you know, there was a friend in high school that you just lost contact with and there are no negative feelings.

Just see if there are any possibilities around.

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Yes I know how you feel. Alone during the day. I grew up in an abusive home. My ex was abusive verbally and was an Alcoholic, his family blamed me for his alcoholism. Actually looked many things up on the internet he used to drink Nyquil by the bottle (I'm 74 now) this was back in the 1970's. Nyquil back then was 50% alcohol. He was 5'10 and weighed about 130 lbs, weight was about 20 lbs less than me, I didn't realize Nyquil had so much alcohol in it. Plus he drank between 3-5 6 packs of beer every night. I never drank because my Mom lectured us about alcohol because her father was an alcoholic. He was an orphan at age 13 (born in 1885 MN) and raised himself on the Railroad working with adult men (learned to drink around adult men) Plus do you know how many Railroad accidents there were in the late 1880's & early 1990's, I had hundreds' of postcards from his collection (should have never given to my abusive father later in my life) that showed head on collisions of the trains). I have an old newspaper that mentions my grandfather Albert Miller having his back being injured in one of the train accidents. There were not a lot of drugs back then and I'm sure that men turned to drinking to dull the pain. Thus my mother lectured us to no end about drinking. I have no family left, Mother dead, father also, abusive sister also. I can't get out much because I have many health issues, Neuropathy, back problems, depression, from car accident as passenger, t-boned, fractured pelvis, sacro-iliac, 16 major surgeries, too many health issues to mention, plus neighbors giving me a bad time for feeding the crows which I love, they are the only things that bring me joy. But nasty neighbor can make noise at 5:30 AM in morning or 10-11 pm at nightl with cars and everything else, shoot off fireworks, rev his motocycle and car engines. GRRRRR

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@papercutter

Yes I know how you feel. Alone during the day. I grew up in an abusive home. My ex was abusive verbally and was an Alcoholic, his family blamed me for his alcoholism. Actually looked many things up on the internet he used to drink Nyquil by the bottle (I'm 74 now) this was back in the 1970's. Nyquil back then was 50% alcohol. He was 5'10 and weighed about 130 lbs, weight was about 20 lbs less than me, I didn't realize Nyquil had so much alcohol in it. Plus he drank between 3-5 6 packs of beer every night. I never drank because my Mom lectured us about alcohol because her father was an alcoholic. He was an orphan at age 13 (born in 1885 MN) and raised himself on the Railroad working with adult men (learned to drink around adult men) Plus do you know how many Railroad accidents there were in the late 1880's & early 1990's, I had hundreds' of postcards from his collection (should have never given to my abusive father later in my life) that showed head on collisions of the trains). I have an old newspaper that mentions my grandfather Albert Miller having his back being injured in one of the train accidents. There were not a lot of drugs back then and I'm sure that men turned to drinking to dull the pain. Thus my mother lectured us to no end about drinking. I have no family left, Mother dead, father also, abusive sister also. I can't get out much because I have many health issues, Neuropathy, back problems, depression, from car accident as passenger, t-boned, fractured pelvis, sacro-iliac, 16 major surgeries, too many health issues to mention, plus neighbors giving me a bad time for feeding the crows which I love, they are the only things that bring me joy. But nasty neighbor can make noise at 5:30 AM in morning or 10-11 pm at nightl with cars and everything else, shoot off fireworks, rev his motocycle and car engines. GRRRRR

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Also lookout, I was in a group for Seniors living alone, one man wanted to facetime with me, never did it before I said ok, said he was getting comfortable, all of a sudden he showed his genitals!!!!! i was so shocked, and traumatized, called the lady (head of the group), she didn't seem to care or anything and even seem to believe me. Called the Menlo Park, Ca police, took the report, but since it was over the phone not much they can do, GRRRR I have words for him. Don't know if his name is put down as a sex pervert, should be. Women be careful with men who want to Facetime!!!!

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@sidney073

I read a comment from a military veteran that said “ I don’t need an army to defeat my enemies, I just need 6 people commited to me and my cause and I can defeat any enemy!” I have had “friends” come and go throughout my life, I have learned the hard way that there are some that are not committed to me and my cause. I have subsequently narrowed my friends to that 6 that have that commitment because they know I have their back as well!! During this part of my life journey receiving a lung transplant they have knocked it out the park for my wife and I!!! Find your 6, keep a positive mind set for yourself, and know that there are many people you will never meet thinking and praying for you!

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Anyone who finds six true friends is doing really well, in my experience.

REPLY
@papercutter

Yes I know how you feel. Alone during the day. I grew up in an abusive home. My ex was abusive verbally and was an Alcoholic, his family blamed me for his alcoholism. Actually looked many things up on the internet he used to drink Nyquil by the bottle (I'm 74 now) this was back in the 1970's. Nyquil back then was 50% alcohol. He was 5'10 and weighed about 130 lbs, weight was about 20 lbs less than me, I didn't realize Nyquil had so much alcohol in it. Plus he drank between 3-5 6 packs of beer every night. I never drank because my Mom lectured us about alcohol because her father was an alcoholic. He was an orphan at age 13 (born in 1885 MN) and raised himself on the Railroad working with adult men (learned to drink around adult men) Plus do you know how many Railroad accidents there were in the late 1880's & early 1990's, I had hundreds' of postcards from his collection (should have never given to my abusive father later in my life) that showed head on collisions of the trains). I have an old newspaper that mentions my grandfather Albert Miller having his back being injured in one of the train accidents. There were not a lot of drugs back then and I'm sure that men turned to drinking to dull the pain. Thus my mother lectured us to no end about drinking. I have no family left, Mother dead, father also, abusive sister also. I can't get out much because I have many health issues, Neuropathy, back problems, depression, from car accident as passenger, t-boned, fractured pelvis, sacro-iliac, 16 major surgeries, too many health issues to mention, plus neighbors giving me a bad time for feeding the crows which I love, they are the only things that bring me joy. But nasty neighbor can make noise at 5:30 AM in morning or 10-11 pm at nightl with cars and everything else, shoot off fireworks, rev his motocycle and car engines. GRRRRR

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My great-grandfather was a railroad engineer and an alcoholic.

There's a story that he got drunk one day and drove a locomotive through a roundhouse. He swore to his dying day that he was knocked out by someone who poured whiskey all over him and sabotaged the train.

...Uh huh.

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The thing I’m find out about chronic illness is that at the beginning friends and family flock around and support, but, over time this dwindles and even though I continue to struggle with day to day tasks, the help is not there. 🤷‍♀️
Perhaps this is just human nature…I wonder, do I do the same thing? Because I had a lot of friends through different circles of friendship, people assume I am busy and well looked after…not necessarily the case. Anyways, my two cents worth.

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