Anxiety adrenaline waves every AM waking me from sleep.

BTW, I don’t think being concerned about your health makes you a hypochondriac. If my mother had died from pancreatic cancer, any tumors, including adenomas would have given me cause for concern. My mother had type 1 DM, and she developed chronic renal insufficiency not too long after she was dxed (58), but she made it to 93.5. But before she passed she ended up in the hospital, and they had her undergo an MRI only to tell her they believed she had a pancreatic neuroendocrine tumor. When she heard that she told them she wanted to go home on hospice, and that’s exactly what she did. She had a full life, I only wish my father hadn’t died 30 years before her.

Right. I don’t think I’m hypochondriac but I have honestly been to hundreds of appointments in the last two and a half years. For people who don’t know me, I can see how they might draw that conclusion.

My mom was 77 when she died. Right now I don’t expect to have a long life, and frankly that’s ok with me because the quality of my life has been so poor for such a long time.

If I can get well, I want to live, if I can’t get well, I’m ready to go.
I’ve lost most of my hearing and my eyes are terribly messed up. These issues keep me dizzy and unable to function. Not to mention the anxiety and issues we’ve been discussing. It just isn’t a life.
I had always been quite healthy, and I’m not good at being an invalid.
I’m very close to giving up.

I feel my anxiety is mostly related to my worries over long Covid issues. According to my doctors it has ramped up cortisol, which is causing me to wake early, and feel agitation almost constantly.
Eating well and some exercise seems to help.

Like your daughter, I’m often up before sunrise walking (not running) briskly around my back yard. I’m not able to do this so much now because dizziness has gotten worse for me.
When I can “walk off” some of the adrenaline feeling, it is helpful.

I have a doctor who will prescribe Klonopin. I take a very low dose (.25) and it takes the edge off a bit.
Benzo drugs have taken a bad rap lately and many doctors will not prescribe. I think that’s a shame.

Good luck to you and your daughter.

Hi Esikora-

I’m so glad you’re writing about this. I’ve had AA for and constant pain for almost 50 years. Anyone who has been told they have incurable chronic pain and say that they are not fighting anxiety and depression are not in touch with themselves or reality. Suddenly your family, your job, your relationships, your WHOLE LIFE are affected. What about your kids’ college expenses, retirement, paying for your home, etc.?
I have taken Benzodiazepines for some years and for me they really help. Xanax, Zolpidem, etc. There is concern about benzodiazepines and mental clouding, but that is an issue to work out with your Dr.
Things are not normal. Your life is no longer under your control. You may never have a good night’s sleep again. You may never enjoy an evening out with your friends again. Being anxious and depressed about those very real life changes is an honest response, not one to be hidden or ashamed of. Keep a journal of your feelings and correlate that with your meds. Share your journal with your provider. Find a Psychiatrist who works with people like us. These are all positive steps to improve the quality of your life. Best, Archie

I thought I should post my experience in case it might help someone else. About 4 years ago I developed insomnia and fairly severe anxiety when Trazodone (that I had been taking because I worked different shifts all the time) just stopped working and I couldn’t sleep. I had never had anxiety before. Because I am sensitive to side effects of all SSRI type antidepressants, the doctor prescribed the lowest dose of Xanax which worked wonders for the anxiety (although it had such a short half life) and it also helped me sleep. Being mindful that any benzodiazepine can cause dependence, I never increased the dosage and tried natural supplements over the next two years without much success so I had to keep falling back on very low doses of Xanax- most often half a dose which I generally only took at night. Around year two my anxiety seemed to be getting worse and I developed night terrors where I would scream out loud occasionally during a nightmare and scare my poor husband to death. I also started waking with a feeling of panic and my heart racing. What I ultimately discovered was that I was having rebound anxiety the next day to the Xanax that I would take the night before. Once that realization hit me, I discontinued the Xanax. It has taken me another full year to finally start sleeping most of the time without waking with my heart rate elevated and that panicky feeling. My point to share is that rebound anxiety is not that uncommon with benzodiazepines and that sometimes the cure is worse than the condition it is intending to treat. I thank God that I was able to figure out what was happening. My body is finally healing from a 4 year nightmare and I have great empathy for anyone going through extreme insomnia and resulting anxiety. It nearly ruined my life.

I am the same. I have been suffering with depression anxiety really bad even though I started Prozac. It seems like every morning I wake up and I am like oh my gosh House my blood sugar since I’m a diabetic and I just start freaking out. It’s like morning anxiety, and I’m sure my cortisol levels go up because my blood sugar and spike. Any other diabetics in here Look forward to hearing from you.

For years now, I have taken 1 Flexeril 10 mg (muscle relaxer)and 1 Klonapin 1 mg (anxiety sedative benzodiazapine) at night, usually early. It takes about 2 hours to take effect. If my neck doesn't relax, I'm not sleeping (severe spinal issues). If my mind doesn't shut down, I'm not sleeping. It takes both of them for me, but has worked well. They both make you sleepy. I tried Zanex, but it only lasted 4 hours, and then I was awake again. Klonapin, which is the same family as Zanex works 6-7 hrs. They are both low doses, and I am allowed more daily, but I try to keep them just for sleep.
FYI, my Cardiologist increased my Carvedilol (blood pressure med), which has lowered my blood pressure. This has allowed me to sleep better (a more sound sleep), I am calmer, and I have less of the panicky feelings, (the fight, fright thinking, which with me is always fright and heart pounding.) Amazing, and a very pleasant surprise.
My best to all.

I’m reading these threads because I’ve become very concerned about the benzodiazepines I’ve been taking for over 5 years. I am very scared I will end up in your situation if I try to stop taking this medication. Can I ask what your dose was and the frequency? I’ve mentioned stopping to my doctor but because I never had any problems with side effects and it only seemed to help my sleep and anxiety, I never pursued the conversation. Well, I think it’s time to pursue the conversation. I’m 72 years old now. I have taken .5 mg of Xanax once daily for the last five years. Lately I have found that if I don’t take another half a pill midday, my heart is racing and I feel a little out of body. Now, the second bad part of my story. I take .25 mg Halcion nightly for sleep. Without it, there’s no hope of falling asleep. Over the last few years, my sleep has gotten pretty bad and I’m lucky to get 5 to 6 hours at best, but at least I’m able to fall asleep with the medication. So, I am now taking a minimum of .75 mg (closer to a full milligram for the last month) collectively of benzodiazepines a day. I am becoming more and more withdrawn and have other health issues now that really make me not want to have to take medications if they are not absolutely necessary. I am at the point that I don’t know if I even need either of these drugs now because I feel fully dependent on them. I can’t tell if my body wants them or if I still need them. I have a doctors appointment in three weeks and I’m going to address getting rid of these meds if I can. Has anyone else stopped taking benzodiazepines after an extended period of time? If so, how did you do it successfully? I would love to hear others stories. My doctor usually says my dosage is so low that if it’s working, why do I need to stop? Honestly, I don’t know why. I just don’t want to take them if I don’t need them. Any help is greatly appreciated.

You seem to be very knowledgeable in this area. I will be as brief as possible since I posted a speech a few moments ago, which you may find yourself stuck reading as well. I have been taking benzodiazepines for almost 5 years. I take .5 mg of Xanax in the morning and .25 mg of Halcion at night for sleep. Recently, I have felt the need on some days to take another .25 mg of Xanax midday. This has been concerning to me because I’m frightened this dependence will continue to increase. My doctor tells me I am on a very low-dose and if it’s working, I shouldn’t worry. I would like to be able to stop both medications but I’ve been taking them so long. I don’t know if the reasons I started taking them still exist. My schedule was all over the place when I worked, which is the reason I took Halcion for sleep. My anxiety has always been present, but was controllable for many years. Sadly, I am that control freak you speak of.☹️ so, now I’m retired and can sleep whenever I feel like it and I really have no reason to feel anxious. I was in a management position with 110 employees under me. That was pretty stressful, but that job no longer exists. So, what’s your opinion? I guess I’m hoping somebody else can tell me that the dosage I’m taking really is very low and should I try and stop taking it, it really won’t be that bad. Or should I go through the pains of step down withdrawal and pray at the end of that, I really don’t need it anymore??

I was told that the body easily becomes dependent on benzodiazepines so I stayed on the lowest dose .25 mg and would usually just take a half tablet, but then, I have always been sensitive to medications. Xanax worked so well for anxiety but was so short acting that whenever I took it, it would wear off in 3-4 hours. I generally tried to “power through” whatever anxiety I was experiencing and then only take it at night so it would also help me sleep. After a year or two, it seemed that my anxiety was even worse once it wore off and then I knew my body had become accustomed to it and wanted more-so it was time to get off. Actually, I did not have any horrible withdrawals when I stopped it-but I had horrible insomnia. I still have some insomnia however I can now sleep 5-6 hours most nights without taking anything and can even take very short naps during the day if I have not slept well at night. Four years ago I could not sleep at all without taking something so I have made good progress. I have found Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for sleep to be helpful in the following: Only go to sleep when you are really sleepy, and try to get up at the same time every morning despite when you fell asleep. If you didn’t get enough sleep you will be building “sleep pressure” which will help you sleep better the next night. I read several CBT books including The Sleep Prescription and No More Sleepless Nights. What worried me about taking a medicine for sleep every night is that whatever it was would stop working again just like what happened with Trazodone. I have read that many people have taken Trazodone for over a decade with success. For me, it stopped working after about 4 years and then I just about had a nervous breakdown from lack of sleep. Have you tried Trazodone? It would be helpful for the sleep and anxiety and might help you transition off the benzodiazepines. Benzodiazepines have so many other bad side effects for us seniors (I am 70) and I thank the Good Lord that I was able to get off them. Hopefully your doc will have your best interest at heart and advise you truthfully about balancing the need for restful sleep vs taking a medication long term. Please let me know if I can help you in any way. I tried every natural supplement on the market including a medical marijuana THC tincture so I am familiar with a lot of alternatives that helped me transition off prescriptions.