Caregiver Sleep Disruptions and Threat of Wandering
My husband Gary came into my room at 5:30 AM dressed in a warm sweater to tell me he was going out to attend to his businesses. I told him it was too early in the morning and to go back to sleep. This really freaked me out and I got up and he was in the kitchen. He had forgotten his plan to go out. My gut tells me that he’s not going to start wandering outside but if he’s going to wake me up at 5:30 every morning, that will be a problem.
I’m going to start to try to keep him up later at night so he goes to bed at 9:30 or 10 instead of 7:45-8 and see if that helps. I hope this will prove to be an occasional not constant problem. I also ordered him an ID bracelet with my cell phone number in case he does get out. He never carries his cell phone but I have tracker fobs in his wallet and on his key chain.
I had moved to another bedroom a couple of months ago because he was waking up at 4:30 or so in the morning and opening drawers and putting on his clothes, waking me up. I put a sign on the door of my new room telling him I was sleeping there and not to wake me. He’s been pretty good about it up to now. He has come in to wake me from time to time but never before 7:30 or 8. I can deal with that, but not 5:30. I stay up to 11 or 12 at night because the time after his bedtime is my only consistent alone time. I can talk to my BFF who lives in California - 3 time zones away. I have struggled with insomnia over the years and finally have had it manageable up to now. This new wrinkle is very upsetting.
Please share any advice you may have or simply share if you’re dealing with this too.
Many thanks,
Sleepy Cheryl
New York City
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.
There are floor mats that can be placed by door to outside, to warn caregiver about patient wandering. I've seen them on Amazon, and I'm sure they have them at medical supply stores.
Thanks, good idea Victoria.
When I was my mom’s caregiver in my home this very issue is what led, eventually, to moving her to an assisted living facility. For several months I would waken in the middle of the night to see my mom standing at the foot of my bed. When I had to leave for a short time I came home one night to see her standing at the stove trying to figure out how to turn it on. Her safety (and mine) were really at risk and I could not provide the 24/7 oversight plus the supervised entry/exit a facility would offer. Truly the hardest decision I ever had to make. I felt like a failure but at the same time recognized that I would NEVER be able to provide her the supervision she needed going forward. Once she settled into the facility I was able to spend meaningful times visiting knowing she was safe. Hard times for sure.
I feel compelled to share a mat story I just heard at an ALZ meeting. The mom was a wanderer. When she was confronted with a small black rug wouldn't step on it because it looked like a hole to her. The rug was moved in front of the front door, and she never approached the door again for fear of falling into the abyss.
I never felt bad about placing my loved one. I was actually proud I found such a great place that took excellent care of her. It was the only way I had to get her proper care, under the circumstances.