1. < Depression & Anxiety

Multiple Sclerosis/Depression/PTSD

Posted by Manysilver @manysilver, Jul 30, 2016

I am a 66 yr old female that has been diagnosed with MS/Major Depression/PTSD. In the early 2000s I was diagnosed with Depression and was placed on Ativan. After moving to a new location and getting a new psychiatrist, he started to wean me off of the Ativan. He didn't do it right and I went into a very bad withdrawal. I dropped that psychiatrist (had him fired) and ended up with my current female psychiatrist. Since then I have had two hospitalizations and have multiple drugs prescribed and changed to where I am no longer on any anti-depressants. I have suffered multiple serious side effects from taking and going off of these drugs. Sleeping is very difficult for me and I am taking Clonzepam 1mg along with 300mg of Trazadone for sleep. I am very restless sleeping and don't feel like I slept well when I wake up. I haven't felt like myself for years now and my psychiatrist says I won't feel like I did when I was on Ativan. When I was on that for several years and had energy and the will to live life to the fullest. Now I think of dying every day (won't do that as I am afraid of dying) and just don't have the desire to do anything. I used to have pride in the way I looked and dressed and now I don't care. The drugs I was on made me gain weight so my clothes don't fit right and I haven't had the desire to go shopping. My husband is now my caretaker in some respects as I have no desire to do anything. I have to force myself to get up from my chair everyday to just do the smallest of tasks. My feeling is that there isn't any medication or therapy that has helped me and I am about at the end of my rope. There isn't any true information that my Multiple Sclerosis is contributing to what is going on with me at least that is what my neurologist ang psychiatrist say. They just don't know. I have what they call Benign MS so I am not wheelchair bound. Is there any hope for me? I need help but I don't know what to do. Can anyone out there help me?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

Book2075 | @book2075 | Aug 1, 2016

Dear ManySilver and Warren;

If you have the energy to leave the house a local mediation group might be able to help you. They are often found in Unitarian, Presbyterian and Quaker churches if not Yoga and Wellness Centers. The people I have meant there have depression and "heavy life" issues. They use meditation to sort out the good feelings from the bad feelings along with drugs form their therapists. If you want to download the free "Insight" app onto your smart phone, is helps you meditation from home. I hope you find ways to heal/ cope from your abuse ManySilver, a lot of us are on the same ship just different decks Withdrawal/side effects are brutal and you are not alone.

REPLY
1 reply
Frank | @frank1 | Aug 2, 2016
In reply to @book2075 "Dear ManySilver and Warren; If you have the energy to leave the house a local mediation..." + (show)
@book2075

Dear ManySilver and Warren;

If you have the energy to leave the house a local mediation group might be able to help you. They are often found in Unitarian, Presbyterian and Quaker churches if not Yoga and Wellness Centers. The people I have meant there have depression and "heavy life" issues. They use meditation to sort out the good feelings from the bad feelings along with drugs form their therapists. If you want to download the free "Insight" app onto your smart phone, is helps you meditation from home. I hope you find ways to heal/ cope from your abuse ManySilver, a lot of us are on the same ship just different decks Withdrawal/side effects are brutal and you are not alone.

Jump to this post

Thank you book2075 for the suggestion. I have been a meditator since the 1970's (nor regularly, though), and have done some Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction also. They both do help some. Best wishes, Warren

REPLY
davidwhitehurstbrown | @davidwhitehurstbrown | Aug 6, 2016

@manysilver: As a non-physician, I shall give you my free opinion. You were on long-term therapy with Ativan (generic lorazepam) and it seems to me that you are now suffering from benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorazepam
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benzodiazepine_withdrawal_syndrome
You might attempt to find a psychiatrist (or neurologist) who is willing to treat you with lorazepam for long periods with frequent "drug holidays" to prevent dependence on lorazepam from becoming too bad.

REPLY
Manysilver | @manysilver | Aug 6, 2016

Thanks for the info on the withdrawal from Ativan. It was a nightmare of the worse kind and besides that I had a male shrink that was god awful. Although I was doing fine on the Ativan at the time ( had to get a new shrink because of a move) the new shrink told me he would refuse to treat me unless I agreed to discontinue use of the Ativan. I didn't know what I was in for and agreed to go off of it. He didn't warn me about the side effects of going off of Ativan even though he was doing it on a sliding scale. Even doing that I still had a horrible reaction for several years. After four years now I am still not myself. I complained to the clinic administrator about what this doc did to me and because he had other patient complaints he was terminated. Now he is doing his bad medicine with others as here in Wisconsin you can't sue for malpractice anymore. My current psychiatrist has me back on Ativan only cause I begged her to. Told her I really felt good on this medication but we'd have to watch it closely. I am starting to feel some better but time will tell. Thanks for the info! Manysilver

REPLY
2 replies
Martin Jensen, Volunteer Mentor | @predictable | Aug 7, 2016
In reply to @manysilver "Thanks for the info on the withdrawal from Ativan. It was a nightmare of the worse..." + (show)
@manysilver

Thanks for the info on the withdrawal from Ativan. It was a nightmare of the worse kind and besides that I had a male shrink that was god awful. Although I was doing fine on the Ativan at the time ( had to get a new shrink because of a move) the new shrink told me he would refuse to treat me unless I agreed to discontinue use of the Ativan. I didn't know what I was in for and agreed to go off of it. He didn't warn me about the side effects of going off of Ativan even though he was doing it on a sliding scale. Even doing that I still had a horrible reaction for several years. After four years now I am still not myself. I complained to the clinic administrator about what this doc did to me and because he had other patient complaints he was terminated. Now he is doing his bad medicine with others as here in Wisconsin you can't sue for malpractice anymore. My current psychiatrist has me back on Ativan only cause I begged her to. Told her I really felt good on this medication but we'd have to watch it closely. I am starting to feel some better but time will tell. Thanks for the info! Manysilver

Jump to this post

@manysilver, I would say that psychiatrist who took you off Ativan without protection is the last straw. I hope you turn him in to state medical licensing authorities and his national association. Hang him out to dry in the hot sun!

REPLY
Manysilver | @manysilver | Aug 8, 2016
In reply to @manysilver "Thanks for the info on the withdrawal from Ativan. It was a nightmare of the worse..." + (show)
@manysilver

Thanks for the info on the withdrawal from Ativan. It was a nightmare of the worse kind and besides that I had a male shrink that was god awful. Although I was doing fine on the Ativan at the time ( had to get a new shrink because of a move) the new shrink told me he would refuse to treat me unless I agreed to discontinue use of the Ativan. I didn't know what I was in for and agreed to go off of it. He didn't warn me about the side effects of going off of Ativan even though he was doing it on a sliding scale. Even doing that I still had a horrible reaction for several years. After four years now I am still not myself. I complained to the clinic administrator about what this doc did to me and because he had other patient complaints he was terminated. Now he is doing his bad medicine with others as here in Wisconsin you can't sue for malpractice anymore. My current psychiatrist has me back on Ativan only cause I begged her to. Told her I really felt good on this medication but we'd have to watch it closely. I am starting to feel some better but time will tell. Thanks for the info! Manysilver

Jump to this post

Hi Predictable: As I said I couldn't sue him but I did turn him into the State Medical Licensing Board and because he was in the National Guard as a psychiatrist I called his commanding officer. Whether anyone did anything to him I don't know as things like this are kept quiet. At least I got him fired from the job he had when he was treating me but I heard he just moved to another health organization about 2 hrs from here. Thanks for the info & encouragement!!!! JaneL Manysilver

REPLY
crictor1 | @crictor1 | Sep 24 1:02pm

Reading your post sounds just like what I've been going through. I've been on medication after medication and nothing seemed to help. I had been really depressed and just didn't feel like doing anything. I've had Ms for about 15 years. In the last 2 months. On top of that I also had shingles. I was unable to take care of myself and went to my sister's. With her help and my doctors which I have wonderful doctors have now changed all my medication and I've also started doing acupuncture and it seems to help. I am on cymbalta for the depression and terafludamide for my MS. And of course a bunch of other medications. Including gabapentin. I really wish you the best and hope that you can get your problems resolved to where you are comfortable and feel like going out of the house. 🥰

REPLY
cough | @cough | Oct 5 12:49am
In reply to @frank1 "Dear Manysilver: I am in much the same situation as you, except I have dry eye..." + (show)
@frank1

Dear Manysilver: I am in much the same situation as you, except I have dry eye instead of MS. I'm on clonazepam but no anti-depressants, and don't have the desire to do anything. But I wanted to make some suggestions, rather than blather on about myself. Have you tried taking the herb Valerian for sleeping? I have taken it as a tincture or as pills and despite its aroma (it smells like Parmesan cheese and/or smelly feet!) it helps me to fall asleep and stay asleep and awaken feeling somewhat refreshed. As with any drug you should read up on it in the literature or the internet and MUST consult with your physician before you take it. It IS a powerful herb and has interactions with other drugs and herbs. One place I know you can purchase it by mail is at http://www.swansonvitamins.com. I'm sure there are equally reputable sources for it at other companies and stores--this is just the one I know.

Another thing you could try for sleep is Melatonin. I take the dose recommended on the bottle, but it doesn't work for me. It messes up my sleep, waking me fully up in the middle of the night and making me super-tired the next morning, so I fall asleep THEN when I should be getting out of bed, but some people find it useful. I don't know much about it, so again, you should read up on it and talk to your doctor BEFORE taking it, even though it is over the counter at all the pharmacies I visit, looking all innocent in its little bottle.

I'm still working on getting through the withdrawal effects of going off Cymbalta 3 weeks ago (having tapered according to the doctor's plan). I don't even know who I am right now, and whether I can trust a thought, or believe something my brain is telling me. I am hanging in there though, will wait out the withdrawal symptoms, and start fresh when they are gone. I keep fantasizing that one day I will simply wake up, and ha, ha, ("poof") the real me will be back again! No matter what has happened in the past to me EVERYDAY IS A FRESH START. I try to remember that but can't always.

I hope some of my comments and suggestions are worthwhile. Most of the statements you made could have come out of my mouth, so I truly know how you feel.

Best regards,

Warren

Jump to this post

As a 20+ year sufferer of anti-depressant resistant major depression disorder with anxiety also I have to ask if you have looked into Spravato. It is a nasal spray version of ketamine that they call esketamine. After 20 years of fighting this disease with different anti-depressants , 12 treatments of ECT I was at my ropes end. Then I was referred to a Spravato clinic. I felt a change after my first treatment. After 1 month of getting it twice a week and then 1 month of getting it once a week what a difference it made. I had also developed the disease where you have no positive emotions. It was like whatever that was going on in your life that should make you happy it didn't. Then at the end of my second month of treatment someone told a joke and I laughed out loud. It startled me as I had not laughed in years. So it is making a difference for me. That's my story and we'll see how it continues with Esketamine.

REPLY
View MoreView Less
Please sign in or register to post a reply.