Long-term depression

@gingerw, Volunteer Mentor, there was a good piece on CBS this morning about the stress of holiday get togethers.

The presenter said it was unrealistic for us to think that on that one day, all previous remnants of our dysfunctional pasts just blow ,away in the wind, as if they had never been.
Unortunately, Uncle Bob will still most likely tell all of his old, boring stories. And he will not refrain from making his usual comments about how " young people today have no respect for their elders." All the while, he is working on his fourth glass of wine, and his word choices reflect his upbringing in an era when no one really knew how to be "politically correct. "

Very uncomfortable for your guests, whose first language is not English. Or the single mother raising two children all on her own. Or the cousin who has an anxiety disorder that no one talks about. But they do talk. And it's usually the typical advice such as " What does she have to be anxious about, anyway?"

"She just wants all the attention, I'm thinking...always has to be her way. She just needs a good talking to." And "She should just be grateful she has a decent job and this family to support her."

Self appointed judginess not welcome at the holiday table. Make sure Uncle Bob has an easy escape from the table, and plan on assigning him chores in the kitchen at certain moments. Work with your spouse and children ahead of time. Explain that the purpose of the family meal is not to change them. But to accept them. Love on them. Don't expect any of them to "act better " just because it is a holiday gathering.

We cannot change anyone. But we can change our response to another's inappropriate behavior. We can celebrate the holidays in ways that build us up individually. We can remember joys of holidays past. We can give to others what we needed back then, and even now.

Just a thought. We don't have to be too far down, for too long. We can change. And we can be the change.

Love and light,
Mamacita Jane

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Please follow the COVID-19 group by clicking on +Follow, look at the discussions there and participate. You are also welcome to start a new discussion on any COVID-19-related topic you'd like to discuss.

I think there are different levels of anxiety, depression and Catastrophizing. Sometimes it becomes debilitating. It is a hard place to be in and takes a while to pull yourself out of. At least for me. It always seems to find its way back in my life. It is getting harder and harder to deal with. Can anyone suggest affordable therapy or treatment?

@kimba8138 Sometimes we need to step up and look for outside help, just like you are doing. Good for you for recognizing this may be a help to you.

I would first ask your primary care doctor if they can recommend someone. There are many types of therapy out there, and finding the "right fit" may take a few tries. Don't be discouraged if your first couple of appointments feel like you are getting nowhere, as it takes time to feel comfortable. Be open and honest in what you want to achieve, and ask how this can be done.

Does this give you any guidance?
Ginger

I do think more people would get help if it was more affordable. I do not have great insurance unfortunately. So, long term it becomes to costly for me. I am reaching out for a different path that may be helpful.

Terri what does < br>< br> mean

Everyone is different. I’ve had depression for almost 50 years without a break and have been on many different anti depressants over the years. Maybe you need a different med or a second one. I’m very old so changing meds now is not a good idea because some meds have an adverse reaction in elderly people. Have you tried seeing a therapist. Sometimes talking to someone is very helpful. I’ve also lost interest in what used to be some of my favorite pastimes. I’ve just learned to live with it. Sometimes it’s not so bad and other times it’s tough. I wish I could help you but you need a professional, the same as I do.

In my experience, and this is my experience only, depression is a symptom of underlying trauma. Trauma can be biological or environmental; one becomes the other eventually.

Heal the trauma, and the depressive symptoms go away.

Unfortunately, currently, psychiatric medications make this very difficult as they retard cognitive functions and blunt emotions. Numb is not an absence of depression, only a continuation of the suffering.

Again, this is my experience only. However, I do have sixty years of experience.

I hope everyone lives in peace and good health.

I focus on the little things to look forward to. Little things are easier for me to find than anything else. Examples: cooler temperatures so I can go for a walk, plans to go to the library for a new book, a new project I am going to attempt

I agree, heal the trauma and the depression lessons. If it is caused by a situational depression. I do think there is such a thing as a “chemical” depression that requires medication to help. I have a young daughter that receives counseling/light meds/CBT, you name it. Seems to be a disease she will continue to battle.