Caregiver Sleep Disruptions and Threat of Wandering

I've been "caregiver" since I was 5 years old when my brother with a disability was born. The beginning of my caregiving "career". Maybe you could hire a live-in adult-sitter and take a day or two vacation.

I have looked after my wife for about 4/5 years now (lost track of time) and have much to same experiences. I also have chimes on all exterior doors and windows so I know when they are opened. I do all the chores and help her dress. I keep track of clothes and make sure clean undies and socks are out every day that way I can schedule the laundry to make sure we don't run out. She always talks about getting out ("how to I get out of here")and only once so far have the neighbours got involved. When I work in the garden I have to be very careful as she will take the front exit if I am in the rear and visa versa. In her mind she is way back in her childhood which I am learning must have not been good at times. I am finding this type o /arf communication helps me to get things out please bear with me. Life changes everyday and we must adapt any way we can. It is hard though when your loved one does not know who you are and gets mad when you are only trying to help. I do take advantage of the quiet times, such as now, and give thanks when I can finally get to bed at the end of each day. Stay happy!

My husband started wandering (sun downing) in the middle of the night. I live on 22 acres and one neighbor actually wandered off, never to be found again. My husband had Parkinson's.
I found my husband one morning laying face down in the dirt , hypothermic, and he had to be taken by ambulance to the emergency room.
After that I started giving him 10 mg of melatonin at 4 pm and again at 9 or 10 pm. He never sun downed again except one time when my son forgot to give him the first dose until 6pm. Yesterday I read an article on melatonin. It was about high doses of melatonin can help with all kinds of problems including heart attacks and strokes. It has never been found to have overdosed anyone.
He might have odd dreams at first but they subside.

Are you able to get any caregiver to give you time away? I think you need that. It seems it's a very big burden for many years and you deserve a life, too. I am glad you like to garden. I raise Monarch butterflies, sometimes my husband is jealous ( I am thinking) and threatens my caterpillars and chrysallises. It is very upsetting because it is so mean, and he was not a mean person. We need to remember they are not who they were, it's ok to take a break and use some funds- if possible- to take care of yourself. I am finally doing it! I hope you can too! Good luck.

Also I was just reading about respite care, which may or may not be appropriate, but can't hurt to look into. You have to take care of yourself so you'll be a good caregiver to others. I also am glad the use of caregiver title.....in the old days it was caretaker......and that didn't seem right.

You are not alone. Hello from Sleepy Becky in Virginia Beach.
😊

Hello Sleepy Becky,
Thanks for the reach out.
Sleepy Cheryl

We are working on getting respite care now. Man, my dad’s recent progression put us under so much stress and exhaustion. He has multiple health issues too,

Yesterday, his doctor prescribed a med to help him rest through the night and to ease some OCD symptoms of scratching. He took pill last night, but it helped just a little. Guess we have to figure out how the dosing works best. It’s a small dose of Seroquel twice a day.

Update: The med has helped. He’s resting better and not as agitated.

I really feel for you. I was a solo caregiver for my cousin a few years ago and it became unfeasible to do in the home, so I placed her in memory care, which turned out to be a great decision. She thrived there until her death.

My father has had a rapid decline due to his coexisting medical problems. We have been in a very stressful situation the last couple of weeks. It’s escalated into a 24/7 stressful job. I would recommend making plans before you get to crisis mode. And read about categiver fatigue. It’s very real.