Survivors of toxic relationship with a Narcissist: Let's Connect

@gardenchef Interested in hearing more about such groups, especially if there can be a place here on Mayo Clinic Connect to find out more. (I've come across posts on this subject, but don't think or know if there is a discussion thread clearly dedicated to this topic alone.)

There had been a group on Yahoo in the last decade or so called ACON (Adult Children of Narcissists) - although they spelled it incorrectly intentionally ("Narcissits" I think it was), but when Yahoo changed their group policies - nothing to do with any specific group (I'm not up on how this all worked anyway) - the ACON group seemed to slowly disappear.

I prefer - by far - this Mayo Clinic Connect forum, as I've shared many times, because it is moderated by compassionate volunteers, respectful, helpful and insightful. Since I do not use social media, it is with deep appreciation that I come here, read and contribute in the interest of sharing experiences and knowledge.

So I hope we might find more from each other here.

Thank you for initiating this.

I would like to join a group like that. How do we do it

@lakesofdelray - Good Q - if you mean, a group on Mayo Clinic Connect, I was/am kind of thinking one of the Moderator/Volunteers would be responding to this topic/thread soon and guide us to resources, and maybe offer suggestion/s on how to start something here on MCC (like one of the "Support Groups" that show up in the listing we get daily by email of the latest posts by topic).

Let's see - &/or you can send a note directly to one of the Mentor/Volunteers that you've seen on other threads who participate in these MCC posts. I've found Ginger to be especially helpful and compassionate. But any one would be helpful, or could at least direct us to one who could assist.

It'd be good to get it started here on MCC.

@brandysparks And here I am ;))
@gardenchef Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. You have taken the right step to seek out support for abusive behavior. There are almost as many stories here as there are members. Many of us share common themes or experiences, but in the end, they are all our own story.

Here is an article from Medical News Today that offers some good straightforward information about narcissistic personalities and how it affects relationships of all kinds. Not all signs/symptoms are present in every case, so that is important to remember. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/narcissistic-abuse#the-signs
Ginger

@gardenchef, thank you for starting this discussion group for people who want to talk about and get support while coping with narcissistic abuse.

Not everyone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) will be abusive, but people who are abusive can cause significant harm to the people around them. This is sometimes called narcissistic abuse, which can be emotional, psychological, or physical.

@gardenchef @brandysparks @lakesofdelray @gingerw, how are you recovering from the abuse of a relationship with a narcissist? What helps?

Understanding that we are stronger [mentally and emotionally] than the narcissist is important to always remember. I have worked hard to be proud of who I am, what I accomplish, on a daily basis. Not always giving in to the negative emotions that can be triggered, but acknowledging them. It can be a battle everyday, but I need to remind myself in the long haul it is worth it.
Ginger

I am in therapy now. Reading the book: “It Is Not You” by Dr. Ramani. A must read for all involved in this behavior
Just would like to have a support group that could help us all grow and gain knowledge to be stronger with each other by our sides

Ginger, I hear your words and I am also going forward 1 step at a time to know that it “Is Not Me”. I am good!!
And have been for all these years.

Please let me know if the book is worth reading. I’m dealing with depression and anxiety and I don’t want to feel worse. Thank you

@colleenyoung Thank you for making the distinction between a diagnosable personality disorder such as narcissistic personality disorder vs. a person who shows narcissistic abuse.

We all have personality traits such as introversion or assertiveness. Those traits do not translate into an actual disorder.

I learned about the above by reading and listening to experts. Please continue to share with books or articles that you've read. I like TED Talks too. I'm careful, though, about the source I want to make sure that the information is valid and reliable. You'll know that when you read about the speaker (in the description) or the author (on the back or inner leaf of the book).