My Son: Is it depression or bipolar disorder? I need help

It sounds like he is clinically depressed. I went through this years ago. Just my opinion, but he needs to see a therapist and needs medication for depression. There is hope, as I live a happy life now. Good luck to you and your son.

Try to get him to see a COMPETENT mental health professional. This can be challenging. I was, I believe, misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and the consequences were catastrophic: antipsychotic drugs can have a witch's brew of very serious side effects. And, I don't think there's enough basis for a BP diagnosis coming from a typical psychiatric interview. And that's all the community's got: an interview, hunches. Read the DSM. It's necessarily vague.

My guess is that your son's clinically depressed and may benefit from drug therapy. But, I'm not a shrink. My 2 cents.

Good luck. I wish him well.

@bosmac How is your son? Did he follow-up on the appointment with his GP as he said he would do after your family meeting?

@danakelly1956 - Your post gives hope that a happy/ier life is possible! Glad to hear that for you.

May I ask if you could describe how you found a therapist that really helped you? More specifically (having been in therapy, in different cities I've lived, thus different therapists (& types: psychologist, psychiatrist, LCSW - Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Art Therapist), the longest over a period of 20 years with a psychiatrist):
- HOW did you know it was working?
- WHAT was it that worked for you (I know we're all different, even if the issue/s arise from similar origins)?
- WHEN &/or HOW LONG did it take?

I hope my Qs aren't overwhelming or asking too much - I sincerely hope they are not. But I genuinely don't know how or why I have not been able to resolve the family issues I (and my sister) have struggled with ALL of our lives, especially considering the amount of time and different professionals I have gone to and interacted with.

Not to mention that I have never felt that I got many answers, let alone specific guidance, on how to live with these vague, nebulous issues plaguing me all my life. The closest my last therapist (the psychiatrist of over 20 years) got to giving me specifics was that I was / am struggling with a "developmental" disability? issue? rooted in early childhood - the earliest of the Erikson's 8 Stages of Development:
Stage One: Infancy – Basic trust versus mistrust...
...and that since it is "developmental", it basically won't (entirely?) resolve, but it can be "managed" (How??!!??)...

And, I believe I was raised by two parents who were/are (clinically) narcissistic (NPD - one overt, one covert), not to mention their likely additional conditions that will never be addressed, let alone acknowledged). Not to mention how - privately - they very stealthily made each other miserable, while I stood by and watched as a growing child, vowing I would never live like that - thus never marrying in spite of constantly looking for connection, and never having children, though I'm not certain that was as much of a decision as a by-product of not finding someone, and ultimately not desiring to raise children.

Didn't intend to go on so much, and maybe this is better for a separate thread, but I would greatly appreciate hearing how you figured out who/what would work best for you - esp. with the benefit of hindsight now.

Thank you, and my sincere wishes for everyone to find ways to make sense of this journey.

Thanks very much for checking on me. My son did finally book and saw the GP. He was refereed to a local psychologist and he has been talking to her online. Am starting to see him coming out now and again. Like last evening I asked him to join me for a walk and he did and we did 5 kms!! This is something i have not seen him do in the last 4 months, I thank God. I hope we will keep doing this more. Fingers crossed!

@bosmac This is indeed positive news. I hope as you continue to invite him to join you for a walk that he will agree. By talking to the psychologist "online" do you mean virtual visits on the computer - like Zoom?

It can be so hard to allow adult children to go through these incredible things on their own, which they necessarily have to do. It is so great to do what one can and then stand by and be encouraging, even if and when it all has a a bad day. Saying things like, "I believe in you." really helps. So does honest, caring, soft feedback WHEN ASKED FOR or, at least, GENTLY, as in, "Do you mind if I give you some feedback?" Getting them to appointments, if appropriate to your situation, can be very supportive.

Then just stand by. Quit talking when your point has gotten across. Give love.

The Bidens are giving the nation a good example of giving love to their son and being there, standing by, without rescuing him.

Lauree, I am sending you lots of hugs back. Please take good care of you.

Thanks for your words of wisdom in a great crisis. I will try the tips you have given me here. It gets harder when he is a grown up man and shows inability and unwillingness to do small steps towards recovery. Like coming out and sitting in the sun to absorb vitamin D but instead prefers to sleep whole day( here in eastern Australia is currently a very cold winter). I will keep trying to help him even as i also have my own medical issues ( chronic kidney disease, diabetes and a rare blood conditon called ET) that need my attention daily . Once again thanks for your support.

Hallelujah,

Now this is exactly what I need. I am so anxious to read more. My daughter is 44. I hav