Preparing to Age in Place

Yes, for me downsizing clothing, household goods, even art & sewing supplies, even holiday decorations is not difficult. I was even able, after much thought, to curate my large collection of handmade jewelry and move some to new homes.
However it is HARD to part with our many beloved paintings, prints, photos (ours and others) from our travels and family photos & snapshots that we would need a small museum to hang them all. We have kept our favorites on display and are letting the rest go to new homes - no more hiding in closets!
I have passed on many pieces of china, glassware and pottery, leaving only my favorite pieces. Though I am still not ready to part with all of them, I will be making "still life" portraits (with a proper background) of those as well as Native Art - baskets, pottery, jewelry & our collection of fossils this summer.
So I am photographing them and adding them to our electronic photo display frame, where there is a constantly rotating display. We can enjoy them year round without taking up space.
It travels with us when we go to our tiny house in the South, and is on the living room wall here in our somewhat larger home.
When the time comes to "say goodbye" to these last bits, we will have a memento. At least the Native pieces and fossils will find homes with our kids and grandkids, as well as a few select pieces of wall art and glassware.
My last problem is our furniture. Nearly every wooden piece is classic oak, simply styled and over 90 years old - I know we will have to choose among these pieces when we down-size - I just hope it is far enough down the road that our grandsons or great nieces and nephews will be making their homes and will appreciate simple, quality pieces.
Sue

Downsizing IS extremely difficult and individualized. I’m going very slowly, bit by bit. Even after transpacific moves, I still have too many things like big portraits and art but no walls to hang them. Letting go of treasures and sweet memories attached to them was depressing for me. Taking pictures has helped bring them back to my mind. My kids want or need very little. Even their first tooth! They don’t have the room. Their lifestyles are very different than our generations. A more casual, simple social cultures and new traditions with friends and family are the norm today. I had to switch my sad way of thinking, while letting go of possessions, to feeling good knowing that someone will be happy to find and use my things. That has helped me tremendously. Recycle/repurpose, as my granddaughter always suggests. I also think my children would appreciate not having to clear out my home after I’m gone.

Thank you! How helpful your comment is that ¨knowing someone will be happy to find and use my things.¨ That may make it easier to let go of things I´ve treasured, but that don´t interest my adult children at all. Someone out there will be happy to find and use my things.
What a gift your comment is!

I want to share briefly how Covid seriously damaged the social aspects of our lives and how we are beginning to build new connections.
Because of my wife's multiple illnesses we are especially cautious. We have taken all vaccines and boosters, continue to wear masks in stores and only eat out in restaurants that offer outdoor seating. We have avoided Covid. We monitor the local statistics, and continue to be concerned about respiratory illnesses.

As it turned out, there were some "anti-vaxxers" in our co-housing community and thus irreconcilable differences about use of the common building. We stopped having community meals and eventually there was a serious breakdown of the sense of community, which is still not healed.
It seems that once people begin to "take sides" the topics of disagreement expand and arguments become very ugly.

Something very similar happened in my faith community and I've left a religion which I followed regularly for 30 years.
And something very similar happened in the professional organization in which I played a leading role for 20 years. Fortunately it was time for me to retire.

I was a community and faith believer, and was so heartbroken that I had real concerns about what was happening to my health. Sometimes I felt a small number of sustaining community friendships kept me alive.
My wife's illnesses were already causing her to isolate, and the Covid-related conflicts brought her to a point of just wanting to move and run away from everything. Her health is much, much better now and she can imagine living again. And traveling to visit a newborn grand-baby!

This year some new families have moved into our community, and their fresh spirits have been very heartwarming. I've found a path to participation that I can follow.
Outdoors, the community woods and the barn, are areas where I have something to offer and two of the new families are very interested in those areas.
The community members with whom I was most uncomfortable aren't interested in those areas.
We can participate safely in woods and barn activities without wearing masks.
My wife loves the woods very much and the new activities are drawing her out of her "shell."
Our dogs have developed friendships with several of the new kids, a very beautiful thing to share.

So, that is a brief outline of four of the most emotionally painful years of my life.
I can feel that things are coming back to life, and how much I need them.
I suspect I'm not alone in this experience.
This community is also a place where I have been able to connect with people.
I am grateful, and hope I haven't over-shared.

Ed, this was a wonderful report - sadly many people have experienced the same "breakdowns" due to differing views. But you and your wife have gone the next step, which is to rebuild your community connections to suit you.

I know from years in a small winter community how fragile the connections can be, and how little it can take to break them, and how hard it can be to heal and/or rebuild.

Like you, I am the point of reevaluating one of my long-time volunteer roles - still trying to decide if it is time to retire, or to "wait out" yet another round of leadership changes because of my passion for the group and close connections to other members. On of my close friends keeps saying "We've been through this before - we're still here and they are gone" but the older I get the more I value peaceful interactions and try to avoid stressful ones...

Yes, Sue, I agree with you. Relationships can be fragile and our hearts are susceptible to much pain.
My greatest tool for guidance is God's Word, his love letter to us. One nugget of wisdom: "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." What makes this do-able is the part about "as far as it depends on you". So we can be at peace with ourselves if we have done what we could ("what is possible"). The rest is up to others. Peace and blessings, Barb

I have long relied on the Serenity Prayer:
Lord help me to accept the things I cannot change,
The strength to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
The image blow is the other way I am learning (after all these years) to live in peace and contentment.