Aren't you tired of living and waiting for things to get better?

Bunny,
You are reaching out which tells me you have some hope, even if it is a wee bit. And, you've made health appointments - more evidence there is hope within you. Your issues do sound like a blend of mental and physical discomfort. And, I commend you for taking action, despite your depression and lack of energy. Please keep us posted. I am sending you good energy and healing thoughts.

My apologies. I responded during a low point this am.

@esikora, I'm sorry that you were experiencing a low point this morning. Thank you for returning to apologize. Sending a virtual hug.

Please have a plan for what to do when you are at that very low place. Suicide and Crisis Prevention Hotline - 988 is a place you can call when you are in crisis. Call instead of making plans. Are there friends that you can call to talk with? If you are in or near Zumbro Valley Health Center, they have different numbers or text that you can use. As one of my relatives was told by the psychiatrist - Anything instead of dieing.

Lately, I've been thinking of my depression as a an illness like any other and maybe it takes finding ways to cope with the illness one step at a time. Take a few baby steps.

I can relate to that feeling! I know how I felt anyway. Maybe my experience can help you. First I had to accept that Exhaustion is a symptom of depression, right? Depression is physical as well as mental.
I try to get outdoors as soon as I get up in the morning, even just for a few minutes. And other times, I’ve found it just helps to sleep! I tell myself that I’ll feel better when I wake up and more often than not, I do.
I also have a dog and a cat…they depend on me for food, water and attention. I talk to them. Sometimes after I feed them and Daisy the dog gets her outside time, we “take a vote” to see if we need a morning nap!
You need a reason to keep going but you also need to be kind to yourself.
It’s taken me a long time, it seems, to realize this. I’m 72.
So, get your rest, maybe get a check-up to see if there’s another reason for exhaustion (low iron, vitamin D deficiency, chronic fatigue syndrome…?) and be kind to yourself.

I know what you mean. Eat better, rest, do yoga...blah, blah, blah. I have done it all, and if you are basically healthy, I’m sure these things improve your health.
Who can think about a healthy diet when you can barely get out of bed??
Herbal tea is not going to fix me!

I believe my depression is because of prolonged health issues. But, as no doctor has been able to find anything to treat, doctors (many) all suggest SSRI, which don’t agree with me. I’m trying my 8th one now. So I’m dizzier, nauseated and even more constipated.

At some point it starts to feel pointless.
I try to keep some hope going but WOW it is hard!

I wish you all the best, and hope a treatment can be found to get you back to yourself again.

Depression is different for everyone. It is not possible to know what another person has gone through from one post. Over the years, I have heard responses such as, "It could be worse," " Just don't feel that way" or other comments from people who don't want to listen or face their own feelings. I've learned to ignore those comments. But the good advice from the people in this conversation is helpful.

I have felt the same way ever since I had a psychotic episode at age six, fifty-four years ago. I rate my level of suicidality on a scale of 0 to 10. Zero means no depression (which has never happened) 10; I'm dead. Most mornings, I wake up at about 8. By late afternoon, I can work my way down to a 3. By the time I return to bed, I'll be around 5.

I've recently tried to treat my depression like any chronic illness that needs daily management.

Here is what I do:

I wake up at 6:00 am every day. I get right up before I can start thinking.
I am usually out of the house by 7:30 after going through my morning ritual. I am still trying not to think, just act.
I exercise for two hours every day.
I then have coffee at a local place and collect my thoughts. By now, I can think without dropping into hell.
I work on projects that are meaningful to me until five.
I read or watch TV (I hate television but I live with my mother and she likes it).
In bed between 9:30 and 10:00.

Weekends are more challenging as they are less planned.
It sucks having to keep such a rigged schedule. For now, it's working, so I stay with it.
I also try not to eat food that makes me feel worse. For me, that is refined sugar and highly processed foods.

I also use my phone to keep track of my thoughts. I am a very different person at a three than I am at an eight. Sometimes, when I'm eight, it helps to read things I felt as a three. It also allows me to see how tragic my thinking was when I was eight or worse.

I believe I have been depressed for so long that the neuropathways leading to depression are like super highways. I know my brain can reroute these pathways. I try very hard to change my thinking as the negative thoughts creep in. Once they get a hold of me, it is difficult to impossible to change them.

Depression, for me, is a chronic condition like diabetes. I can treat it but can't cure it. I still bounce back and forth between wanting to die right now and just looking forward to when my life will be over. My work gives me purpose every once in a while, and I don't actively think of dying.

I wish you peace and good health.

Hi Tere!
Good advice! Especially the iron, and vitamin D deficiency and being kind to yourself. I'm 77 and find that I need to just stop during the day, sit down and either get on the computer or read a good book. I also take extra iron tablets that really help. Then I'm ready for more tasks during the day.

Daisy sounds cute! What is your cat's name?
PML

Her name is Willa…older silver tabby. Here’s pics: