It sounds like your doing a great job adjusting. I'm sure it's hard for your wife having so much control and now she has very little. This control should be thought as independence. How can you help her feel independent and in control in the space and situation she has?

Can you ask her to write you a detailed To Do List? She can detail it, and also help with your loss in communication due to your hearing. This may also help you prioritize your schedule to let others help or just help you from feeling overwhelmed. Having a friend come visit will also give her autonomy.

It's OKAY to tell her Thank you! You have done so much and it's ALOT. It's my turn to help, but understand it's not going to be perfect.

I'm a caregiver to my spouse going from heart failure to transplant recipient. The double work load is hard. Give yourself grace. Plan some fun activities: movie and popcorn, game night. Keep the situation as light as possible.