Keys to a Successful Doctor's Appointment

This is a great topic. I think first we should establish the goals of the appointment - especially important for patients with multiple related conditions. For example lung cancer has other lung issues and possible related heart issues. Treatment decisions must consider all factors.
And with the increased use of PAs and NPs, they come in, interview the patient in an unstructured way, and the doctor rushes in, dependent on the accuracy of the PA/NP who also seems to write up the notes after. I have found several inaccuracies in their notes.
For patients with multiple related conditions, I envision a more structured appointment in a framework specifically designed to fit the patient, that would include an update of related issues to the main illness for each visit.

I had an appt for a consultation with gastroenterology dept to determine if I needed an colonoscopy. Prior to my visit I was sent forms to be filled out regarding general info, meds, previous surgeries. I did not see the doctor but a nurse practitioner which was fine.
I have prepared a list of questions and concerns that I wanted to address. First of all all the forms that I took the time to fill out were never even looked at. Most of the questions that the nurse asked me were addressed on the pre-filled out forms, they were never even looked out. When I mention I had questions that I wanted to ask, she asked me if I could do it quickly to wrap it up.
It seems that most doctors/nurses are running late on their apps so they rush us through to make sure they don’t miss lunch etc.
I don’t know how they comprehend anything hat we say as they never stop typing on the computers long enough to listen.
Our Health Care System certainly needs some overhaul…The Insurance Companies have to much power in patients getting quality care….

From my perspective, doctors are not in the customer service business. I think of it as a business transaction, and in business transactions, the best way to have a successful outcome is to speak in a way that resonates with them. Should the other party (doctor) also try this? Sure but in the end it is me who wants something of them, so I have to go that extra mile and try, not always successfully, to build that relationship , just like in business.

I would also caution throwing around the Hippocratic Oath, as the easiest way to do no harm is to do nothing at all, i.e. not accept you as a patient which is becoming all the more common these days.

I find that to be a narrow view of professions. By that definition, you’d have to learn how to speak legalese, tax, or actuarially, in order to get an attorney, accountant, or actuary to help you. Instead, those professions listen to their clients, do their research, and figure out a way to talk to their clients about it. Doctors shouldn’t be any different.

And doing nothing is doing harm for people who need care and are prevented from it because a doctor is unwilling to investigate or spend time learning about something about which they are unfamiliar.

Finally, people with CFS/Fibromyalgia/Lymes and other “mystery illnesses” have been fighting for respect for years, so these expectations aren’t new.

Maybe I am misreading this thread but it seems that a number of people are lamenting the lack of good diagnostions. That is an art that very few seem to excel at. Pulling what seems to be disparate pieces of information together and extracting the underlying issue.

You are preaching to the choir on getting respect. I have had Fibromyalgia for more than 35 years and have dealt with way too many “it’s just in your head” mentality. I learned not to mention it at Mayo specifically as any mention would prompt a “would you like to talk to a psychiatrist?” question.

If I have a run of the mill legal or tax, etc. issue then sure, don’t have to do much. If I have a complex legal, tax, etc. issue, then I will put in the time/effort to speak in their language so there is zero confusion or misunderstanding. In the end, any misunderstanding is more likely to affect me than it is the attorney, accountant, etc.

If I put in the effort and fail, at least I tried. If I don’t put in the effort and fail, am I blameless in the failure? I am jaded enough to know doctors aren’t just waiting for me to walk in so they can put there hero cape on and save the day. They are overworked, stressed by the system, and have bad days just like the rest of us.

Let me put it this way - what you’re saying is practical and is closer to reality in what people need to do. I’m saying that this isn’t how it “should be”. In my expectations (and knowledge of the system) they get paid well for all the stress that comes with the profession, and since they are not accountable to their patients, the power dynamic in the relationship is such that managing up to them isn’t likely to yield fruit in my opinion. However, I recognize that taking the little power we do have by figuring out how to talk to them makes us feel better, so I give you credit for taking that initiative. I’m in a different place and am too frustrated to be willing to manage up to them. I’m sure that will change as time goes on, but for now, I can’t give that to them.

I participate in my care. Sometimes, I need to challenge the MDs, and they do appreciate it, some. They are too busy with patients, so they have no time to be updated unless it's an .edu medical institution and still. For example, I demanded—yes, demanded—to have one medication for epilepsy removed due to very bad side effects. How? I participated in the All of Us Genome Project. Lo and behold, the third medication on the list? Onfi, the culprit.

That is exactly 100% correct/ my motto is to get involved in my care , when I go I'm armed with info to help them and myself.

For all my adult life, when I visit the doctor I always bring a list of things I want to discuss. I've found this so helpful. I keep a notepad on my desk and whenever I think of something to ask the doctor I jot it down & date it. Sometimes there are only 2 or 3 questions, and other times a few more than that. It's also very helpful to have a friend or relative attend the appointments with you just to take notes for you. That way you can more easily talk with the doctor knowing his answers are being written down.