How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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Telephome operator: 'Incontinence Hotline. Please hold. Someone will be with you shortly"

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@tim1028

Telephome operator: 'Incontinence Hotline. Please hold. Someone will be with you shortly"

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Don't know why they use the term "incontinence".

If you've run out of room for your contents, how come it's not "out of continence"?

That's the term I could more easily countenance.

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@tim1028

Telephome operator: 'Incontinence Hotline. Please hold. Someone will be with you shortly"

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I solved my incontinence problem by spending more time at sea.

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My pet insurance offers a discount if you have three or more mallards, but with all of the de-duck-tibles, it's basically a wash.

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Thanks to all you good folks who post a laugh here. It brightens my day.

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"A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, 'I hope you die a long, slow, painful death.' He turned around and
said, 'So, you want me to stay?'"

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A Husband and Wife at Custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex wife: "I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?"

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The house was clean yesterday. . .
Sorry you missed it.

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@jakedduck1

A Husband and Wife at Custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex wife: "I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?"

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If I were the judge, I'd have to side with the wife.

The husband, having put money into the Pepsi machine, is the
of-vending party.

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@shirleyrawlins

The house was clean yesterday. . .
Sorry you missed it.

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The burglars of the Pine-Sol factory were never caught.

They made a clean getaway.

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