How long takes to recover from broken marriage

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Four months is not very long to go through all the emotions one might feel after such a shock. I would think it might take much longer to process it. Have you talked with a counselor about it? Do you have close friends that you can confide in? You could also talk to your primary doctor and explain how you’re feeling. You can ask him about medication and if that might be an option for you. I hope you find something to help you feel better. I’ve had my heart broken before and the only thing that helped me was time. After about a year, I stopped feeling so much pain.

I do have therapist and friends to talk. 😢 not big fun of medication. I don't want to feel numb, I just don't want to be sad.

1 year is very long time 🥺🥺🥺

Yes, I am a very sensitive person, but I am resilient. I’ve learned to feel my feelings and not try to be something I’m not. It’s ok to not be strong. Of course, I realize you want to feel better. I wish you all the best. Also, I would get a consultation with a family law attorney to find out your legal rights.

Good morning🌞

I am sorry for you for your sadness and the hurt you are going thru.

I trust in time you will realize he doesn’t deserve you & you are so wonderful of a person. Reach for the stars they are yours to find.

Therapy , keeping busy, new interests , excersise is so important with an healthy diet and giving back like volunteering will open up your heart to new places, people and your many blessings. Yes easier said than done but you will be so happy again!

Take care of you !!

I agree about working out. Having a schedule of going to the gym and working out really helps me feel good. Also, as my body looks and feels stronger, if gives me greater confidence. Plus, there are nice people there who I look forward to socializing with.

Hello @marinaorlic and welcome to Mayo Connect. I am so sorry for your loss. This is not an easy road, @marinaorlic. It might take a year or more of diligent effort to make this adjustment. The time needed to recover from this loss is dependent on many factors such as how long you were married, the quality of your relationship, etc.

All of us, who have experienced the loss of a marriage or other long-term relationship, understand that you are hurting right now and that is normal. You are grieving the loss of the marriage, but also the loss of a dream. You had expectations of what your life would be like, and those expectations have met with profound dissapointment.

Realize that these feelings will take time to resolve. I am glad that you have a therapist and friends. Support of this type will help you as you adjust to a new normal.

Medication was mentioned, and you commented that, "I don't want to feel numb, I just don't want to be sad." There are antidepressant medications that are not numbing in the same way that tranquilizers might be. You might consider talking with a medical doctor about something that would be helpful to you as you recover from this experience. Sometimes, these medications are quite helpful to give you a bit more energy to adapt to the changes you are experiencing.

What activities do you enjoy that might get you out of house and also get your mind on other things? Do you like to read, walk, go to the movies, go out to lunch with friends? It is sometimes helpful to decide on one thing to do, every day, that might take your mind off of your hurt, disappointment, and betrayal.

Think of one thing that you could do each day and set up a schedule for the week. I would also encourage you to write about your feelings. On Connect there is a discussion group called, Journaling - The Write Stuff for You?" Here is the link to that discussion, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/journaling-the-write-stuff-for-you/. I would encourage you to read the posts in that group. Here you will find many people who are going through the transitions of life, both physical changes and emotional changes, by journaling.

Might journaling be helpful? What about setting up a calendar listing one event each day, that will give you satisfaction?

I look forward to hearing from you again!

@marinaorlic I went through a divorce with a man that I later learned cheated on my multiple times. We were married for 16 years. Others knew about the cheating and I did not. He left me for another woman and in retrospect I realized that he'd "left" all sorts of clues along the way that I did not pick up on at the time. Like you, he erased me from his life which was very evident as we worked at the same university and crossed paths multiple times. When the marriage ended I was sad yet also very angry. I realized that I could use that anger to get things done. We did not have children frankly he saw no urgency in getting the divorce over with but I certainly did. Still, it took 15 months to finalize. During the process of divorce I was visiting with a high school friend and her parents. Her father told me that one day I would meet a kind man who would be good to me. That happened 7 years after the divorce was final and I had the opportunity to tell my friend's father how much his words meant to me.

Give yourself this time for sadness and grieving over your loss. Please do what you need to do to care for yourself and your dogs.

Will you come back here for support and let us know how you are feeling?

Yes I will. 🩵🩵🩵

I am very sorry for your pain, I know it all too well.

My wife left me ten years ago under extreme circumstances.

She took our children and everything we had with her. Ten years later I still love her and miss her every day. Unfortunately for me, my love for her was not contingent on her love for me. My love for my children also was not contingent on them loving me.

A therapist once asked me why I hold on to the pain. I told him it was because it was all I had.

Sometimes I'm angry, but most of the time I just miss them. Missing people I love seems reasonable. The sadness is no longer debilitating, it's just part of who I am.

I hope you find peace in your sadness.

My heart goes out to you, Marina. I am sending you loving thoughts. It is ok to feel sad. It is normal, given your situation. Allow yourself to grieve and this too shall pass. I agree with others. Do the best you can to get busy and do things that bring you health, radiance and joy. Living well is the best revenge!