Esophageal Cancer stage 4: How do you deal with their anger?

I would say that anger is a normal response to perceived unfair treatment in this world. Helping them express it in ways that are healthy and not directed at those he loves. Beating a pillow with a bat!! It’s ok to express it. Journaling or verbalizing while you write about his feelings and emotions. Love letter to family members to reflect on his life.

That's a lot of trauma events for one person. Crisis like that tends to throw us into a " fight or flight" type response. Multi issues, even more so. It must be really hard for you as well.
When your emotion is that high, the cognitive processes aren't functioning well.
The key is usually multifaceted,
Finding someone to talk to , to allow you to process all the emotions involved. It can be a professional, a faith leader like a pastor or rabbi etc, a good friend who is just willing to listen and not really give advice. Most cancer centers and hospitals have chaplains as well , who are trained in supporting individuals in crisis.
Then also getting them to see hope in the future...
doing or participating in things they enjoy, being outside in nature, being in awe of creation
all helps bring emotions down.

For you, thank you for your support of him.
This has to be really hard for you as well. Remember that at times of crisis, sometimes the worst comes out of us, we can even act out of character due to the high levels of stress.

Please do self care for you as well.

Do you have anyone you can talk to? Can you get some respite care for him to give you a break?

@aknicoleg73, I’m sure this is a very difficult time. Anger is a natural stage of acceptance, and I’m hoping for your sake he can move through that stage. If not, he may need some professional help, and his cancer center may be able to connect him with someone for to talk to. They may be able to help you too.
You may want to check out the Caregivers group of Mayo Connect too.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/caregivers/

I have esophageal cancer stage 4 and last year I was not in a good place .
Why me ,I’m a good guy but cancer doesn’t care
I went to UNC and support was was and is unbelievable
14 months later cancer is gone and surgery is not needed but to be sure they are going to radiate for 4weeks .
Listen to the doctors ,one food in front of the other and think positive because your body is following your lead .
You can make a difference in your treatment and your life
Good a luck and I will keep you in my prayers
Retired from the NYPD
I had someone I didn’t know call and offered the advice above and now he is12 savior
Keep the faith and get tough on cancer

Omg your post just gave me so much hope for my husband. Thank you. Thank you for your service as well.

@red77465, how are you and your husband doing?

@aknicoleg73 I just read your post about your husband and his multiple diagnoses. Or, should I say, both of your diagnoses. And anger is to be expected, but it’s never nice to deal with. How is he doing now? Has the terrible anger subsided any? And how are you doing?
What are you doing specifically for yourself?

Hi. Today, not so good. My son had to call 911 because my husband fell on the floor and couldn't get up. He had a black BM and my son said it smelled horrid. Per the ER doctor he has follicular colitis, and needs a blood transfusion because his hemoglobin is at 6.5. This cancer is the devil! Thank you so much for checking on us.

That is a lot to handle. Thank goodness your son is there to help too. Has your husband been admitted to hospital for the transfusion and for further observation?

Yes. almost 2 weeks ago he was hospital for Mensetry Ischemia, and severe sepsis. Came home did well skipped Chemo last week, was set for Chemo Wednesday and here we are today back in hospital with follicular colitis, and low hemoglobin. So they had to check for antibodies before this transfusion since he had one not too long ago. It is alot to handle. I am doing the best I can, but some days it gets really hard. I keep thinking he's gonna beat this one too. He's survived through so much. I just keep praying for peace that surpasses all understanding. He was fine yesterday, no complaints of pain or anything.