How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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itchyd | @itchyd | Mar 24 9:14am

In reply to @captboat "Lollygagging was as bad as “playing the Army game”, pretending to work, when you were “playing-around”." + (show)

It's the military way .... working hard or hardly working ... never could tell ...

I went the NAVY way ...
Never Again Volunteer Yourself!

By your leave, Captain.

itchyd | @itchyd | Mar 24 9:16am

In reply to @kamama94 "What did the horse say after falling down? I've fallen and I can/t giddyup. (Terrible, I..." + (show)

Horse jokes, Scott!

Horse jokes!

itchyd | @itchyd | Mar 24 9:18am

In reply to @kamama94 "Waiter to customer: How did you find your steak? Customer: I looked next to the potatoes..." + (show)

Then the customer asked the waiter to call him a cab and .... well, you know...

itchyd | @itchyd | Mar 24 9:24am

In reply to @kamama94 "911 Operator: What's your emergency? Man: My friend just got hit by a car, he needs..." + (show)

That's a great old gag ... Way back in the 80's, there was a Chicago DJ named Steve Dahl at WCFL (if I remember right) who told a version using local city street names ...

Dahl was the guy who organized the famous Disco Demolition night during the intermission of a White Sox doubleheader that started a small riot when they blew up thousands of disco records in center field.

itchyd | @itchyd | Mar 24 9:28am

In reply to @kamama94 "Lollygagging - when you put the lollipop to far into your mouth" + (show)

I've always been a sucker for lollipop jokes.

kamama94 | @kamama94 | Mar 24 10:33am

In reply to @itchyd "I've always been a sucker for lollipop jokes." + (show)

What a great pun!

Scott R L | @scottrl | Mar 24 11:45am

In reply to @itchyd "Horse jokes, Scott! Horse jokes!" + (show)

My favorite horse joke, which is also a true story:

My wife and I were watching the annual Fort Worth Stock Show parade one year.

As the Paint Horse organization rode past on their beautiful mounts, my wife noticed that one of the paints was very shaggy.

She asked, 'Why does that horse have such long hair?"

I replied, "Obviously, that paint needed a second coat."

One of my all-time best comebacks, I think.

captboat | @captboat | Mar 24 10:15pm

In reply to @itchyd "It's the military way .... working hard or hardly working ... never could tell ... I..." + (show)

Aye,aye!

captboat | @captboat | Mar 26 3:07pm

[noun]
{calories }
/ pronounce/kal-uh-rees
tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.

itchyd | @itchyd | Mar 27 7:21am

In reply to @captboat "[noun] {calories } / pronounce/kal-uh-rees tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes..." + (show)

I once tried explaining to a young niece that the calories listed on a nutrition label are not the same as the standard calorie (defined as the energy required to raise the temperature of a gram of H2O by 1 degC) but are actually kilocalories, or 1000 times more than the standard. She thought I said "killer" calories and was afraid to eat her lunch! Her Mom suggested that the next time I mansplain to a child, I use the terms "big" and "little" calories, instead.