Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

Posted by sally12345 @sally12345, Sep 13, 2023

Hi, I'm almost 64.. I'm feeling old and useless. My strength isn't good anymore. Like it used to be mainly side effects of meds. My health is poor with cvsd. Osteoporosis, poor circulation, hearing , eyesight, you name it's going. I always took care of myself. Now I've gotten older and everything's wrong, my grandkids don't a want me around and they are little still. No friends to talk with or do things with. Why is it we spend our lifetime taking care of family. Loving friends to end up , old and tired. Useless.

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@cdesharn

The funny thing is I have so many things to be positive about but am unable to enjoy it because of my anxiety over the illnesses I’m suffering from. Probably caused by the anxiety in the first place and now can’t seem to recover from which is causing more anxiety. My therapist and doctors are really trying as are my poor husband, friends and family but until I get answers for my illnesses, I feel stuck and defeated.

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Have you considered what you will do if the answers never come?
Although medicine had made great strides, there are still many things unknown. I will never know why my immune system "ramps up" and makes my whole body hurt sometimes. But I learned, through pain rehab, how to cope with self-care, PT, meditation, distraction and minimal (non-opioid) meds.
Many days I feel like curling up in a ball and not getting out of bed, but I force myself into the shower, go through my morning routine, do stretches or exercise or senior yoga (depending) on the day. Then I go forward and do what I can - some days a lot, some days only a little.
But pleasant things - talking to my husband, friends, kids and grands, pursuing hobbies, helping others - makes me forget how much I hurt. On the other hand, if I drop into my recliner, I focus on my aches and pains.
Have you tried to "just fake it" to distract yourself? You may find you feel less defeated.
Sue

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@cdesharn

Hi,
I’m 62 and feel like I’m 82 right now. I’m in the middle of a mental and medical health crisis right now where the drs can’t figure out what’s wrong and I’ve been suffering for months with no quality of life. Now I believe it’s an MS relapse from all the anxiety and stress and will hopefully find out today from the Neurologist. Would love to finally get a resolution so I can get the proper meds and start to feel better again. Reading all your posts makes me feel a little better when I feel incredibly alone in my suffering.

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I’m 69 feeling like 89. I have a lot of “battle wounds” causing me pain when I’m on my feet or sitting too long. L4 and L5 caged and a sprained foot. My friends are still enjoying the sports we used to play in the past…I pushed them away, it’s up to me to allow them back into my life 🥰

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How can I live like this with my mouth hurting constantly, losing my hair, unexplained weight loss, chronic insomnia, stomachaches, palpitations? I’m trying but I feel stifled. Seeing everyone enjoy their lives hurts, including my husband who walks everyday and wants to plan vacations with me. Everyone is trying to support me but they’re not living in my body and suffering. Everyone has their pains especially at this age but this is overwhelming me.

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@cdesharn

The funny thing is I have so many things to be positive about but am unable to enjoy it because of my anxiety over the illnesses I’m suffering from. Probably caused by the anxiety in the first place and now can’t seem to recover from which is causing more anxiety. My therapist and doctors are really trying as are my poor husband, friends and family but until I get answers for my illnesses, I feel stuck and defeated.

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I can relate completely to what you're feeling. I've spent years with the "what if it's something bad" mindset and though I still don't know how to stop it, I do know it's been a complete waste of time and energy! Maybe we can BOTH learn to switch the thinking to "what if it's NOTHING to worry about?!

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@prcrowe

I can relate completely to what you're feeling. I've spent years with the "what if it's something bad" mindset and though I still don't know how to stop it, I do know it's been a complete waste of time and energy! Maybe we can BOTH learn to switch the thinking to "what if it's NOTHING to worry about?!

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I always think the worst. Glass half empty. How can I feel this bad and it’s nothing or it’s all caused by my anxiety. Seems crazy to me. Going for some CT scans today to try to get some answers and see whether it’s something to worry about or not. Anxiety is such a destructive force! Thanks for reaching out!!

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Controlling anxiety is worse than controlling a medical condition. Just had some testing done and it seems that all my problems were caused by anxiety. Amazing how it takes hold of you and cripples you where you feel there’s no end in sight. Really working each day to get better but it’s a slow process. Trying to hang in there as all of you.

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My dog thinks I'm the most important person in the world.
She wakes me up every morning, her tail wagging and tapping in her crate next to my bed. I let her out on my way to the bathroom, then we have a quick morning cuddle and sprint downstairs to let her out for her bathroom trip. Her breakfast comes next, then mine as she waits for a lick of peanut butter or an apple slice.
The first 30 minutes of my day are filled with purpose and pure enjoyment at being alive.
My dog just may be the most important person in my world!

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@cdesharn

Controlling anxiety is worse than controlling a medical condition. Just had some testing done and it seems that all my problems were caused by anxiety. Amazing how it takes hold of you and cripples you where you feel there’s no end in sight. Really working each day to get better but it’s a slow process. Trying to hang in there as all of you.

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The anxiety attack I had some ten years ago (80 now) that choked my breath so that I jumped out of my bed before dawn turned out to be the result of something I was fretting about 'too much' though in hindsight I still believe it was 'worth' feeling that bad -- I suddenly found the four full-time years of seven days a week on my 'labor of love' writing work is what no book agent seems to be interested in.
When I asked what assurance I've that I won't have it tonight, I was offered 'we can watch you if u wish.' Of course I slept well, confident that help wud be instantly provided. I was offered CBT. I said I know that; I can do it myself. Thinking CLEARLY we all can, and do, as we GROW UP. I grew up when I accepted that in this world, EVEN when we work HARD, the results may not be what YOU Expect. If I do not accept or even willing to 'know' that this is what happens in LIFE then I AM DOOMED.

I hope my story helps you find some way out of your anxiety -- before it saps more health and joy away from your body and mind -- and the health you still have.

(Often I get my kick-to-live when I hear news such as the Pussy Riots leader when asked, 'don't you worry about your getting imprisoned,' she said, "I don't have time for that." The interviewer had to repeat her answer to be sure. That's a woman I get a jolt of energy to Live on -- even as I feel the demands of the old age.) But now (11 pm) I'll get from an hour of classical music on radio; I do hope you will get yours.

P.S. Didn't you notice in your answer to the water in the glass you Are Already Half the Way There?

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I don’t sleep well, I don’t eat well, I don’t feel well so how can I get back to a normal state of being? Things happen in life to everyone but I feel I’ve been dealt a tougher hand than some others and how do I get past that. Working on it in therapy. I realize I’m older now, 62, and maybe it’s a new normal, but this really sucks. Glass half empty feels like the glass got taller or less empty sometimes when feeling stuck but I know progress is slow. Christian meditation in the morning is helpful plus weekly therapy. Now meeting a new Psychiatrist this week will possibly open up new opportunities for sleep and anxiety meds but I was really hoping for a more natural approach. These palpitations make joy and sleep impossible. Appreciate the stories!

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