Husband diagnosed MCI: He is in denial and personality is changing

My situation is so so similar. My husband was recently diagnosed with MCI. He has outbursts also over very minor things too like leaving a door open too long or not putting something back 'in its place' when the place has changed 5x in the last week. Ugh, so difficult! I get frustrated and have to continue to remind myself his brain isnt working correctly. Sometimes its hard tho to walk away and let it go. I want to state my case or explain myself but in the end, it really doesn't matter. My trick has been to gently change the subject. If that doesn't work, I put in my headphones and move to a different room...walk away. The doctor told him today he has to stay socially and physically active. Ive seen that help him when he's in a mood. Hoping we can find new activities that will help!! Im so glad I found this site and group!! It has helped to know I'm not alone!

I too have to work on my reactions

The loneliness is almost unbearable as I have lost my best friend who is still here with me but not in the same way. I spent the day doing paperwork to keep up our home, get meds, cook and because I was not with my husband most of the day he mentally drifted away from me more than normal then argued over simplistic things. This is a tremendous change in his personality as he was a brilliant architect and now especially he is no longer being able to analyze and make decisions with me. I now think for both of us and it is just so very lonely but then I think I would die if he was gone. So very sad. I don’t know how to cope with the loss I am experiencing and the greater loss to come.

My earlier response was cut before I finished writing but it sounds like you have some great coping skills including your headphone use and just walking away

Welcome to this group that I found on one of my teary days. My husband was diagnosed with MCI in March 2023 but showed memory issues much earlier. I have posted some long replies. Yes there are subtle personality changes-more anxiety, irritability and conversations are different. We are married 50 years and yes, the relationship changes but we are still enjoying each other as long as I practice patience and keep my sense of humor and empathy. I’ll reply more and see what others say. This is so helpful.

Ditto ditto. Same here in so many ways. Good thing he doesn’t remember when I lose it. Staying social and getting exercise are the most important. I will write more later.

Thank you for sharing this. I thought it was just me having those reactions to my husband’s MCI. Just knowing others are in the same place is extremely helpful.

Thank you for this comment. I am so glad to know that what we are experiencing is not unique. At first I thought we were having marital problems and we went to counseling. It took two years for me to realize that we needed to consult with a neurologist.
Congratulations on being married for 50 years.
My husband is 82 and I am 69. Second married for us we married in 2000
Will look forward to what you write in the coming days
Civvy

I am trying so hard not to cry this morning because each of you has shared an experience familiar to me. It really does help just putting this into words..the feelings of loneliness, frustration, anger...all of it. On a good day, when I am rested and haven't overbooked my to do list, I can be more patient, show more humor...but on a not so good day...wow! This week I was ready to just leave...but of course wouldn't leave my son to manage this situation alone. Thank you so much for responding because I have felt like no one really understands the day to day challenges...until now.

Wow

You have articulated the way I feel on many days
Alone, frustrated, Ready to walk out. At times my husband can be very verbally abusing . Until he reverts to his old self
Very hard