No more Driving

My husband has Lewy Body Dementia. We went through the driving evaluation, and he passed. I was very uncomfortable with his driving. So I looked into our insurance and our state laws. I discovered that a person driving after being diagnosed with dementia can be sued extensively if they are in an accident. That was the end of driving for my husband. He was upset but not with me. I took him off the insurance, and he’s accepted it.

Not driving was the most difficult adjustment for my husband with LBD. Even after both PCP & Neurologist told him it wasn’t safe to drive he kept wanting to. It’s been an ongoing issue that comes up periodically. He was removed from our insurance policy so that is the approach I use to remind him. And in general he does not have access to vehicle keys. Only my vehicle had current registration & he has no access to it. We also have an “agreement” about him not driving. At one point he became belligerent & drove away in his pick-up truck. I’d given him the keys to check inside the cab for a misplaced jacket. Up to that time he had been very compliant with our agreement. You just can’t trust a dementia, even if you trust the person. I told him if he drove out of the driveway I would call law enforcement. He did, so I did. Fortunately we are a small town & he is not unknown to them. They have a file with some of his bizarre late-night calls. They found him & followed him home. The Deputy gave him a very respectful lecture about no insurance & no registration & made him give me the vehicle keys. I have since moved that truck to off-site storage that I pay for. The other truck - also not currently registered - has misplaced keys. He left them lying around & I removed them. That truck he just liked to start up & let run to keep the engine in good condition. But he also kept wanting to hook up a battery charger to it 🙄. Believe me it would be hard to find a more difficult situation than an ex-auto mechanic who is an ex-truck driver & former CDL holder. Driving was his life & his passion. It’s taken a lot of different approaches, plenty of time, etc.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. How hard it must be for him as a mechanic and someone whose identity is tied up w driving. I think it’s so hard for anyone.
My husband is bummed but has agreed to have another driving test. Those tests are with an occupational therapist who does a full cognitive eval along w reflex testing and written tests. It’s comprehensive. He had it last March but they recommended it be repeated in 9 mo. If he passes it would be for limited driving, which is all he has been doing.
And this time I’m ok w him not passing. My prayer will be thy will be done instead of please let him pass;)

No more driving? Different ways like little feel when riding/driving for MC or cars or trucks. For me, I have a TBI from my bicycle-accident 12 years ago and here’s part of my problems: on my brain has topped away from my right-eye. It doesn’t work on the right-side including my left or right eyes.

LPD service? He’s losing or lost of his brain… wow. I’ve been there or have these daily problems. Of course, I have a diff way and it’s a TBI accident 12 years ago from my bicycle accident. And lots of those “problems”, including my eyes usage.

Hi, our Dementia Support Group mentioned submitting an 'anonymous' report to your DMV, and they will schedule a Driver Evaluation and determine if he can keep his license. Good luck; we're getting close to this point too.

@judimahoney Welcome to Mayo Connect. I’m really glad you found this site!
Your suggestion about the DMV was very interesting and should be a convenient was for people to attack this driving problem.
Have you checked out the other discussions in the Caregiving Group?

Update on my husband. This week he went to pick up pizza 10 minutes away, something he does every other week. He didn’t come home after 45 minutes. I called him- no answer. I called the pizza place and heard “There was something in the parking lot. The police are there and everyone is ok!” I was panicked - my husband S did not call me. I got in the car to see what was going on. I also thought. “Let’s see how he handles it.,
When I got there, he already was on his way home. Then I get the call over an hour after he had left/ “ I barely touched the guys car. And thought we could change numbers etc. The guy wanted to see S drivers lic and registration and insurance info. Apparently S was fumbling and couldn’t find the stuff right away. The guy he dinged said” you are not going anywhere, I have a gun. “ He then called the police. Police came and wrote a brief crash report saying very minor ding. Call your insurance company etc. “
The end result the guy hit an estimate 264.00 I paid it yesterday.
My husband is an excellent careful driver. The problem was processing and judgement around an accident.
I called the occupational Therapist who is doing his driving test Mar 13. She knows.
My husband is working on getting used to the idea of not driving but I’ll let the OT and doctor make the final verdict and declaration.
S was very sad when after the ding I told him this was a guardian angel’s way of warning that turned out minor. But who could even imagine a guy threatening about a gun. Turns out he was a nice guy who didn’t understand the confusion of an old guy.
Anyway. My husband said” you might as well find a new husband. “ I said, no I love you and I get a new husband every day. ☺️

2 different Dr told my wife she could not drive 8 years ago and they informed her that this was part of her medical records so that if she was in accident
and the insurance looked into her medical the insurance company would not be held responsible. Sold one car and we became a one car family.
After the conversation with the Dr she hasn’t even tried to drive

Oh Mary, How frightening for both of you! Give him a hug for me and tell him I said someone was definitely watching over him. I remember going through this with Mom - she went to her grave blaming me for taking her to "that mean guy" who explained after extensive testing that she could no longer drive - No dementia, but she had serious visual perception and reaction losses after a stroke.

We are having the "driving discussion" with my cousin's kids right now, and they just want to swoop in and take the keys. They don't comprehend how devastating it is to take away someone's wheels freedom to come and go, especially in a Texas suburb with no local transit service. I truly hope I talked them into a gentler approach.

Not looking forward to the day we have to surrender our keys - the time will come and I hope I have the wisdom to recognize it.

Sue