Who Can I Talk To About My Wife's Cognitive Health?

I struggled with a similar situation last year minus the fibromyalgia. My husband is 63 and started getting lost while driving even to familiar places. I called his PCP and made an appointment. She ordered a brain MRI and then referred us to a neurologist. The neurologist ordered neuro psych testing which revealed he has Mild Cognitive Impairment. We are still waiting for a follow-up with the neurologist to review results and figure out next steps. I didn't know where to turn either until someone suggested starting at the beginning with his PCP. Its been a journey and I know its just beginning. Best wishes!

Hi @amconcerned and @joyh1567, when I noticed changes in my husband's cognitive abilities in addition to withdrawal from social activities, I documented them and sent them to his PCP. My husband did give me permission to proceed, but I would have done it anyway without his permission.
His PCP gave him the Montreal Cognitive Assessment Test for Dementia and told me that my letter was helpful. He then referred my husband to a neurologist. He had an MRI and Neuropsychological testing later. The diagnosis was Alzheimer's Disease.
Maybe you can talk to your wife about your concerns and get her on board with some testing. If there is a problem, like dementia, it is best to catch it early because the medications that delay progression are effective in the early stages.
A Vitamin B deficiency can also result in dementia-like symptoms, so it is important to pursue testing. Proper testing could confirm fibro fog. Wouldn't that be a relief?
If you can't get your wife's permission, maybe you can let her PCP know the unusual symptoms you"ve observed so s/he is aware and has these in mind the next time s/he examines her.
You have my sympathy. This is hard to face, and terrifying. My husband was relieved when I took the initiative to learn more about his condition. I haven't regretted it.
I wish you and your wife the best.

I forgot about the MOCA test, my husband took that and failed which prompted the referral to a neurologist. I told my husband that I was noticing issues and that we should see a doctor. It must have been on a good day because he agreed and we went to the appt together. I took over making the appts and making sure he got there and saw the doctors with him. I told him I wasnt going to stop until we knew what we were dealing with. Thank you for sharing your story!! It helps 🙂

Your story is so similar to ours, @joyh1567. The diagnosis also let us get our affairs in order. That was nearly five years ago. My husband functions pretty well. He is very forgetful, and sometimes needs to be reminded how to do things, like shave, or turn down the bed. He stopped driving a few years ago. He's got a good disposition and goes along with most of my suggestions.
He was blind in one eye with a cataract, and never said a word about it, though. He had cataract extraction surgery three months ago and became more sociable after. He also broke his hip two years ago, but has recovered well.
Thank you, too, for sharing your story!

How wise you are to seek further evaluation of your wife’s cognitive issues. I had not heard of fibro fog but did a little research and indeed it can causes dementia type behavior. Also your wife is at the age of menopause which can also cause hormonal imbalances that affect cognitive ability. I hope your wife would agree to a thorough physical and neuro psyche work up beginning w your PCP.
Sometimes a doctor needs to know you are ok to pursue this more so that you both know what you are dealing with and how to proceed. I wish you so well with hope and prayer.

My wife's Alzheimer's started with similar issues, not the Fibromyalgia, but asking questions about our children and grandchildren, such as who are the parents of ____?
That started about 9 years ago and her short term memory is now often in seconds rather than minutes. Anyway, I would suggest you contact the Alzheimer's Association and if you have some privacy, call their help line. They will advise you and won't charge you anything for their suggestions. They were extremely helpful in helping to pursue reasonable strategies for dealing with the memory and cognitive issues.

I’ve had fibro-fog & severe chronic stress/burnout that’s taken 4 years to feel mostly recovered from. During that time I’ve been caregiver for my husband with LBD & FTD. So I’ve seen what he’s going thru versus what I went thru & they are very different. However, you can perhaps use your wife’s awareness of fibro-fog & stress as a reason to get her evaluated by a neurologist. She’s very young & there could be other reasons for her struggle, aside from dementia. (I would consider avoiding any suggestion of dementia in any form as it’s very frightening & can cause someone to refuse needed medical care.) She could have had TMIs (mini-strokes) or possibly even have a growth in her brain that is causing issues. (Sorry, not trying to be an alarmist! Just pointing out that it could be something else that needs to be checked out quickly.) Early diagnosis is critical for correct & effective treatment of dementias - with the goal of optimizing quality of life. Others have commented with excellent suggestions for you as well. Partner with your wife to find the cause while considering the fear & denial she may be dealing with. Lastly, shame on her former employer for not being proactive in providing an employee assistance program to help her with her stress at work & resulting performance issues!

@amconcerned, I hope you've had a moment to see the helpful responses from fellow members. I agree that further assessment by a neurologist would be wise. How are you doing today?

There are some excellent responses. Just one warning-my friend’s husband was tested by a neurologist and diagnosed with dementia. He had to stop driving because he was confused about where he was. After a year, she decided to have him retested by another neurologist. He did not have dementia. He had COPD with depression. Diagnosis for dementia vs other diseases is complicated and each person is different.

Good point, I remember when I started menopause, my memory was screwed up for about a year, then I got straightened out. So PCP could do FSH test and other blood test to see if menopause could be problem