For those of us without family - Who will take care of you ?

@ginger123 Check in your area for senior services. Also the Area Agency on Aging. They are both good resources that could help answer your concerns. An estate attorney could also be a good person to get an opinion from. I'm sure this is more common than you think!
Ginger

Very people have the kind of resources needed to cover assisted living, long-term, much less adding special services like Memory Care and companions to provide more personal attention when needed for more than the Assisted Living facility covers.

This is not even to go into the Nursing home issue (they are far more expensive and very spotty in terms of quality.)

There are countless reports in the NYTimes documenting how poorly today's elders are prepared for their later years, much less those who develop especially demanding conditions.

The statistics are shocking and sad. My mother recently passed away at the age of 100, and excluding her tremendous losses early in her retirement years (she was very extravagant, and never checked the pricetag of anything - metaphorically) , Besides that, she lost a great deal of her estate through the mismanagement of lawyers, accountants and trust companies. They were very untrustworthy, through incompetence and overt dishonesty (I think more the latter).

As a young widow, she thought she could never run out of resources having inherited a very large estate from my high-earning father. All the same, she was scraping bottom when she finally passed and she had begun with an estate (figuring in inflation) of close to 100 Million dollars.

And this is despite my childless SIL's providing considerable help managing her care and acting as advocate with her various residences (There was an on-going need to oversee her health, and to keep track of her finances - there was so much overcharging in her medical care.!)

It's shocking how much bills for everything connected with her was grossly padded, plus - the most trivial in the grand scheme, but telling -, was the constant theft. Even staying in upscale facilities, she was constantly having items stolen, expensive and not. (She had countless hearing aids pilfered!)

I myself have a very small fraction of her resources, and I don't know what I will be able to do as I become ever less able to live independently. Unfortunately, my two unmarried sons, mean well but they are at a very unsettled point in their lives, (They live far away at present). I would have had ample fallback funds except that I was cheated out of very large sums by both my ex-husband and my own brothers who were given POA early on, as well as being named Executor and Trustee (all of which they abused for their benefit and that of a niece.)

Aging today is scarier than it used to be, and sometimes I think in this less kind world, there is a kind of generational war going on - at least on the policy level.

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Sorry, but can you tell me what an hcp is? Thanks.

One thing I would do is. Find a home one level easy in and out wide doors so a wheelchair can get though. Also, I do puzzles to keep my mind working. People have made fun of me for doing them, but I can tell it helps. Check companies like taxis, Uber and other services that can help.
I would recommend soon than later. I’ve seen too many family members wait too long then it is too late.

I agree with acting when we are still relatively healthy. I purchased a one level home years ago, and have updated it with the big ticket items that will outlast me.
My main concern, however, remains who will oversee my care when I’m unable. I will remain in my home and not go to an assisted care or nursing home. I’ve been privy to that industry and wish to not “go there”…
It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in this decision making process.

My husband and I had a trust. I was fortunate enough to work for a probate/trust attorney for 23 years before I retired. She did it for us. When my husband died, I became sole trustee. After me, it was supposed to be one of my sons. (I have two) Unfortunately my son and I have had a serious falling out. So I found a fiduciary trustee. We had a meeting and I liked her. My attorney drew up the appropriate paper work. We discussed the issue you raised about assisted living. We are both in agreement on this. I will have caregivers in my own home. I have mentioned in previous posts about visiting two facilities who offer independent and assisted living. I was not impressed and they are expensive. So in my case, the problem is solved. You need to find a good attorney and discuss your future plans with him/her and see that the proper documentation is drawn up. You also need to research caregivers.

_Get It Together_ is a Nolo Press book that presents an organized plan for many of the end-of-life issues we will face, and leave behind for others to handle if we don't face up and do the work while we can.
For example, I have a Neptune Society cremation plan paid for: one phone call and Neptune society will take care of my cremation and simple memorial if anyone is interested. banking and investment accounts all have instructions for who gets whatever is left. Powers of Attorney and Living Will are done, but need updating as people age and move far away.
It's a lot of work, but can be done one page at a time, and will clarify what has been attended to and what still needs attention.
If you want to stay in your home as long as possible, get good advice on how to modify things for ease of living as you age. A few years ago I installed a walk in shower. Since then my wife has had three surgeries, and the shower has been crucial to at-home care. I am constantly looking at my possessions, reducing them as much as I can. It's important to do these things while you are alert and able to adapt and create simple care habits.

Fiduciary trustee is a good idea. The only thing I would question is how long that employee will be with the firm….
I’ve employed private caregivers for my Mom, so I’m familiar with companies in our area. Just more concerned with who will be overseeing the caregivers….

The person I chose is a partner in a two person firm. From our discussions, she will be doing the overseeing of the caregivers. In addition, when I had my hip replacement two years ago I had a wonderful caregiver for the two months of recuperation before I could be on my own. We still keep in touch and my trustee has her information.

Sounds like you’ve made a valuable connection- both with the fiduciary trustee and the caregiver! I’ll ask my estate attorney for his recommendations. Thanks very much!