1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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itchyd | @itchyd | Jan 27 9:42am

It's an unfortunate fact of life that excess alcohol consumption can impede a guy's performance in the sack.

On that note, here goes nothin' :

A guy walks into a pub and says, "Bartender, I've got a big night planned, and I'd like to start it off with a good, stiff one. Any suggestions?"

The bartender replies,
"Yes sir. For starters, I wouldn't recommend a double."

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itchyd | @itchyd | Jan 27 10:27am

Homeowners in California's San Andreas Valley have to pay top dollar to cover potential earthquake damage because the insurance companies refuse to sell them no-fault policies.

The company's say that even if they offered them, they'd have to seism accordingly, and ..... geez Louise, who could afford that?

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itchyd | @itchyd | Jan 27 10:37am
In reply to @JustinMcClanahan "I would like to remind members of the Community Guidelines, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/. While the lines get blurred..." + (show)
@JustinMcClanahan

I would like to remind members of the Community Guidelines, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/. While the lines get blurred a bit more when telling jokes, we still need to remain respectful and inclusive on Mayo Clinic Connect. As such, a few jokes have been removed. Please keep in mind the guidelines on Mayo Clinic Connect differ than those from a comedic stage.

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Guess that means no old Lenny Bruce jokes.

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itchyd | @itchyd | Jan 27 10:48am
In reply to @kamama94 "If you tell the same pun twice, it doubles in sighs." + (show)
@kamama94

If you tell the same pun twice, it doubles in sighs.

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The humor in most puns fades with time, but there are a few where it just keeps groan and groan.

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frances007 | @frances007 | Jan 27 11:18am

Laughter is not the best medicine....propofol is.

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1 reply
shirleyrawlins | @shirleyrawlins | Jan 27 12:11pm
In reply to @itchyd "Nil, Nada and Void walked into a bar and ordered nothing in particular." + (show)
@itchyd

Nil, Nada and Void walked into a bar and ordered nothing in particular.

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Good!

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itchyd | @itchyd | Jan 27 12:37pm

Times were hard and Farmer Brown had to consolidate and sell off so much of the storage space for his four grain crops that he was afraid he wouldn't have room for any of them.

First to go were the bins for crop #1, wheat, and he worried.
Next, the silos for crop #2, corn, disappeared and his anxiety level mounted.
When the same thing happened for his 3rd crop, sorghum, he became frantic.
Hopes of retaining any stores at all were dwindling away to almost nothing.

Gloom and doom ....

Then, just as it looked like all was lost, he finally got the good news about crop #4 and was so excited that he could barley contain himself.

Groan ... sorry about that ...

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1 reply
itchyd | @itchyd | Jan 27 12:39pm
In reply to @frances007 "Laughter is not the best medicine....propofol is." + (show)
@frances007

Laughter is not the best medicine....propofol is.

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Nitrous oxide.

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itchyd | @itchyd | Jan 27 12:41pm
In reply to @JustinMcClanahan "I would like to remind members of the Community Guidelines, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/. While the lines get blurred..." + (show)
@JustinMcClanahan

I would like to remind members of the Community Guidelines, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/. While the lines get blurred a bit more when telling jokes, we still need to remain respectful and inclusive on Mayo Clinic Connect. As such, a few jokes have been removed. Please keep in mind the guidelines on Mayo Clinic Connect differ than those from a comedic stage.

Jump to this post

I guess maybe I should think twice about telling the one about Mini-Me and his stunt double ....

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captboat | @captboat | Jan 27 1:21pm
In reply to @agedp "Frankly, as a blond with an advanced degree, I am tired of and, more importantly, insulted..." + (show)
@agedp

Frankly, as a blond with an advanced degree, I am tired of and, more importantly, insulted by blond jokes. Substitute "Black" for blond and you will understand.

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Frankly, as a Black guy with an advanced degree, when does it stop…

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