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Coping with miscarriage
Hello. I am 28, I have a four year old son, and I recently lost my pregnancy at 13 weeks. I am having a very difficult time dealing with my grief. I haven't slept in days. It hit me like a ton of bricks because I didn't know that I had lost the baby. I went in for a routine check up and the nurse could not find my baby's heartbeat on the doppler. I was then moved back to have a scan, where it was confirmed that my baby had indeed died. I was taken by surprise, and as a result I feel like I am losing my mind. I had the d&c yesterday and I have been hysterical since. I was hoping that someone on here who maybe has been through this could give me some advice as to how i am supposed to move on. How am I supposed to live my life now? I don't even know where to begin. Just 3 short weeks ago I had my first ultrasound and the baby looked perfectly fine, even had a heart rate of 174 bpm. How does this happen? How can a fetus be thriving and healthy one week and gone the next? Any help would be wonderful. Thannk you.
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When it’s time put away or donate any baby items you gathered for your baby. Don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings. Work or volunteer to help others. Give someone a blessing. Keep us posted as to how you are doing. We care and know it’s not easy but you will overcome. God bless you. Jo54
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2 Reactions@mandyg I have nothing to offer other than heartfelt sympathy. I have two children, never lost a child, but I can imagine the grief. It was always a worry during my pregnancies, for no logical reason other than the fact that my mother had a couple of miscarriages. She had four children who were all fine though. Grief is a difficult emotion, and I don't think it ever leaves us entirely, but we learn to live with it.
I hope you do get joy from the son you do have, but it is understandable that does not diminish the grief for the child that you lost.
JK
@mandyg - how are you doing after a few years? I have read all the most recent posts. There are so many women that suffered miscarriage or fetal loss but never talk about it - until someone brings it up and then so many open up about their loss. I lost our first baby at 26 weeks- doctor’s visit no heart beat. I seriously don’t know how I got through everything. My mother-in-law died the same week.
It was very tough. So much crying. My husband wanted me to see a therapist, but I said no- I’ll be fine when I’m done- and I was. 40 years later I still get sad that week.
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1 ReactionAlthough this post is more than 10 years old, perhaps future readers will have the same question. Here is a new Mayo Clinic resource - the Read.Talk.Grow. podcast where we discuss health through books.
This episode talks about miscarriage and the grief of pregnancy loss
https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/women-health/breaking-the-silence-surrounding-miscarriage/