Kindness

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

This quote and some variations of this quote have been attributed to different people.

In his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, best-selling author Stephen Covey, tells a story about an incident on a subway.

I was riding a subway on Sunday morning in New York. People were sitting quietly—some reading newspapers, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene. Then a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rumbunctious that instantly the climate changed.

The man sat next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation…

I couldn’t believe he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that… Eventually, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint I turned and said, “Sir, your children are disturbing people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?”

The man lifted his gaze as if he saw the situation for the first time. And said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.”

Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? Suddenly I saw things differently and because I saw differently, I thought differently. I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior. My heart was filled with the man’s pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely…Everything changed in an instant.

Adapted from Stephen R. Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (New York: Simon and Schuster 1989) p.30-31

We never know what is happening in other people’s lives or what difficulties and struggles they are experiencing. The next time you are in a situation where someone’s behavior is frustrating take a moment to remember that the person may be fighting a hard battle.

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." ―Dalai Lama