This has been brought up before in things that help. Now maybe some can share how we get out of a rut to help ourselves. We all get stuck stuck at times. Curious as to what others do when stuck in that thought mode of "Why Bother?"
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.
I think "why bother" a lot, when it comes to the crafting and sewing I have enjoyed through the years. Sometimes it is a great joy to create something. Other times it seems a chore. Sometimes it seems like why do I bother making things, I can only use so many quilts and bags and scrapbooks and aside from donating them, or cluttering up my own space even more, does anybody really need them? Do I really need all of these supplies that overwhelm me at times and bring an immense sense of guilt for not using them more often? It is something I struggle with.
So far as loss and grief go, I see the connection for myself between not wanting to make things because I don't have the family and friends that other people seem to have. So who will I give them to? Who do I pass down family heirlooms? I too have an estranged family member, a son, who I was very close to, but now he wants nothing to do with me. Wondering constantly what changed, what did I do to damage that relationship. I have asked and get no response. So I feel the pain of others who have encountered this.
I have no answers. I truly wish that I did. I suppose there is not much help in my post aside from saying I can relate, nobody here is alone.
These days with so many on RX drugs to help depression & anxiety Millions are feeling very low. Suggestion : Why not give your hand made creations to seniors at a nursing- rehab home or even a home for young people ? Many there feel alone & neglected. I am 76 Our country has changed dramatically , not for the better . Yes there are millions of good people…. but sadly they are not in control . MY grandson is estranged too…Breaks my heart .
sad but my grandson will NOT go for help Thinks he is fine I miss who he used to be Loving sweet, helpful , kind…
I'm so sorry life is so hard. Grief and loss are so painful. I lost everything I cared about in a very short time in 2017. I lost hope. I had to rebuild my life. I attended a program called DBT. It's about building a life worth living. I highly recommend it. Life is better now, I still am dealing with feelings of loss, but In order to improve I have to grieve otherwise you'll never move forward.
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Thanks Happy you got help I've tried it all . But loss of my special grandson haunts me daily. I had planned for us to enjoy each other in my older days I am 76
@dianrib Continue to be your loving self. Do not turn away from him. Do this for yourself, not him. He may, or may not, realize your love and concern for him. If he doesn't it is his loss. You can grieve what is not there at the moment, but relish the memories of what you have had in the past.
@sandij Like you, I sew and crochet. After gifting my family member's, I now do my work for charity. Small quilts or blankets for the neonatal or pediatric units in local hospitals, Project Linus, adult sizes for veteran's facilities or senior living homes. Search around your area. You may find some ideas on http://www.carewear.org under the facilities seeking goods. It is part of the doing for others that we can do for ourselves.
Thank you for the resource, Ginger! I've donated quite a few quilts to project Linus, Heart Builders, silent auctions for charity fundraisers, and to our local fire department. I think the "why bother" attitude comes from not being able to share with family members more, on a more personal basis.
ginger Good advice Thanks
Well, depression and anxiety are a challenge. Add chronic pain to the mix and the batter just no longer wants to rise. Weather is warming and time to get out and plant some flowers. Not at all motivated. Won't be able to even think about my secret garden until mid-June as will be house/dog sitting while son and family go on vacation. Thinking I am not up to doing the job. I can't sleep well there because of fear. Sounds silly but my fear is real. I am not comfortable there far from help should I need it. I don't talk about how bad the pain is and my fears of being far from help. If I were to fall and get hurt because of those useless dogs no one would even know. Many family members with keys. Not a good thing for me. I don't want to ruin things for their vacation.
Your fear doesn't sound at all silly. Not sleeping well + already in pain + dogs that can't help if you fall — sounds like a recipe for disaster. Is there anyone else that can/would take on the house/dog sitting? It would be so much more nourishing for you to start on that secret garden, imo. 🙁 🙁 🙁
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