Where to help

Wow…right behind you on this…things are not quite that bad here - YET. But closing a checking account without discussing with me…he did that. Never would have done that before. The guy who used to fix computers in his office for everyone now needs my help with his iPhone and logging in to accounts. I’m pretty scared he will click on a scam text or email and we’ll really be in big trouble. Best wishes to you…and I hope you will get some helpful suggestions from others here. There is no manual, but it is comforting to have this place to vent.

An attorney should be able to provide guidance on getting legal control over the finances. Guardianship is often an option if a person is not competent to handle their affairs properly.

Same here I am afraid. My hubbie who had built a successful career around his brilliant computers skills now rants and raves all day long about how his computer is no longer working, or how the software has bugs in it because it was so badly written. As a non-computer person I am having to learn fast. I get shouted at for trying to help, often when I can see there is a very simple fix. I have learned to put up an emotional shield and just turn and walk away at those times. A while back when I became concerned about increasing signs of MCI, I started to compile a file containing my husband's log-on’s - just in case he forgot them. So glad I did, it is peace of mind now and it also gives me the option of dealing with our accounts that I never had to deal with before to keep us going. Still learning as we go, and unfortunately I know it is going to get harder. I admire the strength, courage and tenacity of everyone who posts here!

What does MCI stand for?
I see it a lot on this support group that people have.

Mild cognitive impairment

I get it. My wife with MCI can manage only the minimal electronic/digital functions (can barely use the TV remote). Fortunately she does not attempt to do anything on her phone and tablet but play simple games, check email and Facebook. She gets scams all the time (don't we all) and I am fortunate that she will come to me to ask what to do. So I am the fortunate one here. I have very complex passwords on everything and I keep them in a password manager that she has no idea how to use. Part of her early MCI was difficulty with electronic devices and short term memory loss. It has all worsened, but slowly (7 years now).

To @marketlink, I don't know what the solution is to limiting his access to your financial accounts, but he has no business being able to, as he can do much harm, including financial loss. You might need legal assistance to have him declared incompetent and get all accounts in your name only (you can give power of attorney to someone you trust as a backup). I am my wife's POA but mine was given to my son (general POA) and my daughter (healthcare POA).

@wctdoc1943 , Thanks for all the suggestions. I keep most of the finances buttoned down pretty well but this was a reminder to fasten both the windows and the doors. I find a strange kind of comfort in knowing I'm not the only one going through this and it's encouraging that your wifes MCI has progressed slowly. We are one year two now and I'm noticing a few more changes. This morning he showered and then forgot he had, so was back in the shower an hour later. I do have a great support system but some days it's nice to have this forum. Thanks again.

People progress at different rates and not all MCI progress to full dementia. While I would love to have my wife retested by a neuropsychologist as a measure of impairment (and maybe prognosis), in the absence of significnt treatment options at present, I'm not sure it can be justified, especially if it is only for my information. Living with her, day in and day out, I have difficulty measuring how she is different, even from a year ago. She can do all the ADLs (activities of daily living) except cooking. She can drive and remembers the directions to her hair salon a mile away but won't attempt to drive anywhere else. She tried to write a check last week and I needed to complete it for her. She is in some kind of limbo between normal and dementia.

Hi. My husband is experiencing the same issues. He has MCI and for the past few years has been able to use his phone, iPad and computer for only the simplest tasks. I am responsible for all the financial tracking and transactions. I have created spreadsheets containing all the information he needs to know about where our assets are and how to check our online accounts. He puts the lists away and then continues to ask me for his passwords. I have also provided that info to our adult children. He doesn’t seem to realize how much help he requires and being dependent on me for this type of help doesn’t seem to bother him, although he doesn’t like it when I leave him alone so he must worry that he will need my help. He also needs help with navigation if he is going to a new destination. He uses a GPS but can’t always understand the screen. Fortunately, he is still a safe driver.

We are in a similar place. I am far from a tech expert, but thankfully for whatever I can’t do, our kids help with. I am pretty scared about all the spam stuff that comes into his email (and mostly Text!). He will ask me about them (thankfully) and when I say “Delete and report junk” he will cover and say ‘of course, I was going to do that’ but there were a couple, like “from the Geek Squad” or Pay Pal that he tends to take more seriously…and ther may come a day. Why don’t they have better filters available? And same with driving, finances, etc as you mentioned. Good luck to you. This forum is so very helpful!