Where do you go when you're no longer add value?
I've been sick for 9 years, and I'm only 43.
I've watched people come, then slowly drift away. I never needed many friends but a few very close ones and family. As my sickness lingered people drifted, moving growing in life changing as I felt stuck in the frozen in time, consumed by the pain, the weakness, even self destruction. I used to be a sunshine, spitfire extrovert pre covid, now I am the extreme opposite and my whole personality/behaviors have changed dramatically. I isolate bc I enjoy being alone after forcing it.
Malnutrition has me brain fogged, confused, unable to learn new, or do smart things I've always done. I forgot how to do my job, literally clueless, and freeze instead of fight to overcome. I can't do good deeds for strangers or community volunteering as I have in the past to help and for self gratification. I have nothing to offer. And literally lost all my skills/talents. People don't like me. I can't date due to inability to have sex, I bring no value to anything or anyone anymore, yet my illness is a slow progressive terminal one, so..what now? Keep coming up w ridiculous to do lists to keep me overly busy? Where do you go, what do you do when you no longer add value?