What's going on this Thanksgiving?

Posted by Denise @denisestlouie, 2 days ago

This year I'm hosting Thanksgiving. It's been awhile since I've hosted. Since the pandemic I haven't celebrated Thanksgiving traditionally. 2020/21 were pandemic years and precautions. 2022 I was recovering from a knee replacement and 2023 I was recovering from a toe joint replacement.

For years Thanksgiving was mine to host. I love being the host. The planning, cleaning, decorating,prepping, cooking and then finally the presentation?! It's all fun to me.

I'm not a domestic diva, but I love hosting a great gathering. The part I love the most is the food. I spend time thinking and reading about preparing meals for a group. I like it to be different then what is traditionally served. That drives my dad nuts. For example for Easter we usually have ham. I don't get it. Why ham? So one year I served roast and another I served salmon. They were both excellent and even my dad was satisfied. I love watching people enjoying their meals.

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. My parents are living. My dad's 88 and my mom is 86. I used to think I would live to be very elderly. I worried about being financially sound throughout my old age. I even assumed I would work well into my 70s. But this diagnosis is really doing a job on how I see as my future. Right now I'm very confused.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Gynecologic Cancers Support Group.

I think it’s amazing how you are so excited to hosting for the holiday considering what you have on your plate right now. How are you feeling?

Your meal plans sound delicious. I’m not a ham person. Lol. I have prepared turkey tenderloins for the last couple of years with fixings for an early dinner. We used to host a Thanksgiving day breakfast, since many family members had other places to be for dinner. We served breakfast casseroles, bacon, pancakes, hash browns, cinnamon buns, etc. Most family members were free at breakfast and we had a good turn out. Then Covid and health issues, family dynamics, etc. put a halt to the breakfast tradition.

I’m exhausted from being over extended for this year, plus my own health issues, but I’m improving and could physically do it. You have inspired me! I’ll make the meal and serve whoever shows up! Maybe I’ll try something new this year like an oyster stew or grilled shrimp and crab legs!

I hope things go well for your health and your Thanksgiving gathering,

REPLY

@denisestlouie Your Thanksgiving dinner plans sound wonderful. Since you love to plan and host the dinner I'm thinking this will be the most wonderful way to practice gratefulness for the day. I'm envious that your parents are doing well at ages 88 and 86. My parents are both gone and how I would love to sit at a Thanksgiving table with them again. I have fond memories of helping my mom polish the silver for Thanksgiving.

I'm 72-years-old and my mother when she died at age 75. I thought she was quite old and now I'm almost her age when she left this earth. With cancer it is a challenge to look at the future. I'm with you on that.

With your excellent team of doctors, nurses, and therapists and a solid treatment plan you do have reason to Hope (optimism with a plan).

How many people will you be hosting at your Thanksgiving table?

REPLY

Thank you for raising this topic, Denise. I so appreciate each poster’s contribution!

My husband and I have young adult and adult children that are far-flung this holiday, have travelled ourselves out for the moment, and we don’t have the funds to sponsor their trips home, so are figuring out what to do with ourselves. In doing so, we are each asking ourselves and each other what our spirits need and what each of our bodies can most comfortably manage.

We’ve invited one friend to come stay with us, and just yesterday a young couple asked if they could join us. We are thrilled, and being very clear with each of our prospective guests that what WE can offer may vary from our own wishes of what we’d like to offer, and may vary quite significantly from what Martha Stewart can and would, as beautiful and scrumptious as that would be.
One definite yes so far, and one “we’ll get back to you,” which I am interpreting as, “we were not expecting to have to share space with a person unknown to us and we have our own sensory limitations,” etc. I doubt that couple would be hesitating because I limited the scope of the offering.

We’ve ordered a portion of a turkey and will ask anyone confirming to bring whatever says “Thanksgiving!” to their hearts and palates that they would otherwise miss.

Our hearts are warmed at the thought of each of these potential guests joining us. We can also manage extra leftovers if no one shows.

I want to echo Helen’s memory of polishing silver. I did that every year as a child, too! And being asked to take over responsibility for a piece of the meal each year, until I’d learned how to do all of the pieces that my mother orchestrated in what said “Thanksgiving!” to her… What a lovely memory. Thank you, Helen! !

I am thinking of those in my family who might not be alive next year and wishing I could transport myself in order to be with each of them and to tell them how incredibly important they are to me and how grateful I am for their presence(s) in my life. I need to put those messages into writing for now and get them to them until I can get to them in person.

Something (I believe it was Colleen) I read somewhere on Mayo Connect has stuck with me. I believe she talked about cancer requiring us, at times, to reframe hope. The scope of what we can be optimistic about, and we can form a plan around (as Helen so beautifully reminds us just as often as I need to hear it) may get bigger or smaller as we travel along this path. That has been brought home to me in so many ways since reading it. I’m grateful for the idea. Sometimes the focus of my hope is full-bore health and being able to do everything I could or hoped I could. At other times, it’s being able to sustain my involvement in certain activities or to contribute financially to my family, or be up for travel even with limitations. At times, it has been for some sun coming through my window or a contact with a treasured friend as I recovered from surgery. This last month it was hoping my letter reached a friend before he died. It did.

All of you who read these words feel so important to me, as well. I am hoping that each of you find a manageable scope for your hopes for this holiday and for your health and lives.

With profound gratitude for this community,

Gynosaur

REPLY
@gynosaur42

Thank you for raising this topic, Denise. I so appreciate each poster’s contribution!

My husband and I have young adult and adult children that are far-flung this holiday, have travelled ourselves out for the moment, and we don’t have the funds to sponsor their trips home, so are figuring out what to do with ourselves. In doing so, we are each asking ourselves and each other what our spirits need and what each of our bodies can most comfortably manage.

We’ve invited one friend to come stay with us, and just yesterday a young couple asked if they could join us. We are thrilled, and being very clear with each of our prospective guests that what WE can offer may vary from our own wishes of what we’d like to offer, and may vary quite significantly from what Martha Stewart can and would, as beautiful and scrumptious as that would be.
One definite yes so far, and one “we’ll get back to you,” which I am interpreting as, “we were not expecting to have to share space with a person unknown to us and we have our own sensory limitations,” etc. I doubt that couple would be hesitating because I limited the scope of the offering.

We’ve ordered a portion of a turkey and will ask anyone confirming to bring whatever says “Thanksgiving!” to their hearts and palates that they would otherwise miss.

Our hearts are warmed at the thought of each of these potential guests joining us. We can also manage extra leftovers if no one shows.

I want to echo Helen’s memory of polishing silver. I did that every year as a child, too! And being asked to take over responsibility for a piece of the meal each year, until I’d learned how to do all of the pieces that my mother orchestrated in what said “Thanksgiving!” to her… What a lovely memory. Thank you, Helen! !

I am thinking of those in my family who might not be alive next year and wishing I could transport myself in order to be with each of them and to tell them how incredibly important they are to me and how grateful I am for their presence(s) in my life. I need to put those messages into writing for now and get them to them until I can get to them in person.

Something (I believe it was Colleen) I read somewhere on Mayo Connect has stuck with me. I believe she talked about cancer requiring us, at times, to reframe hope. The scope of what we can be optimistic about, and we can form a plan around (as Helen so beautifully reminds us just as often as I need to hear it) may get bigger or smaller as we travel along this path. That has been brought home to me in so many ways since reading it. I’m grateful for the idea. Sometimes the focus of my hope is full-bore health and being able to do everything I could or hoped I could. At other times, it’s being able to sustain my involvement in certain activities or to contribute financially to my family, or be up for travel even with limitations. At times, it has been for some sun coming through my window or a contact with a treasured friend as I recovered from surgery. This last month it was hoping my letter reached a friend before he died. It did.

All of you who read these words feel so important to me, as well. I am hoping that each of you find a manageable scope for your hopes for this holiday and for your health and lives.

With profound gratitude for this community,

Gynosaur

Jump to this post

Thank you. I hope the same for you.

REPLY
@celia16

I think it’s amazing how you are so excited to hosting for the holiday considering what you have on your plate right now. How are you feeling?

Your meal plans sound delicious. I’m not a ham person. Lol. I have prepared turkey tenderloins for the last couple of years with fixings for an early dinner. We used to host a Thanksgiving day breakfast, since many family members had other places to be for dinner. We served breakfast casseroles, bacon, pancakes, hash browns, cinnamon buns, etc. Most family members were free at breakfast and we had a good turn out. Then Covid and health issues, family dynamics, etc. put a halt to the breakfast tradition.

I’m exhausted from being over extended for this year, plus my own health issues, but I’m improving and could physically do it. You have inspired me! I’ll make the meal and serve whoever shows up! Maybe I’ll try something new this year like an oyster stew or grilled shrimp and crab legs!

I hope things go well for your health and your Thanksgiving gathering,

Jump to this post

Physically I'm doing really well. I've not been sidelined at all. My issues are primary emotional. I believe much of that is caused by the drugs that are pumped into me.One of my "gang", that is I how refer to the half of a dozen friends who I have told about my cancer diagnosis, is a director of pharmacy in a hospital. She suspects I might be reacting to the steroid I'm given prior to the chemotherapy, because my emotions come out as anger and rage. It does make since. I had to have the steroid cut in half after the first cycle because I was not functional for 2 days. It was like having severe hyperactivity.

Being busy helps me stay calm.

Have fun Thanksgiving. I love Oster everything.

REPLY
@naturegirl5

@denisestlouie Your Thanksgiving dinner plans sound wonderful. Since you love to plan and host the dinner I'm thinking this will be the most wonderful way to practice gratefulness for the day. I'm envious that your parents are doing well at ages 88 and 86. My parents are both gone and how I would love to sit at a Thanksgiving table with them again. I have fond memories of helping my mom polish the silver for Thanksgiving.

I'm 72-years-old and my mother when she died at age 75. I thought she was quite old and now I'm almost her age when she left this earth. With cancer it is a challenge to look at the future. I'm with you on that.

With your excellent team of doctors, nurses, and therapists and a solid treatment plan you do have reason to Hope (optimism with a plan).

How many people will you be hosting at your Thanksgiving table?

Jump to this post

I think there will be 12. That about half of what I used to cook for. The kids are now adults and most moved away. I used to have both my family and my husband's family. Then we devorsed and my sister took thanksgiving over so she could host both sides of her family. Then Covid and everything changed again.

REPLY
@gynosaur42

Thank you for raising this topic, Denise. I so appreciate each poster’s contribution!

My husband and I have young adult and adult children that are far-flung this holiday, have travelled ourselves out for the moment, and we don’t have the funds to sponsor their trips home, so are figuring out what to do with ourselves. In doing so, we are each asking ourselves and each other what our spirits need and what each of our bodies can most comfortably manage.

We’ve invited one friend to come stay with us, and just yesterday a young couple asked if they could join us. We are thrilled, and being very clear with each of our prospective guests that what WE can offer may vary from our own wishes of what we’d like to offer, and may vary quite significantly from what Martha Stewart can and would, as beautiful and scrumptious as that would be.
One definite yes so far, and one “we’ll get back to you,” which I am interpreting as, “we were not expecting to have to share space with a person unknown to us and we have our own sensory limitations,” etc. I doubt that couple would be hesitating because I limited the scope of the offering.

We’ve ordered a portion of a turkey and will ask anyone confirming to bring whatever says “Thanksgiving!” to their hearts and palates that they would otherwise miss.

Our hearts are warmed at the thought of each of these potential guests joining us. We can also manage extra leftovers if no one shows.

I want to echo Helen’s memory of polishing silver. I did that every year as a child, too! And being asked to take over responsibility for a piece of the meal each year, until I’d learned how to do all of the pieces that my mother orchestrated in what said “Thanksgiving!” to her… What a lovely memory. Thank you, Helen! !

I am thinking of those in my family who might not be alive next year and wishing I could transport myself in order to be with each of them and to tell them how incredibly important they are to me and how grateful I am for their presence(s) in my life. I need to put those messages into writing for now and get them to them until I can get to them in person.

Something (I believe it was Colleen) I read somewhere on Mayo Connect has stuck with me. I believe she talked about cancer requiring us, at times, to reframe hope. The scope of what we can be optimistic about, and we can form a plan around (as Helen so beautifully reminds us just as often as I need to hear it) may get bigger or smaller as we travel along this path. That has been brought home to me in so many ways since reading it. I’m grateful for the idea. Sometimes the focus of my hope is full-bore health and being able to do everything I could or hoped I could. At other times, it’s being able to sustain my involvement in certain activities or to contribute financially to my family, or be up for travel even with limitations. At times, it has been for some sun coming through my window or a contact with a treasured friend as I recovered from surgery. This last month it was hoping my letter reached a friend before he died. It did.

All of you who read these words feel so important to me, as well. I am hoping that each of you find a manageable scope for your hopes for this holiday and for your health and lives.

With profound gratitude for this community,

Gynosaur

Jump to this post

I hope have fun no matter the number of folk show up

REPLY
@denisestlouie

I think there will be 12. That about half of what I used to cook for. The kids are now adults and most moved away. I used to have both my family and my husband's family. Then we devorsed and my sister took thanksgiving over so she could host both sides of her family. Then Covid and everything changed again.

Jump to this post

@denisestlouie With 12 I’m guessing you can mostly sit around the same table? But in the past you used to cook for more than 20 people? That’s impressive. Yes, COVID seems to have changed so many things.

REPLY
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