What Pain Teaches Us

Posted by georgescraftjr @georgescraftjr, Nov 21 1:03pm

My 83-year old husband cries out in pain during the night, and moans and groans during the day. Not exactly music to my ears, especially since I suffer from chronic pain.

What has been a balm to me as George's primary caregiver, is all your hugs and prayers.

I refuse to be defeated by pain--my own and my vicarious suffering for my husband.

On Pain

Kahlil Gibran

And a woman spoke, saying, Tell us of Pain.
And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Chronic Pain Support Group.

Profile picture for heyjoe415 @heyjoe415

Thank you George for your insightful, thoughtful words on the topic of pain. I picked out one short phrase from your post:

"..watch with serenity..."

Serenity. Magical word, magical place, accessible to all, anytime. Sometimes it can be hard to simply find or summon serenity. Regardless of how one arrives at serenity, it is the place from which we can objectively consider all the things in our lives. I've known both great pain (physical and psychological) and great serenity/happiness (again, physical and psychological).

So I don't pursue life. I pursue the serenity that makes all of life a wonder - not always wonderful. But it's been a great journey, and I fondly recall the past now. That wasn't always the case. The easiest way for me to find serenity is to stay as present as possible. I know that's not revelatory, we are frequently advised to "stay in the moment".

It's true though. We only experience the moment we are in. Everything else is in the past, and gone, or in the future, and unknown.

Joe

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@heyjoe415

...and thank you for sharing your perspective, which you expressed so eloquently.

George's Wife

REPLY

Hello everyone,
Since my small abominal njury in 2010 which needed surgical repair but didn't get until 2016, my life has become one of chronic, ever worsening pain.
What has it taught me...its led me to Dr Joe Dispenza, the science behind why meditating works, its introduced me to the World of Neuroscience ( now my passion).and the brain's neuroplasticity, and fear of our pain holds us in the never ending cycle of pain. Im learning the body has the capacity to heal, that Western medicine has no good answers for chronic pain but hollistic help is better. I'm learning to not fear my pain, which is disabling but to allow my wonderous body to heal at its own pace. Our body stores trauma, sometimes the thought of my injury immediately makes it hurt, so I know the trauma is stored in my brain/ my body. Nature has been proven to regenerate our bodies, help us heal. Im learning to move as best i can despite pain and most of all im learning there is a much greater understanding of hollistic healing in Eastern/ Asian practices. Don't dwell on pain, its hard but that creates poor body chemistry. Live in gratitude for small things, its changing my mentality and slowly my fear dissipates. Gd luck to each of us on our journey. Im very thankful for this blog .

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Profile picture for bilt4pain @bilt4pain

@pedrov57 I’ve been living in 6-8 pain for the better part of 20 years. I think if I woke up pain free, I’d never leave the bed !

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Thank you bilt4pain,

I'm sorry about the pain you experience. Thanks for sharing with us. At 71, I put in the work necessary to stay healthy, but chronic pain can strike anyone. My most recent experience was the three months before I had my shoulder replaced.

The pain started, really discomfort, started slowly. As osteoarthritis tightened its grip, I was in everyday pain - and because I scheduled it so late, had to wait 3 months for the surgery. I had the shoulder replaced on August and, OMG what a difference without that daily pain.

But you are an absolute hero for dealing with 6-8 pain for such a long time. What is the nature of the pain, if you don't mind my asking.

You still have your sense of humor, and I think that's incredible and inspiring.

Thank you friend.

Joe

REPLY
Profile picture for georgescraftjr @georgescraftjr

@heyjoe415

...and thank you for sharing your perspective, which you expressed so eloquently.

George's Wife

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Thank you so much George's wife. It was very kind of you to reach out, and I am very touched by your kind words.

My thanks to both of you.

Joe

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Profile picture for pedrov57 @pedrov57

Chronic pain teaches me difference—
a quiet truth others cannot see.
It awakens my soul to the beauty
of moments passed over as ordinary.

Time whispers my body is fragile,
each attempt a weight, each step a cost.
Yet patience grows where pain resides,
a disguise I wear to keep moving on.

And still, hope rises—
that one day I may return
to the memory of living
without pain,
to the freedom of being whole.

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Thanks Pedro. Did you write this? It is elegant and moving. Thank you. Joe

REPLY
Profile picture for anniesezu812 @anniesezu812

Hello everyone,
Since my small abominal njury in 2010 which needed surgical repair but didn't get until 2016, my life has become one of chronic, ever worsening pain.
What has it taught me...its led me to Dr Joe Dispenza, the science behind why meditating works, its introduced me to the World of Neuroscience ( now my passion).and the brain's neuroplasticity, and fear of our pain holds us in the never ending cycle of pain. Im learning the body has the capacity to heal, that Western medicine has no good answers for chronic pain but hollistic help is better. I'm learning to not fear my pain, which is disabling but to allow my wonderous body to heal at its own pace. Our body stores trauma, sometimes the thought of my injury immediately makes it hurt, so I know the trauma is stored in my brain/ my body. Nature has been proven to regenerate our bodies, help us heal. Im learning to move as best i can despite pain and most of all im learning there is a much greater understanding of hollistic healing in Eastern/ Asian practices. Don't dwell on pain, its hard but that creates poor body chemistry. Live in gratitude for small things, its changing my mentality and slowly my fear dissipates. Gd luck to each of us on our journey. Im very thankful for this blog .

Jump to this post

Hi Annie,

Thank you for such a thoughtful, elegant, and useful comment. I am sorry for your chronic pain, but your attitude and beliefs about it are inspiring.

One line really stuck with me:

"Live in gratitude for small things..."

Sometimes I completely miss the small things, the kindness or courtesy of a stranger, The kindness of my wife to make dinner for us every night, the marvelous surgeons I've had over the years, and on.

I recently tried acupuncture (on a lark, really) for my lower and upper back and was amazed at the great results. I'm going to pursue acupuncture as a means of creating clear energy flow in my body, and dry needling to address specific and tight muscles in my back.

I agree there is a lot to learn from Eastern medicine. And it's been practiced since at least 500 BC, if not longer, by the Chinese and elsewhere in Asia. Eastern medicine, to me, is results oriented, while Western medicine is proof oriented. They can both be put to great use.

I've had both knees, right hip and left shoulder replaced - all by brilliant surgeons and then with the help of gifted PTs. It's amazing to me that these replacements are even possible - much less the degree of accuracy and pain reduction achieved.

After my first acupuncture session, I immediately felt relief in my back, and an overall sense of calm. It was terrific!

Thanks again Annie.

Joe

REPLY
Profile picture for heyjoe415 @heyjoe415

Thank you bilt4pain,

I'm sorry about the pain you experience. Thanks for sharing with us. At 71, I put in the work necessary to stay healthy, but chronic pain can strike anyone. My most recent experience was the three months before I had my shoulder replaced.

The pain started, really discomfort, started slowly. As osteoarthritis tightened its grip, I was in everyday pain - and because I scheduled it so late, had to wait 3 months for the surgery. I had the shoulder replaced on August and, OMG what a difference without that daily pain.

But you are an absolute hero for dealing with 6-8 pain for such a long time. What is the nature of the pain, if you don't mind my asking.

You still have your sense of humor, and I think that's incredible and inspiring.

Thank you friend.

Joe

Jump to this post

@heyjoe415 In my 20’s I had a parachute issue. It wasn’t the fall, but the sudden stop that would forever change my life. Lived with a back that “went out” every so often for over 20 years. Then it became Degenerative Disk disease. Was fused from T11-S1, in a straight line and developed thoracic kyphosis (a hunchback). When they rebuilt me, I now have FBSS of Thoracic spine
FBSS of lumbar spine
Failed laminectomy surgery
CRPS
So while the nature of my pain has come from different sources the results have always been the same.
They had no choice but to break my spine in 4 places and then rebuild it. The mechanics of the surgery worked but unfortunately it created CRPS.

Always nice to get a compliment, thanks Joe.

REPLY
Profile picture for heyjoe415 @heyjoe415

Hi Annie,

Thank you for such a thoughtful, elegant, and useful comment. I am sorry for your chronic pain, but your attitude and beliefs about it are inspiring.

One line really stuck with me:

"Live in gratitude for small things..."

Sometimes I completely miss the small things, the kindness or courtesy of a stranger, The kindness of my wife to make dinner for us every night, the marvelous surgeons I've had over the years, and on.

I recently tried acupuncture (on a lark, really) for my lower and upper back and was amazed at the great results. I'm going to pursue acupuncture as a means of creating clear energy flow in my body, and dry needling to address specific and tight muscles in my back.

I agree there is a lot to learn from Eastern medicine. And it's been practiced since at least 500 BC, if not longer, by the Chinese and elsewhere in Asia. Eastern medicine, to me, is results oriented, while Western medicine is proof oriented. They can both be put to great use.

I've had both knees, right hip and left shoulder replaced - all by brilliant surgeons and then with the help of gifted PTs. It's amazing to me that these replacements are even possible - much less the degree of accuracy and pain reduction achieved.

After my first acupuncture session, I immediately felt relief in my back, and an overall sense of calm. It was terrific!

Thanks again Annie.

Joe

Jump to this post

@heyjoe415 I am astonished but delighted by all your surgeries and the success. Truly incredible. The medical field where i live is not so good. Hard to find good Drs and good surgeons. So happy all went well for you. Very best wishes.

REPLY
Profile picture for heyjoe415 @heyjoe415

Thanks Pedro. Did you write this? It is elegant and moving. Thank you. Joe

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@heyjoe415 Hi Joe, yes, I wrote it. Just trying to understand how my days filled with debilitating pain take away the comforts of life, but I strive to live with better days. Thank you!

REPLY
Profile picture for anniesezu812 @anniesezu812

Hello everyone,
Since my small abominal njury in 2010 which needed surgical repair but didn't get until 2016, my life has become one of chronic, ever worsening pain.
What has it taught me...its led me to Dr Joe Dispenza, the science behind why meditating works, its introduced me to the World of Neuroscience ( now my passion).and the brain's neuroplasticity, and fear of our pain holds us in the never ending cycle of pain. Im learning the body has the capacity to heal, that Western medicine has no good answers for chronic pain but hollistic help is better. I'm learning to not fear my pain, which is disabling but to allow my wonderous body to heal at its own pace. Our body stores trauma, sometimes the thought of my injury immediately makes it hurt, so I know the trauma is stored in my brain/ my body. Nature has been proven to regenerate our bodies, help us heal. Im learning to move as best i can despite pain and most of all im learning there is a much greater understanding of hollistic healing in Eastern/ Asian practices. Don't dwell on pain, its hard but that creates poor body chemistry. Live in gratitude for small things, its changing my mentality and slowly my fear dissipates. Gd luck to each of us on our journey. Im very thankful for this blog .

Jump to this post

@anniesezu812

If you haven't read this book, you might enjoy reading it (You could have written it):
https://www.amazon.com/s
The book was recommended to me, and I just ordered a copy.

George's Wife

REPLY
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