What has helped you feel less alone in your grief?

What helped me was talking about it with friends and family. I also joined a support group for a couple of months. The most important thing is to reach out to other people, as trying to tough it out on your own just makes it harder.

being with my grandchildren

@mbixler Thank you for sharing. It sounds like your family, friends, and support group became an important source of strength during a difficult season. Looking back now, was there one conversation or one piece of advice that stayed with you the most? Sometimes those moments can encourage someone else who may be reading today. 💜

@catherine55 Thank you for sharing. Grandchildren have such a special way of bringing joy and helping us live in the present moment. Is there something they do that always seems to lift your spirits? I'd love to hear about it, and I'm sure others would too. 💜

Hi Dawn,
My husband died two years ago from lung cancer. Even though I was prepared for this since he had lung cancer for 14 years I wasn't quite ready for the shock and loneliness that I found myself in at the instant of my husband's death. We were married for 30 years. What helped me the most was my faith. I prayed to God everyday many times and he got me through that terrible time. What also helped immensely was just very kind people who expressed their sadness for my situation. It didn't matter how they expressed their sincere concern for my sad situation but that they took the time to do so. It meant so much to me. Also the hugs were welcome. I've never been hugged by so many people! It didn't matter whether they agreed with my religious beliefs or my politics. They were literally concerned with helping me get through a really bad time and that meant a lot. Also what helped a lot was Mayo Clinic Connect! I received so many nice messages from perfect strangers! That made me feel so good and not so alone.

Another thing that helped me was routine. I made myself get up at a certain time every day, make the bed, eat breakfast, pay the bills on time, keep doctor appointments etc. Donating a lot of my husband's clothing, tools, etc. (What am I going to do with a chop saw?) helped to take away a lot of the visible memories that would make me sad.

I believe that my husband is up in Heaven. I miss him terribly. But we'll be reunited one day in God's time. However, at the moment this is my life and I have to make it the best that I can. I'm 80 and have few friends and no family but with God's help and a lot of very nice people, I've been able to do that quite well. I'm not nearly as sad as I was two years ago.
PML

@pml Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. What you said about the shock and loneliness, even after 14 years of walking alongside your husband with cancer, is something I think many people can relate to. Grief has a way of surprising us, no matter how prepared we think we are.
I also smiled when you mentioned the kindness of strangers and how Mayo Clinic Connect helped you feel less alone. It reminds us that even small acts of compassion—a kind word, a hug, or simply taking the time to listen—can make a lasting difference.
Your words about creating a daily routine really resonated with me. Those simple, intentional steps—getting up, making the bed, keeping appointments—may seem small, but they can become anchors during grief. Thank you for reminding us that healing often comes one faithful step at a time. Looking back now, is there one daily habit that still brings you the most comfort or peace? I think your experience could encourage many others who are just beginning this journey. 💜
Wrapping you in prayers
Dawn 😊

@pml your words are so helpful'

@dawn_giacabazi I lost a baby boy in my 6th month of pregnancy during a horrific car accident, and almost lost my toddler daughter as well. Miscarriage is a specific sort of grief. It isn’t just the loss of the pregnancy, but the loss of never getting to know a part of your heart. By the 6th month, the child isn’t an abstract object - you have bonded with that baby and love it fiercely. You are anticipating holding him for the 1st time, and when you never get to meet him, it leaves a hole in your heart. Many people don’t understand that. I had many people tell me that if I had to lose a child, it was far better to lose the one I had never held. Also, that we could “try again “, as though that child lost was incidental and easily replaced. I know they meant well and were genuinely trying to make me feel better, but if you have never experienced it, it’s difficult to relate. Many of my friends and family members were very supportive, giving me emotional support and letting me feel the grief. But the person who helped me the most was my Mother-in-law. She came into the nursery where I was rocking my daughter to sleep, and found me silently crying. At first she didn’t say anything, just put her hand on my shoulder - and then she told me something that made the pain bearable. She reminded me that children are loaned to us by God, to love and care for and then allowed to live independently from us. And that sometimes the loaning has a very short duration, and we have to let take God take them home. But the day will come when we are called home, and the child will be there, waiting for us. I suddenly realized that she was not just trying to comfort me, but reminding me of a fact that I already knew, but just track of in my grief. It didn’t stop my pain, but made it easier to bear, knowing that I would get to meet him. I’d just have to wait longer than I thought.

@mbixler Thank you for trusting us with such a personal part of your journey. Based on my own experience with pregnancy loss, I remember how easy it was to question everything and wonder what I could have done differently. Those questions can weigh so heavily on our hearts. Over time, I found peace in my faith, but I also learned that everyone's grief journey is unique.
Your mother-in-law's quiet presence and words of hope are such a beautiful reminder that we don't always need the perfect words—we just need someone willing to sit beside us in our pain. You shared such a beautiful gift your mother-in-law gave you. Have you found yourself sharing that same hope with anyone else who has experienced pregnancy loss?
Wrapping you in prayers. 💜
Dawn

@dawn_giacabazi
Dawn,
Thank you for your prayers! The one thing that helps me everyday is saying a prayer when I first wake up and asking God to make this a good day and help me to not feel depressed or lonely. This works every day! I get up with a good attitude and get busy with things I have to do that day.
With my husband being so ill a lot of things got left undone such as washing the windows etc. I'm doing those things now and it gives me a feeling of accomplishment to get them done.

Also the Mayo Clinic Connect still plays a major part in my life. The wonderful people on there help with the loneliness. Plus I've met many nice people on there who have worse problems than I do. I try and help them as much as I can with a few kind words and friendship. I always say a prayer for them and keep in touch with them often.

Tomorrow, July 30th is our wedding anniversary. My husband and I would have been married 32 years. I'm going to spend it remembering all the good times we had together and being thankful that there were 30 years of those happy times and lots of love for one another. Not everyone gets that. I'm fortunate to have had that in my life.
PML