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keva74
@keva74

Posts: 9
Joined: Feb 06, 2019

Too depressed to clean my apartment.

Posted by @keva74, Wed, Feb 6 12:33pm

Hi, I’m a 74 year old diabetic. It is type 2 and I was diagnosed in my 40’s. I have alternated between acceptance and completely ignoring it.the depression came on after I had a portion of my colon remove. During recovery I pulled my back out and have totally lost interest in daily cleaning. Dishes, laundry, floors, etc.. taking 100 mg sertraline, for 6 nonetheless but very little changes. I’m ashamed to have anyone over. It’s not healthy, but I’m having trouble getting started

REPLY

Hello @keva74 and welcome to Connect~

I am happy that you posted. I'd like to invite Carol, @retiredteacher to this conversation as she is also a Type II Diabetic and might have some suggestions for you.

Sometimes, it is hard to get motivated to do things, isn't it? Do you have a friend who could help you get started? A buddy to help you get started would be a good idea. A friend or family member could help you get organized and figure out what needs to be done first, second, etc.

I would also like to invite you to Connect's discussion in Diabetes at https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/diabetes-and-endocrine-problems/. Just click on the link and you will meet others like yourself you are struggling with Diabetes.

@keva74, How well is your diabetes controlled right now?

Liked by lioness, becsbuddy

@keva74 – I'd like to add my welcome to @hopeful33250's. It's a huge step to admit you are feeling too depressed to clean your apartment. Recovering from a major colon surgery and pulling your back out would definitely be barriers to me to cleaning or anything else.

I'd like to also invite @parus @becsbuddy @grandmar @aliali @mmussak @harleneq into this discussion for their input for you on feeling depressed and like it's hard to get started on things like dishes, laundry and floors.

Have you mentioned to your prescribing doctor for the sertraline that it doesn't seem to have much effect?

@lisalucier

@keva74 – I'd like to add my welcome to @hopeful33250's. It's a huge step to admit you are feeling too depressed to clean your apartment. Recovering from a major colon surgery and pulling your back out would definitely be barriers to me to cleaning or anything else.

I'd like to also invite @parus @becsbuddy @grandmar @aliali @mmussak @harleneq into this discussion for their input for you on feeling depressed and like it's hard to get started on things like dishes, laundry and floors.

Have you mentioned to your prescribing doctor for the sertraline that it doesn't seem to have much effect?

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@keva74
Welcome to the group!
Although I do not suffer from depression, I do suffer from anxiety (for which I take meds that help). And although I didn't have major colon surgery, I've had 2 spinal surgeries this last year.

Please remember that I am in no way a medical person, just an ordinary person who suffers from more ailments than I'd like to admit. I do not know if you've bee diagnosed with depression before your surgery and your back issues. It is not unusual to become sad and angry after a major surgery. It's hard to come to grips that you cannot do what you like to do or what you used to be able to do. It's also hard to accept that you are not the way you were before. These things alone, can make you depressed. However, once you are on your way to better health and on your feet again, it is possible that the depression will lift.

If depression is a condition that you have been living with, it might be possible your doc will have to either change things up or give you something else to get you over the hurdles. It might be temporary, it might be permanent. Talk with your doc and see what is suggested. For me, I got down in the dumps for a couple of months. I don't think I was clinically depressed, just literally sick and tired.

Now that my first surgery is 11 months ago and my last one about 4 months ago, I am feeling so much better! I still can't do what I used to, but I do see a light at the end of the tunnel each time I go outside and walk!! I am lucky to live in a warm weather climate so getting out is usually easy for me. I still have my moments and I am not out of the woods yet, but I am better.

Give yourself time to heal both physically and mentally. If you are 'stuck' in the house and/or bed, find something to occuply your time. If reading isn't your thing or you can't concentrate, listen to music, look at magazines, go on the computer or, as I did, get an adult coloring book with some nice markers. THAT, my friend, worked wonders for me!!!!! I got hooked and I found it very relaxing although I would stay up to finish a picture until all hours and even if my hands cramped. But that was OK, I didn't think of me.

Hope some of this helps!
Good luck!
Ronnie (GRANDMAr)

Hello and welcome to this wonderful group of people who are here to listen and tell their stories and what they have found helpful through their experiences…remember to always listen to yourself and your body too….and one thing I have learned is never stop talking to someone when feeling this way…it can change your life…dont do it alone.. so many people out there that have experienced what is happening to you that care. Please always stay in contact and I for one love to hear others progress and accomplishments!! All my best to you for now and one thing to keep in mind is you have to take care of yourself first…your apartment and cleaning will still be there when you get yourself better, please dont beat yourself up about that…we need YOU better!!

In my prayers,
Mary

I would like to thank each of you for responding to my message so quickly. I never expected so many well thought out responses. I have been on Sertraline long enough to have increased the dosage. I don’t want to become dependent on pills so I don’t want to be on too many.
I have no problem finding things to occupy my time. Physically, I can do all jobs required to clean my place, I don’t seem to be able to muster up the desire to do it. I watch tv, do jigsaw puzzles and nap. This has been going on for many months, almost a year.this past year, I had surgery for hemorrhoids, three out my back, fell and broke my left elbow, a few months ago, I fell and broke my middle finger. Had my teeth pulled for dentures, it seems like I’m always recovering from some fall or surgery. This is turning into a real pity party. Sorry about that.

@keva74

I would like to thank each of you for responding to my message so quickly. I never expected so many well thought out responses. I have been on Sertraline long enough to have increased the dosage. I don’t want to become dependent on pills so I don’t want to be on too many.
I have no problem finding things to occupy my time. Physically, I can do all jobs required to clean my place, I don’t seem to be able to muster up the desire to do it. I watch tv, do jigsaw puzzles and nap. This has been going on for many months, almost a year.this past year, I had surgery for hemorrhoids, three out my back, fell and broke my left elbow, a few months ago, I fell and broke my middle finger. Had my teeth pulled for dentures, it seems like I’m always recovering from some fall or surgery. This is turning into a real pity party. Sorry about that.

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@keva74 – a group you may want to check out on Mayo Clinic Connect, given the medical history you mentioned, is Bones, Joints & Muscles https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/arthritis-and-joint-conditions-268850/

A discussion you may be interested in is "Getting Dentures," https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/still-at-it

@keva74 Curious. Are you lacking the motivation to clean? You watch TV and work puzzles but don’t want to clean your apartment because…? I read about all of your physical issues so are you physically unable to do so? Is it so out of control you are overwhelmed?? I am confused as to why you don’t want to do so.

Liked by gingerw

@keva74 Depression can be a cruel intruder in someone's life. When I went through a major episode, my house was a shambles. From the outside it appeared I was functioning okay. But people literally didn't see what was underneath, that is, inside the front door and inside my head how messy it all was. I cannot offer you any magic solution. I can tell you that when I finally was able to take a step back and look at how unhealthy it was [as you have already mentioned] and take even 15 minutes to just clean one spot and then not worry about the rest of it. But the next day clean another spot and keep going, and feel better for seeing a difference. Set a timer and do what you can in that amount of time. Don't pressure yourself to have everything clean at one point. You will find that the satisfaction of getting a little area cleared away and organized will help you feel better. Just that alone will help ease the depression.
Ginger

@keva74 Wow, you’ve had a lot happening to you! No wonder you don’t want to do chores. Have you thought about adding music while you do jigsaw puzzles or read? Lively music can get you moving (in your chair—no more falls!) I turn on oldies but goodies while I do dishes—makes it more fun. I also just posted a comment in depression and anxiety about spending some time being artsy—drawing, painting, etc. You don’t have to be good, you just do it! When I got sick last year, I, too, became depressed. I felt as though I had lost myself. It’s taken me almost a year to find myself again and to come to terms with this being “my new normal.” Just 2 weeks ago, I finally got back to quilting (which I love) and I’m feeling so much better. I ignore housework, it’s not going anywhere!
Maybe just do 1 positive thing each day and something just for you. Maybe find a senior center, or a place to volunteer. Take one day at a time and think positive! My whole life changed , but if I keep working at it, most will come back. Let us know how you’re doing—we care!

@keva Hello if you can afford it hire someone in your family to help you get clean Maybe one or two hours a week to clean. Go to a senior recreation and ask for help. Get the ball going so others can help you. If you see some lonely kids outside ask them to help by taking out all trash for a couple dollars.

Keva74. I'd like to add my welcome to our caring group You didn't say when your surgery was ? Do you think you are just still recovering from this what you went through is something you have to accept or let the depression take over your life. Do you have family of friends you can lean on now to talk out your feelings?Maybe you have to forget cleaning yourself and take care of yourself first Hire a housekeeper for The time being Then you won't have to worry about this ,I know she won't clean like you but let that go and go out for some fresh air ,read or just listen to nature I wish you all the best

Liked by gingerw

@parus

@keva74 Curious. Are you lacking the motivation to clean? You watch TV and work puzzles but don’t want to clean your apartment because…? I read about all of your physical issues so are you physically unable to do so? Is it so out of control you are overwhelmed?? I am confused as to why you don’t want to do so.

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If I knew why, maybe I could change it, on my own. I’m physically able to do the work. I just see no purpose in it. No one ever comes over and I would try to stop them if they did. Sort of a catch 22. I want to have a clean place, but I can’t muster the interest to clean

@keva74

If I knew why, maybe I could change it, on my own. I’m physically able to do the work. I just see no purpose in it. No one ever comes over and I would try to stop them if they did. Sort of a catch 22. I want to have a clean place, but I can’t muster the interest to clean

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@keva74 I'm 76 and I have a housekeeper once a month I keep it feed up and dust but let the heavier stuff to Rosie then you can do what you want to after working all your life you deserve something ,minds a housekeeper I hate to clean

@lioness

@keva74 I'm 76 and I have a housekeeper once a month I keep it feed up and dust but let the heavier stuff to Rosie then you can do what you want to after working all your life you deserve something ,minds a housekeeper I hate to clean

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Very smart idea. I’m thinking about doing that as well. I appreciate your suggestion. I do hate cleaning, especially dishes. Might switch to paper plates, too.

@keva74 haha I did long ago to for it

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