A childhood to put behind you for sure! Glad you found your precious self and youre loving and living life as you so deserve!!

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Thank you.

I HAVE been crying a LOT! I guess this is a withdrawal symptom? But, it’s different. It’s not as controllable as it seems it should be and, after a few minutes of weeping terribly, it ends and I feel oh so much better! Have to laugh, after a full day of looking at memory care places for mom, I brought my 8 year old to the library. Front and center was a book for kids “she’s still my grandma” about Alzheimer’s. I broke down in tears. A couple ten year old boys were whispering and looking very uncomfortable! Ha! I have to laugh now. It was pretty funny.

Then, as providence would have it, I found a gorgeous and perfect book on Ecclesiastes (sp). There truly is a time and a purpose for everything. Including weeping.

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Thank you and everyone for being so kind. Guess what my dads name was? Ronny! Ha ha!

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@rascal1
Ha, fabulous attitude, my rear end!!!!!
I used to be such a whiner…true story…all my friends left me. It got my attention, let me tell you.
I had to change or be lonely.
I chose to change.
.
It has taken me years to get where I am…thankfully I remember what I did and try to teach it. It"s always someone's choice to take advantage of what I teach or not.
I used to try to Re-lnvent the wheel until I realized I could just listen and try to use other skills folks were using cuz I could see they felt a lot better than I did.
Just saying, I wasn't always this happy person. Smiling at you, Bright Wings

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@rascal1
Ha, I say triumphantly, I finally remembered my second tip.
Go Play With Puppys and Kittens!
Some days I felt so bad, I mapped out all the places you could play with puppies and kittens. I went from place to place, pretending I was looking for a pet to buy.
After playing with many of them I would go out to the car to cry. The innocence of the animals, their trust, their wanting to be touched released feelings long buried in me.
I could see that as a child, I too was trusting people…but it was THEY that were the bad ones, not me. I had to stop believing the lies I was told and then and only then could I allow myself to see myself as the Inocent I was….
Playing with the puppies and kittens were just one step to me getting to where I am today…Happy
Bright Wings

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@secretwhitepop
Oh, I know the verses you mean. So comforting! They have helped me so many times!
Yes, for me, this is the time to start living again. Time for me laugh, dance and sing.
After being invisible in the town I lived in since 2014, yes it was time to move away and start living again. I am so happy now. I wouldn't think I could be so happy and have sooo many friends when I just started getting out a month ago.
But I have blossomed and my singing has brought me to everyone's attention as well as my very outgoing personality.
I feel like I have finally become who I should have been, had I been loved and protected like I should have been, just for being the precious child I was.
Unfortunately, I was more than ill treated AND I had to become my own safe loving adult.
I never gave up on myself…I can't begin to tell you all how many times I was suicidal. 1000's would not be an exaggeration. BUT my brother committed suicide at age 25. I could and would not do this to my family again.
I believe my brother started to recover his memories at age 25. 1974 or so…Psychiatry was not yet ready to handle his memories. They were barely ready to handle mine in 1986…
Yes, there is a time for everything under heaven. I am Truely grateful.
Bright Wings

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@secretwhitepop,
My mom developed alzeimers disease not long after we got off the cruise. I admit, I missed a few signs while on the ship but I was there as a daughter, not a nurse…I thought it was forgetfulness.
Now what I am going to say is absolute truth for most folks with Alzheimer's. They do not seem to realize what they have lost. I have seen this over and over again.
This disease is harder on family than the person with the disease.
Wishing to share comfort with you, Bright Wings.

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@secretwhitepop,
My mom developed alzeimers disease not long after we got off the cruise. I admit, I missed a few signs while on the ship but I was there as a daughter, not a nurse…I thought it was forgetfulness.
Now what I am going to say is absolute truth for most folks with Alzheimer's. They do not seem to realize what they have lost. I have seen this over and over again.
This disease is harder on family than the person with the disease.
Wishing to share comfort with you, Bright Wings.

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Thank you, that helps. One of the places we visited yesterday had a staff with very very little turn over. And the lady who was basically “everything” there but her official title was head of housekeeping, she gave me and my brother the greatest hug! She says she hugs everyone every morning. The place was not the prettiest, but the staff was amazing. Really cares about the folks and my brother and I. Knowing my mom is ever suffering for one minute is awful! And yes, before my daughter was baptized in 2012, mom “forgot” she was going to babysit while my husband and I went to a class. Didn’t even think it could be the “beginning” but mom never “blitzed” like that. And there are many more examples.

Thank you for your post!

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@brightwings My father committed suicide which is why I would not want to this to my little 4 year old grandson who needs me and a quiet place to come-his daddy too. I may think I would not be missed. Physical pain keeps me from participating as much as I would like to. What a shame to have a mommy that is a chronic complainer. Nothing is ever good enough. Ouch.

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Thank you, that helps. One of the places we visited yesterday had a staff with very very little turn over. And the lady who was basically “everything” there but her official title was head of housekeeping, she gave me and my brother the greatest hug! She says she hugs everyone every morning. The place was not the prettiest, but the staff was amazing. Really cares about the folks and my brother and I. Knowing my mom is ever suffering for one minute is awful! And yes, before my daughter was baptized in 2012, mom “forgot” she was going to babysit while my husband and I went to a class. Didn’t even think it could be the “beginning” but mom never “blitzed” like that. And there are many more examples.

Thank you for your post!

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@brightwings Interesting how I have experienced the opposite. I have lost friends (relationships) because of NOT being a whiner and endeavoring to find something positive to bring into a conversation. I have also learned and we are still learning.
Being happy and content takes hard work as we are trying to rewire our minds. Nice to know there are others learning and trying. Thank you.

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Thank you, that helps. One of the places we visited yesterday had a staff with very very little turn over. And the lady who was basically “everything” there but her official title was head of housekeeping, she gave me and my brother the greatest hug! She says she hugs everyone every morning. The place was not the prettiest, but the staff was amazing. Really cares about the folks and my brother and I. Knowing my mom is ever suffering for one minute is awful! And yes, before my daughter was baptized in 2012, mom “forgot” she was going to babysit while my husband and I went to a class. Didn’t even think it could be the “beginning” but mom never “blitzed” like that. And there are many more examples.

Thank you for your post!

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@brightwings– You must be devastated about your mom's diagnosis. Please don't blame yourself for missing some early signs. This is very normal because as we get older somethings just slips by us. The loss is definitely more devastating for people who do remember.
This group might be of interest to you about your mom, and what you are going through. My mom had Parkinson Disease and she lost her short term memory and then most of her past.
I think that you might be able to get a lot out of this group : https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/eoalzheimers/?orderby=DESC#chv4-comment-stream-header
How are your withdrawal symptoms now that you are home and dealing with your mom?

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@secretwhitepop,
My mom developed alzeimers disease not long after we got off the cruise. I admit, I missed a few signs while on the ship but I was there as a daughter, not a nurse…I thought it was forgetfulness.
Now what I am going to say is absolute truth for most folks with Alzheimer's. They do not seem to realize what they have lost. I have seen this over and over again.
This disease is harder on family than the person with the disease.
Wishing to share comfort with you, Bright Wings.

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