Partner in hospital with COVID: It's the ultimate scare of my life
good evening, i guess we just say whats on our mind? Help. to tell the truth ive never been more scared in my life. my friend or actually my boyfriends co worker who ive never met although hes worked for this company for over 5 yrs said I sound high spirited, welp, im not. I think its because ive told myself to expect the worse but truthfully i am in such disbelief, horror and i dont know how to make it stop.
my boyfriend of 18 yrs is in the hospital with covid. He was having trouble breathing so he was admitted to icu for 2 weeks. he can barely talk and i visualize him as the fighter or the strong man ive known him to be. hes gone from icu to the fourth floor where he has his own phone now but cant seem to remember my number and he seems to be sleeping when i call the nurses station when im almost in a panic because i cant see him, take care of him or just, I dont know, something better than the engagement of the now communication which seems like none.
ive read about covid recently and the affects as well as the during and after math. this is down right the worse and sure hes not in icu anymore but i dont think hes in the clear and he seems so far from any kind of clear by far. hes 44 and im trying to prepare myself if he doesnt make it but come on, im fooling myself. I dont know how ive kept it together. I wish someone would tell me hes not gonna die. thats not possible as each person is different.
I just want to know hes not gonna die. im not ready, not that anyone ever really is, to let him go.
please, i not only need support and need to be told this is not the end.
bless each and everyone who is having a difficult time with covid and/or any other sickness. I know im not alone on my feelings but i feel alone.
I wish this covid thing affected everyone the same. not to see or hear a person going through any torture, no not at all. i just wanna know what to expect.
im sorry to anyone whos gone through this or anything unexpected. it doesnt seem fair. i know life isnt fair, this seems more unfair then the most unfairness imagined.